Youri McAnespie

There's the tricky issue of all the staff being forbidden to speak to, or even acknowledge, Davo... I'm glad to report that's already been addressed, they can stick to the rules and avoid the wrath of our vengeful and vindictive Chairman by simply speaking to 'Little Davo' (pictured below) instead, LSKD, as he's also known, will act as intermediary between the two parties and negate the need for direct contact.

Jay Spearing wanted to nip out to Boots at half-time, to get some sunglasses and suncream for his next jaunt abroad (his flight leaves two hours after full time, and would you pay airport prices?) - apparently he ran this by Fullarton, who said no, so a players' revolt was hastily organised, and Hughes and Turner got the gig. 'Joking' aside, taking it as a given they've been badly mismanaged, we'll find out soon enough if we're in a false position due solely to this (Freedman's mismanagement) or that possibly some of his squad are; A. shithouses (wilfully underperforming), B. shit, or C. shit shithouses (dead cat bounce)... If it's the first (A.) and results improve, I guess we'd forgive their lack of character and integrity soon enough?

Carlos Chucaticup gets my vote... Anyone who could physically tw*t all of the squad one after the t'other would get my vote, thinking realisticallhy.

I just dread to think of a 'Dougie's deadwood' scenario, like with Coyle previously, and that some of these shithouses will let Freedman carry the can for everything for the foreseeable (when he's been potted).

If his ball comes out, he gets at least fifty minutes, them's the rules...

The terminally deluded may claim the League Cup 'run' makes it less shit than last season.

Almost ten games in... We're not Atalanta and the shite in this league aren't Juventus, Parma or Mee-lan... Don't let the door hit your arse on your way out. p.s. Owen Coyle, an apology - you aren't the most stubborn, clueless c*nt in the world after all.

Speaking of which, in Japan, despite it being 25c+ the Japanese aren't enjoying the sun because it's not summer anymore and the calendar doesn't lie... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-29429742

Years ago, and I mean years ago, when The Varsity first opened and they did the 'buy two glasses of wine get the bottle free' offer - I'd buy two glasses and sup the bottle (of white wine) alone, then do the same again, and sometimes again and again... It was, pound for pound, the cheapest way of getting tanked up of an afternoon, whilst maintaining the thinnest sliver of a veneer of respectability.

Where will folk get a charabanc up to the new stadium from, now? Did they ever lay one on, ever, or was it a complete and uttter myth? Like BCG mentions, it used to be heaving of a Friday lunchtime, the Breville machine must've been working into overdrive... Use them or lose them (pubs), speaking of which (again) you can now get freshly made pizzas at The Brooklyn Pub, for a mere £4.50, by the way, and where else can you have pizza accompanied by Salt and Pepper chips? Beat that for 'fusion cooking' - Belting.* * Thinly veiled ''I don't want a Madrassa in my 'manor' (as the cockcernees say)...''

Does he pop into the office block around the corner for a swift ten coffees at dinnertime?

How come? Does being a git shorten life expectancy? (only joking, they're not all gits, I bet there's one or two, literally, alreet ones).

He might be working? Imagine that, it's not beyond the realms of possibility these days, spending your working day (rather than squeezing it into lunchtimes) on the pop in the pub. If anyone comes in with about four laptops on the go, they'll definitely be 'working'...

I don't get this metal theft malarkey, granted if you're nicking big rolls of new stuff from Network Rail etc. it's probably pretty lucrative, but scratting around stripping cable and piping from derelict buildings? You'd probably earn more in paid employment than, what is after all, theft/thieving - and I presume is treated as such before the courts, why go robbing stuff worth pennies and pounds? Might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb. If I had an empty property, I'd leave a £20 taped to the wall with a note saying "Take this, leave my wiring and piping alone and f*ck off!" But they'd probably pocket the £20 and strip the house anyway (or, more likely, wouldn't be able to read the note). Speaking of which, and without starting a new thread, Aluminium flashing, to replace lead flashing covering a steel beam (nicked by pikeys at some earlier date presumably) - is it any good? It will only be secured along one length, will the weight of it alone prevent the wind lifiting it? Anyone?

Speaking of far-eastern nonceing, I walked past a bloke walking his dog t'other day - he had a grey goatee, sleeper earring and thin steel rimmed glasses - he was possibly bald but he had a beanie hat on - he looked the spit of Gadd/Glitter, I had to do a double take... Who in their right mind would be rocking that look? Why has nobody told him? Well, I'm telling you now, if you walk your dog on the old Bolton-Eccles railway line/cycle path, near Lever Edge and fit that description, have a serious think about a change of image. I've mentioned it on here before, but there was some old bloke who used to ape Savile's dress sense living around town, he's had the good sense to change his style since the monster was posthumously unmasked - again though, why would you dress like a definite suspect in the first place, I always thought Savile was a wrong-un (as did 94.7% of everyone else).

Sad indeed, where are the local workers going to get their lunches of cheese and ham toasties and four pints of Stella now? Speaking of these fires going on round the town of late, I was at Toolstation yesterday, couldn't help but notice someone had accessed Churchills by force since the last time I passed, what are the odds that's the next one to go up in smoke? (I realise this reads really dodgily and makes me a prime suspect ) If it (The Cattle Market) hadn't already been earmarked for demolition, you'd think there was something more fishy than simple arson going on...

I'd take a 'bumbling along doing shite until they realise they really could be relegated and produce a string of playoff form results to stay up' Dougie Freedman type of season... (again, being wildly optimistic.)

Being wildly optimistic, 0-0. 13/1 at BetVictor btw.

If we're talking historical sex-nonceing, who would you finger? I reckon' Captain (cap tin?) Cook, I watched a telly programme about him last neet, he couldn't wait to literally (probably) bugger off back to sea after spending about two seconds home on land with his wife. I'll bet the cabin boys on his ships could've sat atop the mast like a pencil rubber, keeping watch, they'd been bummed by Cook so frequently.

You'd hope they were night workers, but probably not. They did promise 'continental' style drinking with the relaxing of licensing laws, it's nowt to see a Frenchman have a snifter in his coffee first thing, similarly a Spaniard with a caña, even the italians might have a grappa - on their respective ways to or from work. As a somewhat related aside, day-night reversal (of sleeping patterns) is a common feature of acute liver disease (specifically the effect on the brain, via the blood not being 'filtered' of nasties like ammonia by the liver efficiently - hepatic encephalopathy.) I was in Wetherspoons for a normal breakfast t'other week, there was an old couple with bags of shopping and a pint apiece, at 8:30am - they both looked rosy cheeked and happy as larry - I thought ''Those that sup together, stay together..."

They go out every night, well you would an' all if you had a box room in a shared hovel to the tune of £300 a week, you'd need to go out and get mindless pissed every neet to take your mind off the accommodation situation - Fact.

Dave 'Harry' Fred Bassett?

Only un-hip northern monkeys wear adidas trainers, don't you know?

apple gadgets in stitching up their own users shocker...

http://www.fetcheveryone.com/userpics/42054.jpg