Thorpey

Get people knocking doors for you and give them ?5 per card sold! Get food outlets to sell card and give them ?5 per card sold! This will encourage them to go back.

Crack on mate ..... assuming you don't live anywhere near me!

Me and a mate have hatched plan to make a quick buck but seems too easy to be true. 1. Deliver letter to all pubs, restaurants and takeaways (32 in total in our 'village') asking if they want to offer any sort of food promotion to a village discount card holder. No charge and free advertising for them. 2. Set up web site advertising card for ?15 and details of which places will offer a discount for any food purchases 3. For ?5 per card sold, get people knocking at doors for you or ask places that offer discount to sell for you Initial outlay for letter, web site and cards circa ?90 Properties in village 12,000 - surely 1% would buy one?? Only need to get someone to sell 10 and in profit!! Am I missing something? p.s. will include kebabs, curries and chinkies. p.p.s. I know I live in a big village.

Sure someone said to me once that; One flash - you're ok, no film in Two flashes - you've had it. Takes two pics to measure your speed over a distance Not sure if that's true or not.

Somehow the local agreed to let gypos have a wedding reception in the pub. Locals left when the kids started throwing pool balls around about 6pm then they robbed the place at 4am the next morning. Got ?1200 but wanted to know where the other ?800 was as they said they spent over ?2k behind the bar. Should have checked the landlord's jeans by the side of the bed you numpties! Other funny was when gypo kids broke into the yard of the stepson's courier business. Picked the 4 digit padlock no problem and the little fuckers took great pride when I got down there to tell me the combination. Doesn't take a lot fair play but shitting in the yard takes the piss especially with no sight of bog roll. Bought a new key padlock but couldn't open one of those sealed packages. One of the gypo parents came out apologising about the kids saying he had no control. Asked him to borrow some scissors and he came back out of the caravan with a big fuck off knife! Only had one finger left on each hand and couldn't manage to break the package open but did let me borrow the knife. Same day went back to give the yard the once over to find out all the caravans had gone. They left 2 little kids behind about 3 and 5 who said they had to learn how to find their parents. Poor fuckers. Drove off to and found gypos a couple of miles away. Went back and took the kids close by before dropping them off and disappearing quick. God knows what would have happened if they'd seen me with the kids in the car but couldn't leave them in the middle of nowhere at that age. Hate gypos.

Thanks for reading Owen! Every single one of 'em tried their bollox off! Shows what a difference it makes when N'gog, Petrov and Eagles (bit lightweight!) hassle from the front. Fuckin' brilliant!

Met 'her' a few times and doesn't agree with me! Drank it all day at Ascot once and ended up 80 miles from home with a stunner! Problem was its a pain in the arse trying to get back from Dagenham during rush hour. No idea to this day how I got there but she was very complimentary in the morning! Felt like shite all the way back. Never touched it since unless the local runs out of Fosters.

A few pints of Kronenbourg, beat senseless by a bouncer. Taken home by a bird neighbour. Black eyes, battered and bruised. Dad wanted to go into town to sort out the bouncer. Never touched Kronie since. Stick to Fosters now but partial to the odd Peroni now but never Kronie again. Nearly 30 year back that.

I'm not asking; Spleening To penetrate the female vagina or rectum (or the male rectum) deeply with the penis. i.e. penertrating so deeply as to touch the spleen) I gave her/him a good spleening

Lost me mate! Scenario 2? Only put message on here to find out how I should be communicating with someone with her condition, especially when I'm at home alone with her and the missus is out at work ........

Not on it tonight mate or probably would! May be tomorrow after another day working from home eh .......... ??

What the fucks that about?

Thing is it's 'uckin true. Loads more an all but worried about who might be reading! What the 'uck!

Only sneaked a quick look in the undies drawer so far .......

Missus thought it'd be a good idea to help an mate out by letting her move in as her brother wanted her out as he wanted his bird to move into their flat. She's late twenties and has had psychosis / bipolar for a few years but seems a nice girl and moved in on Saturday for 3 months max with tenancy agreement done and dusted til she found a new place. Now found out that brother's bird has been released from nick for crying rape, he's a not right big style and she got 'forced' into 'street life' to pay drug debts. Two of the neighbours are coppers and 'out of hours' mates and will soon find out. Working from home is proving difficult! Help! HBAHT - massive.

