Leaderboard

I’m Alan Partridge join me tonight when my guests will be, I don't know, Chris Rea”. Actually, he lives in the area. I could have had him over. “Alright Chris!” “Hello Alan I didn't know you'd moved in” “Yeah, just moved in, last week. I'm having a barbecue, fancy coming over?” “I'd love to! Do you mind if I bring my guitar?” “I'd rather you didn't, it's not that kind of area. Do you like Mini Kievs?” “I love them! But my wife's vegetarian” "Doesn't matter. She can have fish” “No she won't eat that either” “Oh FORGET IT".

I'm including his aliases so Royal White doesn't count either 2

Finished shift 10 of 10. Two days off now and I've stupidly offered to come into work and help if needed on those days.

It's the real deal this. All petty bollocks, politics and nonsense needs binning off. We're in a real scrape here and we're all going to have to help each other through it.

We’ve massively less cases than everyone else from what we can see. Maybe we haven’t. Who knows. But If your looking to hang someone politically as per usual mick please go and take your hangman kit somewhere else mate eh as now isn’t the time for it. Cheers

We've had one down here suggesting that crushing 8 cloves of garlic in a coffee mug, covering with boiling water for 5 minutes then drinking the resulting brew will ward it off. Must be based on the 'no fucker will come near you' theory.

I think once this all over the whole human race will all be friends again Like how Bolton and Spurs fans after the game when Muamba nearly died were But only until Tranmere away

Word Up

Absolute hero of mine. Had the pleasure of meeting him. He stayed and chatted to us for a good 10 minutes, couldn’t understand a word he said but it was great nonetheless

Ian, Has she got a friendly neighbour who would let you sreal a bit of internet while this goes on? Id let her log on to mine and im a right miserable fcuker normally

The virus probably got off the train at Bolton saw manny road and thought fuck this it looks like Chernobyl and got back on the train to Preston

No pool here. But I might be off work for a while, I’ll start digging. Next door have a hot tub. Not tried it out but they don’t charge I just have to bring our Maude and put keys in a bowl for safe keeping. Nice really.

Community nurses 👍 thank fuck I don't work on a ward, I'd feel trapped!

Spider getting rumbled here.

Would lockdown stop everyone from working? Still permitted in France, albeit with paperwork. If it does, I'll just carry on, but in my own garden. Plenty of wood to cut and it's a super work out.

Ah shit. I was chucking money in for those pics. I will happily put money in for drink as well though

I'm built for bouncing, I'll be fine.

Great lever

Most accurate summary I've read so far.... https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/covid-19-update-what-you-need-to-know/

Lots of upholstery will need cleaning after prolonged isolation, start the marketing now

That's Gonzos.

Had a Corona Virus Test today. Negative thank God.

keeping people 6 feet away is a good 9 feet less than i normally like.

The entire British empire was built on cups of tea and anyone thinks I’m going to war with a pandemic without one, you’ll be fuckin right because there’s no bastard milk about!

John Aldridge. A sneaky fucking cunt who delights in making you feel shit once in a lifetime

No worries. It is patronise by the way in case you did not know. 😁

How do you know they’ve fucked it up? Enlighten me dr brown how the fuck do you know? You got a medical lab in your fucking shed ???

My mates been WFH for a couple of days... His wife isn't too pleased as he's tarmaced the living room 😊

Anyone asking ‘should I go to ....’ knows full well that they should not go. If you choose to go out to pub/gym/restaurant etc you are definitely more likely to spread/ catch the virus that someone that chooses not to. That is a fact. The only question is how much more likely. Let’s say the odds are 1 in a million. There are 60 million people in the country so we end up with 60 extra cases. Each person infects 4 people...so that is 240 people...who infect 4 people. So 960 people. Then 3840 people. Death rate is about 2%. So we have 76 people dead. People stock piling are fucking idiots. People going out are exactly the same. I am no fan of Boris but putting together rules/advice/laws to cover ever scenario is impossible. So either blame everyone else or take some personal responsibility. Your choice although apparently making a bad choice is ok because it is not a rule.

Looking at that particular video, it just seems like common sense stuff really.

Winter hey Lane. Greeley’s butcher and greengrocers next door up the road. Smithills farm do deliveries. Google them their website is ace and the produce is brill. the greengrocers will deliver as well by the way.

I'm fairly sure I'll have to barricade my Dad indoors at some point.

We are nation of alcoholics and fat fuckers. Theyd have to chain the pubs shut to stop folk going. Any old duffer I’ve encountered this week couldn’t give a fuck about any of this and thinks it’s a load of old bollocks. meanwhile I’ve just to been to a massive office block full of millennials all stood 10 feet away from each other trying to hold a conversation. These panic fuckers aren’t remotely bothered about a virus, they’re just worried there’s gonna be no food left to feed their fat horrible greedy faces. we are a nation of cunts who don’t care about anyone else but ourselves.

I just don't get why folk are skeptical about the actions people are taking to reduce the risk, or sneering at the numbers in this country so far a shit storm is on the way, we're only at the beginning, we just need to look abroad to see what's coming yet Clockwise Casino thinks people die everyday anyway, so we're worrying about nothing if the numbers do stay low, it'll be through proactive measures, and not because people have over reacted

Says the old fella who regularly fantasises about having people shot because they disagree with him.

This is about minimising the strain on the NHS so everyone who needs treatment can get it Why fuck around carrying on as normal only to put more people at risk and place greater strain on the NHS? That's how people will die You'll be fine though, particularly if you up your vitamin D intake But you're not at risk or trying to save the lives of those who are, so crack on

to the vast majority, that's all it will be.

They've only "strongly advised against" and "recommended". If they do want these behavioural changes to be a success, I think they're going to have to be enforced.

I don't see the logic in throwing shit at someone buying up pasta in Aldi, if you're then also going to flout the advice by cracking on doing whatever the fuck you want. Some people on here are extremely confident this is all going to blow over in a fortnight, in which case a couple of weekends drinking at home should be no problem.

Went in Tesco, just a solitary lettuce on the shelves. Using it to wipe my arse with. Just the tip of the iceberg

I'd hazard a guess that the vast majority of food that has been bought in panic will end up in the bin

Cheeky fucker. That’s you back to getting the first round in 🤣

Keep going you are a superstar as you all are. Country is lucky to have you all

I was at a pub on Saturday that had popcorn in a bowl on the bar for everybody to stick their virus infested fingers into. Someone clearly hadn't got the memo. That'll be my last night out for a whole I reckon. Things have moved on apace. Even since the weekend.