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Wanderers Ways - passion not fashion

Youri McAnespie

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Everything posted by Youri McAnespie

  1. I was very poorly once, had oedema everywhere. Including my sac. It was like sommat out of a textbook on rare tropical diseases. Easily the size and weight of a large cantaloupe, getting on for a honeydew before sommat kicked back into gear - back to normal in two days. My dead epidermis came off in the bath - favvered vine leaves off oversteamed dolma.
  2. Is your other half an angler? Could've scooped 'em into your lidded coffee mug, took them home for his next fishing trip. Anyhow I thought maggot debridement was all the rage these days?
  3. Just don't keep your wares in one of these... Nor loiter outside cornershops with your hands down your shitcatchers.
  4. Zero months at 13-14 years old. Just 'retire' at fifteen. If continuing trading beyond that age just keep a single cake and sell slices as and when required, cheesemonger stylee. If caught out claim the cake is for Percy. Foolproof.
  5. Mick Hucknall (pictured below). The ginger swine, the ginger get. Ginger minge-er.
  6. Didn't he dump his wife by fax to shack up with the 17yr old nanny he'd been nobbing behind her back? The nanny has since fucked him off, and thoroughly rinsed him... https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/13130029/phil-collins-ex-orianne-cevey-bentley-car/ However, as the article above shows, the intervening years have not been kind on the nanny, she's more nanny-goatlike tattooed carny woman these days. Perhaps wily old Phil considers it small price to pay to be shut of her?
  7. They'll have used CDT skills to covert a steel airsoft gun to fire live rounds. It'd be good to bust at least one cap in an ass. If it blows off the hand of the defender then they should charge at their assailant brandishing their bloody stump shouting "I've got (bad) AIDS! I've got (bad) AIDS!"
  8. No wonder it folded. Chicititos price. Bottle of Brooklyn Lager - £7. Tiny piece of chicken and some par-fry chips in a little zinc bucket - £23. Plus having to tolerate a load of middle-aged bob-millionaires from trampy wife-beatery* Horwich. Whereas... FIVE Brooklyn Lagers from Home Bargains - £3.49. Colonel's Bucket for One from KFC - £8. Eat and drink and make merry in the bus shelter on The Linkway - better class of people there. * Horwich accounts for a disproportionate amount of kettle scaldings and general brutish spousal abuse
  9. Never mind all that. Has anyone else read this? https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/dec/18/woman-burned-alive-in-lift1 What a bastard... He favvers Drogba. Speaking of murderous bastards, has anyone watched 'The Serpent' it's about a serial killer in the 70's. That tidy 'in her thirties but favvers jailbait' girl off Emmerdale plays his girlfriend - it looks good.
  10. "Cough...it's...erm.. cough - about this much...(bubble bubble bubble)..." (Holds hand up as if clutching a small-ish bar of soap).
  11. There are twenty eight grams in an imperial ounce, if Johnny buys a quarter of an ounce of cake mixture for £22.50 and divides into 1g cakes, how much profit will he make if each of these is sold for £5. Additional marks: How many times would Johnny need to do this procedure to regain his initial investment? Those are basic problems that any child of 13-14 worth their salt should be able to solve in an eyeblink.
  12. Leave the lad alone. Top shagger. Did you not see his rugby tackle at Socceraid? Him on a zipwire? Waving the Union Flag in Beijing in 2008? He's great.
  13. The probability of death for all age groups is 100%. That fucking check shirt Miw Wahl cant - what an utter twat, nailed on he's missing being the bar-room barrister doling out unsolicited and incorrect bollocks advice to drinkers wanting a quiet pint... It's been stated before but the 'democratisation' of the internet has become a cancerous thing. Now any idiot can mash a screen with their clumsy paws, previously thick as fuck cunts knew their place and were at least self-aware enough to keep the contents of their tiny minds to themselves, or would only brain-fart in the compan
  14. Extremely hungover me and the then bird (c-cup) went in a potty/commode/bog museum in Prague. I thought it'd be shite... All I could think of was "people have shat in that - fucking animals". But now I have a £2000 Armitage Shanks with a platinum seat. The bar next door was the last place I went in where folk were smoking. That gaff knocked me more sick than the po museum.
  15. I presume anyone with a five figure watch is willing and able to fight to the death in unarmed or armed combat..? And they can make weapons out of anything and everything that comes to hand?
  16. If one ventured out sans hired goons with such an item, even if someone gave you the option of 'your watch' or 'your watch and your hand' (whilst brandishing an axe) - where could they possibly flog it on?
  17. Quarter of a million to have the same watch as an OCD arsepicker. Crazy. Knockoff ones available for $499. Dubaiwatches.com
  18. @Sweep Apparently so. Surely eBay wouldn't allow such a high ticket item unless it was kosher? I wonder if Paypal would extend their 'pay after delivery' option to me for this purchase? 😀
  19. Nae bother. I can laugh about it now. Plus I'd have probably ended up in Germany otherwise, it kept me reined in until about twelve and about 5' 10".
  20. Don't Bargain Booze lay on gratis webspace for franchisees?
  21. I'm sorry, I dunno which is most mental; the asking price, where it's being flogged, PayPal and eBay's potential commission or that some would buy the fucker in the first place..? £34.85 for P+P. What could possibly go wrong? Not Yodel surely - they'd probably sling it over the back fence. https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Richard-Mille-Rafael-Nadal-Red-NTPT-Carbon-Automatic-Mens-Watch-RM35-02/133638768414?hash=item1f1d7dc71e:g:xvMAAOSwplBgAeo4 I presume there's some Russian moron who was in the right place at the right time circa 1992 with a bona-fide one, probably with a c
  22. That 'cow' is long dead... You swine. 😀 Anyhow I'm probably of the last generation where a crack was expected, my parents weren't particularly smack-happy either. It made us. Tough but dysfunctional - I'll take that over mard but well-rounded.
  23. It was down to 'the change'... I never knew whether to expect a cuddle or a crack. That's why I can't maintain a relationship longer than for around four years. 😀
  24. My menopausally enraged mother rammed my little face onto a plate with a Goblin meat pudding on it after it was flat out refused like a horse at Beecher's Brook. It was the impression of the can bottom in it, looked like dogfood. I made a very sad Shepherd in the school Nativity play the same evening. 🙁 They sell that tinned bacon roll at the corner shop, I was served that fried as a kid and liked it - often thought about getting some. But I don't own a frying pan. Now that's food related snobbery. (Apologies to the italicscist).
  25. I meant adopting the Bālāsana yoga pose, which looks like prostration to the one true God, helps expel gases... Who but a maniac would eat a whole cauli and expect any other outcome though? I refuse to eat parsnips as they blow me up like The Hindenberg - a pity as I love a roast carrot, parsnip, swede combo with Sunday dinner. And @Mr Grey Fray Bentos are definitely smaller - they used to be just shy of small dinner plate size. In fact I bet bedsit dossers kept them for use as plates back in the 80's...
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