Saw Bolton (& Bury? rings a bell for some reason) away at Bracknell in about '85 I think. 4 of us went but we got thrown out for sounding the air horn when Bracknell had a free throw shot or whatever you call it. Argued the toss with the stewards that the Bracknell lot were putting our lot off by shouting, booing etc when we had a free throw but they wouldn't have it. Only found out later that an air horn goes off for a timeout or something .... unless the geezer in the bar was winding me up?? No idea. And it was shit.

That was the problem at OT. Close down too tight in the final third and they played it in behind and exploited our lack of pace. Drop off in the final third and they play to feet and play through us with intricate footie. That's why we can't carry non defending type players in out predicament. Other teams will have picked up on it and will exploit as they have been doing for most of the season. Unfortunately we don't have the same type of players now that Big Sam had.

I'm no Prem Manager but two major observations from this weekend. Yesterday at OT we were screwed whenever we went tight at the back or dropped off. If we went tight they played in behind us and beat us for pace. If we dropped off they played into feet up front and played through us in the last third with movement as our markers weren't tight. Watching Swansea today, they never gave Arsenal time on the ball at the back by pressing high and if the ball made it through to the midfield, they were there and nicking it away. What happened to the days when we hassled and harried from the front, SKD flying in and defenders wetting themselves. 'Wash' N'gog & Klasnic won't / can't do it which leaves us stuffed as Muamba and NRC get sod all support from Eagles and Petrov. So 3 / 4 players who don't help defend, reliance on 2 in the middle against an attacking 4 man midfield and being clueless at the back as to what we're supposed to be doing. Sort it out Owen. p.s. In Owen I trust. Just hope he sees what I see!

Didn't like that. I like cats. Fair play to the wind up bird tho.

Scarborough 0-4 Loads of whites there but we got hammered. Bank holiday weekend I think, couldn't get a B&B when we got there and 4 (brought the birds) of us ended up in a room in a OAP sheltered accommodation place. Dead romantic that.

Left college early for that one with a mate from Reading. Just passed my test. Borrowed mates mums Renault 5 as she was away. Got a speeding ticket near ground so had to own up when we got back. Thank f*ck I was covered by her insurance 'cos I didn't have a car. She wasn't best pleased.

Wait til you get there mate. I got done last year booking on line and paying in full for two weeks. When we got to airport the London based mob we booked through had not paid the local company who were providing the car. Had to pay for another one and then claim when we got back. Turned out the car we got from Luz worked out cheaper than the one we had already paid for. Pretty sure they had a desk at the shelter where you would normally pick the car up from which is straight ahead through the car park as you walk out the front of the airport. Got the cash back eventually.

Got me thinking this thread back to happy days when you did what you wanted! In no particular order, top 5 weirdest; On a cricket square when oppo declared on 37 for 2 so we couldn't get the bonus points needed to win league On bank near lake where small yacht race going on 20 yards away and they were trying to get round a buoy Church doorway in town centre MR2 bonnet, lights up, parked in bunker on golf course School changing rooms while sports teacher was with her mate one Sat morning Sure I'll think of others. Don't tell the missus, none of these were her.

At ?2k cash in his back bin for personal appearances, I 'guess' that might be a clue to his decision. Saying that, when he threw a dart over a beam in our local social club into the treble 20, cash was worth it! He ain't a bad player or a bad lad. That Scoltern geezer with the long neck was as boring as fuck tho a few years back and the blond bird who's good looked dirty but nervous as hell trying to talk in front of an audience. Fair play Hawaii, get your cash while you can if you're not entering for next year.

Defo regional. My Gran sold bacon barms, pie barms, pastie barms etc on Wigan Road in Deane for years - Mrs Thorpe, anyone remember her from 70s and 80s? Other Gran lived in Farnworth and as a lad I remember being sent to the bakers near Harper Green School for flour cakes. Both were exactly the same things & lovely with loads of butter and home made pickled onions on.