bgoefc Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 I had to peel some sweet potatoes yesterday, so bought a new paring knife as they are hard skinned fuckers. The handle was protruding from the sealed plastic packaging, so I simply yanked it to force the blade through it. It passed through the plastic and into the meaty part of the palm of my other hand, resulting in a grinning 1 1/2 inch deep gash. I've not had any stitches for 45 years but as I sat in the brand new A & E in Burnley receiving 9 deep stitches, I strangely found it quite relaxing and therapeutic as I watched the stitches pulling the edges of flesh together. Anyone else found theirselves enjoying somat that simply doesn't make sense? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little whitt Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 I had to peel some sweet potatoes yesterday, so bought a new paring knife as they are hard skinned fuckers. The handle was protruding from the sealed plastic packaging, so I simply yanked it to force the blade through it. It passed through the plastic and into the meaty part of the palm of my other hand, resulting in a grinning 1 1/2 inch deep gash. I've not had any stitches for 45 years but as I sat in the brand new A & E in Burnley receiving 9 deep stitches, I strangely found it quite relaxing and therapeutic as I watched the stitches pulling the edges of flesh together. Anyone else found theirselves enjoying somat that simply doesn't make sense? pervert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pablo Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Erm....what happened to the sweet spuds ?? Who cooked ?? What wer you cooking ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Spuds, deep gash !!! It all sounds a bit filthy to me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Snuf Porn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L/H White Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 I watched my toe get snapped back into place, that was enjoyable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 I fell off a cliff face once, broke my fall with some pine trees, tore my upper arm open really bad and, being in the arse end of nowhere, had to stitch the wound myself without anathesthetic - that really smarted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judge Fudge Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 http://youtu.be/xD0oZvnb628 Had this done when I was younger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Cheese Posted August 28, 2014 Site Supporter Share Posted August 28, 2014 (edited) I fell off a cliff face once, broke my fall with some pine trees, tore my upper arm open really bad and, being in the arse end of nowhere, had to stitch the wound myself without anathesthetic - that really smarted. Did you bite your little finger off and sharpen the bone on a rock to use as a needle, then use your own pubic hairs as thread? Edited August 28, 2014 by Cheese Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 No, I had the kit in the handle of my knife, where've you been, Mars? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Back in the real world, I have removed my own stitches and cannulae though. That doesn't make me big, hard or clever either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bgoefc Posted August 28, 2014 Author Share Posted August 28, 2014 Erm....what happened to the sweet spuds ?? Who cooked ?? What wer you cooking ?? Dowter took over whilst i drove to A &E with half a roll of paper towel wrapped around me left hand. Healthy sheperds pie with sweet potato mashed topping. Was toppo when i eventually got a plate last night. Judge, the wifey had that sinus operation back in the early nineties and she concurs that the removal of the cotton wool buds was more painful than the 30 hrs of childbirth she went through. The pisser is that for her, the relief that the operation provided only lasted 5 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Back to learning procedures, such as putting in sutures, to do yourself, this book comes highly recommended. http://www.amazon.com/Rambos-Nursing-Skills-Clinical-Practice/dp/072163642X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zulu Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 pervert This has got to be the lowest it gets for any human being. Being called a pervert by LW. Wow, just wow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captainmed Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Bet none of you lot have ever had to have your helmet stitched back together. Believe me, that isn't therapeutic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Didledee Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 http://youtu.be/xD0oZvnb628 Had this done when I was younger Da Hell! Broken nose? where did it all go? in his brain!?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 (edited) There's a few who've undergone the knife for snapped banjo iirc. Personally, the worst part was, well there were a few, but 'he' knew what was coming and shrivelled up like a hedgehog in front of a dog, the all female assistant team had probably heard my ''It's cold out'' about a hundred times an' all - it was a lonely walk to the operating table, in those midget foam slippers and arse bared to the world, then I find out the woman who was supposed to be doing the deed, a venerated surgeon, is talking some nervous looking asian lad (around my then age, late twenties) through doing it. The point of bandaging it after was lost on me, but I even went into work afterward and out for a night out later, midway through which the painkillers finally wore off, ouch. Didn't have a decent sh*g for months after, and this contributed in no small amount to my girlfriend at the time giving me the flick. Still, all's well that (nob) ends well. Edited August 28, 2014 by Youri McAnespie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smiffs Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 I love the word "gash" in a naughty back of the class giggling schoolboy kind of way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolton_blondie Posted August 29, 2014 Members Share Posted August 29, 2014 Da Hell! Broken nose? where did it all go? in his brain!?!? Your nose and your throat is all connected. Your nasal passage is actually quite deep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolty58 Posted August 29, 2014 Members Share Posted August 29, 2014 Your nose and your throat is all connected. Your nasal passage is actually quite deep You haven't met Dids have you? All this 'your' business. I can tell you that his nose is connected to Lionel Messi's rectum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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