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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

Youri McAnespie

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Everything posted by Youri McAnespie

  1. Perhaps the critics of the critical should move to somewhere like; China, Russia, iran, Saudi Arabia or Ethiopia? Few people criticise the 'leadership' in those countries...
  2. There is zero chance Freddie Flintoff has ever used 'lunch' unless he was using it mockingly whilst duffing up a posh schoolmate who'd used it seriously. Can anyone imagine someone saying "I'm just nipping to the chippy for my lunch"? They'd be sacked on the spot.
  3. In his jafaican accent or his 'waay aye Man Ahm from NOOCastle, wen the last boot came in, bonny lad'. accent?
  4. When their landlords put the rent up and the HB won't cover it any longer. The authorities have to rehouse them - so they give them a choice, a house in; Bolton, Wolverhampton, Sunderland etc. or a few boxes chucked down a backstreet in South London.
  5. It doesn't worry me at all, it disgusts me people who move from the North of England start using their (southern slags) vernacular, ashamed of their proletarian roots.
  6. Dsubhill - everywhere is open even on Christmas Day.
  7. 'Lunch, lunch, lunch, lunch...' - what a ploughman's lunch? A packed lunch? If you're born and bred in Bolton it's your DINNER. If you get elevated to the nobility it's still your DINNER. Hence dinnerladies, dinner-time, "have you had some dinner?". Dinner referring to your tea should only be used by southern ponces and in 'Dowton Abbey' scripts.
  8. And after two wears it either ends up in landfill here or in the sea off West Africa when even impoverished Africans turn their noses up at the tat.
  9. You just shat them out, indian sweets have gold leaf on them, what's the point?
  10. When Revolution was open you could buy a stick of shots of flavoured vodka, somebody got me with the chilli one - that ended the night, on another occasion I played the same trick on a mate - I genuinely thought he was going to have a heart attack.
  11. I was an Encona man until the price went up, switched to Windward 79p at Home Bargains, then I realised apart from cereal I was putting both on everything, I was going through about 7 bottles of it a month. Then I clocked the sodium content - not had any since November.
  12. I dunno who they thought would be outraged by that ^ me and all my mates in our late teens and early twenties thought it was hilarious, I thought and said "Teddy Sheringham looks like he's E'd up at a happy hardcore event"... Venables played him (Gazza) some Kenny G sax music to prepare him for the actual tournament. Chilled him out.
  13. Ooh look at me, look at me - I go swimming in a weed strewn pond and pay £6000 a month to pay off some slum lord's mortgage. I have to drive everywhere because a cab or an über costs ten quid a mile, and I shop solely at a corner shop because there's no proper shops. I go to open mic nights in Brixton, I spend four hours on the tube daily, I associate with trustafarian smack heads who claim to be 'artists', my perfect Sunday is going to a so-called 'farmers market' and pay thirty quid for a string of garlic and sausages bought by the stallholders for three quid from Lidl then wrapped in brown paper from Pound land, I go to 'silent discos', I wear New Balance with skinny jeans an ironic t-shirt and suit jacket and a bobble in my hair, I cross the road if a group of black youths are going to cross my path. You ironically eat pie, mash and liquor. You think eight quid is reasonable for a pint, and twenty five quid is OK for a ticket to the non-hipster (who screen Jaws and It's a Wonderful Life) contemporary pictures.
  14. He probably cadged the hundred quid off his fat American slag mistress he paid £299m of our money for some 'phoney' job.
  15. And wear a single pink clip-on earring at your hearing. And a pink shirt, and lipstick - like Quentin Crisp. And cross your legs in an effete manner when you sit down.
  16. Claim you've just come out as being gay and your family have disowned you, hence your erratic behaviour - human resources would shit their pants, if there's no audio recordings say the rapist made homophobic comnents toward you. I used to steal comics; 2000ad, Slaine, Nemesis etc. from MarshallShop on Newport Street when I was about 12, Dunno where they are though my late mam probably binned them (when she was alive, not her ghost) she had form for binning my belongings on bin day too. Under the guise of 'tidying up' when it was actually pure menopausal spite.
  17. Will people stop writing 'did' or 'done' - it's infantile, it implies you're ticking boxes never to return, "I'm/we're going to' or 'I/we went to'...what's up with that? You 'did' Kos? So you shagged or twatted a whole island?
  18. I've wrote more pieces than you've had hot dinners, bach is Welsh for 'love' as in 'sorry, love'.
  19. Strange you say that, I wrote a screenplay and wanted Thora Hird's ghost to star in it, it was called 'I ate a Jaffa Cake I found under my computer desk'.
  20. I used to amuse myself as a kid by picking up dog-ends (when everyone smoked) peeling the orange paper off and chucking them off the North Pier when the tide was in to the skiving gulls bobbing about on the sea - the greedy twats fell for it every time and wolfed them down.
  21. I have serious reservations about Kinky John, a lot of people think Mikka Haikenenn is from Hong-Kong, he's not, he's from Finlan'.
  22. I wouldn't mind but Defeffal had only had a can of Woodpecker cider.
  23. My booze bill is anything but cheap. Normally, if in doubt I go to the throne, but climbing the stairs is like summiting K2 (the mountain not the nut ward) so I've twice let caution to the wind, it was only a tiny pipsqueek on both occasions - I've been eating Halls Extra Strong and Jakermans like Smarties, I'm oretty sure they're both rammed with Sorbitol - a laxative. I have it on good authority that the bumhole springs back quickly after a vigorous bumming.
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