Site Supporter superjohnmcginlay Posted October 1, 2013 Site Supporter Share Posted October 1, 2013 Come on lets have some... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomski Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 When does a chinese man go to the dentist? tooth hurty. What do you call a chinese man with a camera? Phil Ming. I'll get my coat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny G Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Me: When i finger i Bird it smells like Fish Diddles: when i finger a Bird it smells like Pigeon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Magoo Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 The teacher asked Jimmy,Why is your cat at school today Jimmy, Jimmy replied crying, Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomski Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 (edited) What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalodofpuss. what do you call an Asian in the microwave? Piding what do you call a pair of Asian gayers? Rammit & jammit. Edited October 1, 2013 by tomski Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 CLAIM CLAIM CLAIM! Were you abused by a celebrity in the seventies or eighties? Did Jim fix it for you? Where you one of Rolf's two little boys? Did you get serviced in Kevin Webster's garage? Remember where there's a stain, there's a claim! Simply text MYARSEISSTILLSORE .. To 81300 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 My girlfriend has just left me due to my obsession with slade. Oh well,i suppose it's gud'buy to Jane then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 I walked in the kitchen to find my wife on the floor after drinking a full bottle of windowlene. She was clearly dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter White on Tyne Posted October 1, 2013 Site Supporter Share Posted October 1, 2013 David Beckham gets into a London taxi and he sees the driver looking at him in the rear view mirror. After about 5 minutes the driver says "OK give me a clue" Beckham says "I had a glittering career at Manchester United, played in America and got over a 100 caps for England, is that enough?" Driver says "No you thick twat, where do you want to go?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Two black men on horseback and wearing suits of armour rode past my house last night. I thought hello the knights are getting darker. It's not racists by the way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 I walked in the kitchen to find my wife on the floor after drinking a full bottle of windowlene. She was clearly dead. this has made me proper titter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Did you hear about the kid that drowned in a bowl of musli? He got swept out by the current. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgywheel Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 An oldie but Goodie, I was in bed having sex with my Chinese wife, when i'd finished i commented on how baggy her fanny was getting, she went crazy and asked "Why are you always Clittysizing" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 I was in a Chinese Resteraunt the other night and told the waitress "this chicken is rubbery" She replied "aaa thank you very much" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I've just downloaded a Joe Hart screensaver for my laptop. And now i can't save anything Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Man united are to be renamed port talbot as they are currently in between Cardiff and Swansea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darwen_white Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I know an alcoholic lesbian - She likes a good liqueur. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pablo Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 (edited) Dodgywheel - I can not read any of your posts, my eye will not move away from your avatar. Beltin. Edited October 3, 2013 by Pablo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farnworth white Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 BEWARE: Not sure if this is a scam but I received a text saying I had won £500 or an evening to an Elvis Tribute, it said...Press 1 for the money or 2 for the show!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 A woman is lay on all fours with spunk dripping out of her arse and both corners of her mouth. What does this tell you? Your floor is level... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 What do you call a vicar on a motorbike? Rev. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 Police reports from America are suggesting that Elvis didn't die from a drugs overdose after all. Apparently he was found dead at Gracelands attempting to get out through the little door used by the cat. A police statement read "He's caught in a flap, he can't walk out" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 Did you hear about Elvis the mouse?? He was caught in a trap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DazBob Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 A friend of mine, Matthew, went into a shop today and said, "I'd like a jar of nectar, a blanket and a cuddly toy bear."The shopkeeper bagged it all up and asked for the cash, but Matt said, "Ah, sorry pal, I've left my money at home."The shopkeeper sighed and said, "Look, if you cut my lawn...we'll call it quits.""That sounds like a raw deal", Matt grunted. "How much was everything?" "In pounds...well, it's one for the honey, two for the throw, three to get teddy now mow, Matt, mow!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 Daily Mirror - "Januzaj can play for England" The Sun - "Januzaj can play for England" Daily Express - "Januzaj can play for England" Daily Mail - "Mass influx of foreign youths threatens England National Team" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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