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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

Scotland


anewman

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He wants a bite so I'll give him one.. I'm bored

 

Scotland have a skilled and proficient and resourceful population who aren't only capable of drinking 20 pints a night but have the ability of having sex with sheep at will

 

We turn the ability of being ginger into an artform...and are proud of it!!

 

Our national hero, a Mr Nisbet is a role model, his sartorial elegance is famed within the string vest wearing population.., a true icon.

 

Our football team is second to none in the cause of glorious failure, we beat everyone hands down. as far as failure goes, scotland are the best, especially our goalkeepers.,

 

Our cuisine is envied for both it's creativity and healthiness... Deep fried Mars Bars are something to be savoured.

 

Our national poet, an alcoholic called Robert Burns is remembered on Jan 25th each year by his countrymen filling a dead sheeps offal with sweepings off the floor washed down with paint stripper. We think so much of this delicacy that we strangle a cat when it is being delivered to the table

 

We are very loyal and consistent with our marriage ethics, we beat our wives every Friday without fail

 

Our international relations are second to none.. we will strive to fuck up anything South of Gretna at every opportunity.

 

Our fashion industry is thriving, all be it with limited diversity, as long as it is a checked pattern put onto skirts for men to wear we are World beaters

 

We pride ourselves of being the kindest, good hearted people in the World,... that's as long as you don't want any money.. We are very poor people, you understand

 

We all turn out every weekend in our thousands to watch the best sport of all time... we cut a tree down and trim the branches off and see who can make it turn over in a straight line.. awesome ... that caber is to be admired.

 

 

 

 

I don;t think i've missed anything but if i have feel free to tell me

 

I love being Scottish

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Not to forget the delightful micro breweries of Edinburgh.

 

Years ago almost every top 1st division side had at least one top scotish player, Man U had many. They were then a decent football nation but have gradually slumped since those days. I firmly believe the lack of weekly competition in the SPL is the reason the league is poor. When a scotch side comes up against a decent outfit from abroad they struggle. Only recently Spurs gave Hearts a thumping.

 

We don`t need to look far back to remember our Scotish hero`s, Andy Walker then Super John.

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Not to forget the delightful micro breweries of Edinburgh.

 

Years ago almost every top 1st division side had at least one top scotish player, Man U had many. They were then a decent football nation but have gradually slumped since those days. I firmly believe the lack of weekly competition in the SPL is the reason the league is poor. When a scotch side comes up against a decent outfit from abroad they struggle. Only recently Spurs gave Hearts a thumping.

 

We don`t need to look far back to remember our Scotish hero`s, Andy Walker then Super John.

 

god Beerswiller don't let the truth and realism come into the equation

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He wants a bite so I'll give him one.. I'm bored

 

Scotland have a skilled and proficient and resourceful population who aren't only capable of drinking 20 pints a night but have the ability of having sex with sheep at will

 

We turn the ability of being ginger into an artform...and are proud of it!!

 

Our national hero, a Mr Nisbet is a role model, his sartorial elegance is famed within the string vest wearing population.., a true icon.

 

Our football team is second to none in the cause of glorious failure, we beat everyone hands down. as far as failure goes, scotland are the best, especially our goalkeepers.,

 

Our cuisine is envied for both it's creativity and healthiness... Deep fried Mars Bars are something to be savoured.

 

Our national poet, an alcoholic called Robert Burns is remembered on Jan 25th each year by his countrymen filling a dead sheeps offal with sweepings off the floor washed down with paint stripper. We think so much of this delicacy that we strangle a cat when it is being delivered to the table

 

We are very loyal and consistent with our marriage ethics, we beat our wives every Friday without fail

 

Our international relations are second to none.. we will strive to fuck up anything South of Gretna at every opportunity.

 

Our fashion industry is thriving, all be it with limited diversity, as long as it is a checked pattern put onto skirts for men to wear we are World beaters

 

We pride ourselves of being the kindest, good hearted people in the World,... that's as long as you don't want any money.. We are very poor people, you understand

 

We all turn out every weekend in our thousands to watch the best sport of all time... we cut a tree down and trim the branches off and see who can make it turn over in a straight line.. awesome ... that caber is to be admired.

 

 

 

 

I don;t think i've missed anything but if i have feel free to tell me

 

I love being Scottish

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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As I'm 50% scotch, I'll have a nibble.

 

Telephone, Television, Penicillin, The fridge, flushing toilet, Whisky.

 

A small selection of Scottish inventions that one or two of us may use occasionally.

 

Scotland would probably manage in its own.

 

 

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The bicycle

 

Tarmac

 

Alcoholism

 

Sectarianism

 

pneumatic tyres

 

Fax machine (invented in Dumfries)

 

Golf

 

Most of the important bridges in England in the 19th century

 

Marmalade

 

Penicillin

 

Paraffin

 

Quinine

 

Thermos Flask

 

Your fuckin English hero detective Sherlock holmes was invented by a Scot, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

 

The Steam Engine

 

Even fuckin Peter Pan

 

The US Navy

 

No you're right, we are all fuckwits and always have been

 

 

 

 

need I go on?

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The bicycle was invented by a man called Kirkpatrick McMillan in a village about 3 miles from where i was born called Keir

 

Why he had 2 surnames i'm not sure

 

The workshop he invented it in later became a school that my father taught in until he had to retire from ill health at the age of 45

 

Semi-interesting fact

Edited by jazza
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