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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

Seagull Defence....


gonzo

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Nowt wrong with seagulls.One flew over us once on a supermarket car park an shit on the missus.Straight across her face an down the back of her specs,funniest thing I've ever seen."Eeeewww it smells"she says,"It fcukin will do ,its SHIT"I said.A couple across from us who witnessed it literally THREW their shopping in the car jumped inside and pissed themselves laughing.All I had for her to clean it off was an oily rag out the boot.It even went in her mouth.The fcuker actually squawked as it fired it out so it must have been a bad 'un.Wife didn't really see the funny side of it for some reason!

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  • 11 months later...

After a bit of a quiet spell on the violence,I'm afraid to say the fuckers are back.

 

Back with a vengeance.

 

Me and the pooch just came under fire during an evening stroll as a gang of them surrounded us and attacked from all angles.

 

My poor dog is petrified here.

 

Who is up for a bit of a detour on Saturday?

 

Hush hush like.

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You want to try and sleep through a load of wood pigeons shagging away. Jesus they don't half make some noise rustling around in the trees up to rumpy pumpy

I ended up shutting the window in a temper Saturday night. My friend thinks it's much quainter than the sound of car alarms and drunks but that's not the point!

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You want to try and sleep through a load of wood pigeons shagging away. Jesus they don't half make some noise rustling around in the trees up to rumpy pumpy!

We've got some living in one of the trees in our back garden, noisy and randy as fuck they are! They were even shagging on the back lawn the other day.

 

They can't get enough of it wood pigeons

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  • 8 months later...

The bastards are back and yet again no fucker has prepared.

 

Nesting season seems to have approached early this year.

 

I saw one of the beasts actually peck through the lid of big grey bin outside my brothers house this morning.

 

No fucking about trying to lift it, bosh! It just pecked through the lid tore it to pieces then shouted for all its mates to come and feast on what appeared to be chilli con-carne and used tea bags.

 

Bastard seagulls coming here taking our jobs.

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The bastards are back and yet again no fucker has prepared.

 

Nesting season seems to have approached early this year.

 

I saw one of the beasts actually peck through the lid of big grey bin outside my brothers house this morning.

 

No fucking about trying to lift it, bosh! It just pecked through the lid tore it to pieces then shouted for all its mates to come and feast on what appeared to be chilli con-carne and used tea bags.

 

Bastard seagulls coming here taking our jobs.

I love you. Even if you're a bottleless bastard :D

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