Don't worry, you commies have options too.
Why not try the Greater Manchester Dystopian Ramble?
Start your day at Farnworth Market. Stroll amongst the stalls offering cut price Crocs, Fruit n Veg grown on an allotment in Kearsley, or nylon clothing sold by the kilo.
After that, catch a bus down to Little Hulton, where you can shuffle around the sprawling estates, treading in dog dirt and rummaging through burnt out skips for socialist treasures.
Finish your walk by getting another bus into Walkden. Rest up on a metal bench and take in the local sights of spice addicts sliding down the windows of pound shops; Fat, teenage mothers of 4 arguing with each other about which delightful partner had the best tasting jizz, or just amble into a nearby alley and lie face down in a puddle hoping you die before the binmen take you away.
There's something for everyone in Boris's Britain.