desert Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 i have just tried to let a little fart out and shit my self. am i on my own here or has this happned to others? i'm sat in the office by the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted October 23, 2014 Site Supporter Share Posted October 23, 2014 Go to the desk of someone you don't like Grab a piece of important looking paperwork Wipe your shitty arse on it than rub the lot into their desk. It's the ONLY option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desert Posted October 23, 2014 Author Share Posted October 23, 2014 decisions decisions! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigtoe Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 i have just tried to let a little fart out and shit my self. am i on my own here or has this happned to others? i'm sat in the office by the way. Haha been there got the t shirt. Clench buttocks and shuffle to the trap. Leave grundies in the cistern and make paper ones using hand towels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter superjohnmcginlay Posted October 23, 2014 Site Supporter Share Posted October 23, 2014 whip the strides down and do a dog style arse wiping around the office Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tylswhite Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 A guy I used to work did this once but not at work. He was at home sat next to his wife on the couch They are no longer together!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Carlos Posted October 23, 2014 Moderators Share Posted October 23, 2014 Haha been there got the t shirt. Clench buttocks and shuffle to the trap. Leave grundies in the cistern and make paper ones using hand towels. Can you not make some from bogroll, just keep spinning round, then a couple of tucks round the bollocks? Bit like a mummy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Put soiled grundies in someone's desk drawer. Preferably someone sitting near a radiator. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L/H White Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 i have just tried to let a little fart out and shit my self. am i on my own here or has this happned to others? i'm sat in the office by the way. Whitt's defo shit himself before, I think he used a lemon floor wipe to mop it up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desert Posted October 23, 2014 Author Share Posted October 23, 2014 i have tried rubbing it with a bloon, but its just made it worse and now i have a balloon covered in biley shite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DazBob Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Whitt's defo shit himself before, I think he used a lemon floor wipe to mop it up Aye, and the dog licked it up off the floor while it was still warm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Carlos Posted October 23, 2014 Moderators Share Posted October 23, 2014 Can't decide who is worse, the alpha male types that barge into the bogs and immediately park their farty arse or the geeky type who timidly edges into the bogs and tries to skulk into trap no.1 without anyone noticing them then waits until the rest of the bogs are empty before unloading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Those who sit in the middle bog listening to us blokes makes thrutching one out a bit harder, kinky fcukers. A bit like the above post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not in Crawley Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 We have one bog. 13 staff. 2 blokes. I use up so much air freshener. Do ladies not shit at work or something? Its sometimes the only thing that keeps me awake in that afternoon 3-4 slump. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweep Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 I had to have a shit at a motorway services the other day. That was awful. At our offices, we've got a blokes and a ladies bogs as you would expect. There is also one at the far end of the office that is called "The En-Suite" and that's the one that folk use when they know that a stinker is coming out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 We have one bog. 13 staff. 2 blokes. I use up so much air freshener. Do ladies not shit at work or something? Its sometimes the only thing that keeps me awake in that afternoon 3-4 slump. only if I'm poorly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted October 24, 2014 Site Supporter Share Posted October 24, 2014 Our bogs are like The Somme Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter barryk32 Posted October 24, 2014 Site Supporter Share Posted October 24, 2014 I was having a terrible day once when I worked at the CSA. In the end I just thought fuck it, walked out and went home. Next day my boss expectedly pulls me in an says "You vanished yesterday, nobody could find you, what happened" I quick as a flash told him I'd shit myself..... He just looked at me blank and went "Oh... erm.... um.... ok, dont worry I'll sort it". Never mentioned again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little whitt Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 was on my way somewere other day felt one comeing so nipped in sainsburys fuck me when the door is surt there is a 50mm gap and people washing there hands can see you WTF was a shit and dash no choice as my cutters are not what thet were Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 I was having a terrible day once when I worked at the CSA. In the end I just thought fuck it, walked out and went home. Next day my boss expectedly pulls me in an says "You vanished yesterday, nobody could find you, what happened" I quick as a flash told him I'd shit myself..... He just looked at me blank and went "Oh... erm.... um.... ok, dont worry I'll sort it". Never mentioned again. Genius - they'd not want to press it for fear of further detail, I doubt they'd question it's authenticity as an excuse either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DazBob Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 (edited) Shat myself at work? Never. Outside of work? Once or twice. Jazza's in Peterborough was a belter. Edited October 24, 2014 by DazBob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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