clown Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 Mick Hucknall's the latest to be done for a sex scandal - he's been caught having sex with a rabbit. The coppers found him holding back the ears singing bunny's too tight to mention. This is the only joke I remember when drunk. I need some new material. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 I can't believe MR58 hasn't furnished this thread with some of his top drawer jokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Faustus Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 what's orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot love that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 What's brown and sticky? A stick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 A man walks into a cake shop and asks for a dead wasp. "I'm sorry, we don't sell dead wasps!" "Well, you've got some in the window." Utter shite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Bock Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 A Mexican magician tells his audience that he's going to disappear on the count of three. He began counting "Uno, dos..." and then *Poof* He disappeared without a tres! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anewman Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 England cricket team Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesRight Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 What's black and screams Stevie wonder answering the iron He got a cheese grater for Xmas this year. Said it's the most violent book he's ever read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevieb Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 He got a cheese grater for Xmas this year. Said it's the most violent book he's ever read. Have you seen his wife though? (no) Neither has he. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birch-chorley Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 Got to love a good stevie wonder gag What does Stevie Wonder's wife do when they have a fight? Re arrange the furniture Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kent_white Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 What's the difference between a slag and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter White on Tyne Posted March 17, 2015 Site Supporter Share Posted March 17, 2015 I bought my daughter a Russian Doll on one of my travels. She said she hates it as it's a bit full of itself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Did you hear about the Irishman who put a condom on the wrong way and went !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frank_spencer Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Always followed (by me at least), "Where's your buccaneers ?" "Side of me buccanhead". Har - har (etc). How much do pirates earings cost? About a buccaneer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superbobby Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isaacunt Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 (edited) My mate came into work the other day smiling away like a cheshire cat, I said why you so fuckin happy. he says " you know I have to cross the train lines on the way to work, well I found a young woman tied to the lines, so I untied her & shagged the fcukin arse off her; Bloody hell I says " did she give you a blow job, & he says O'n no I couldn't find her head!!!! Bum bum I'll get mi coat Toodles Edited March 24, 2015 by isaacunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
green genie Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 There are 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorpey Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 I'm best mates with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I missed my appointment at the Constipation Clinic yesterday. I just couldn't go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HR Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I got invited to the premature ejaculation society annual dinner. I asked if it was lounge suit or black tie and they said 'just come in your pants like the rest of us' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famouswanderer Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Ive just been told this joke which is fucking awful but for some reason made me laugh. There were two cows in a field. One cow said "moo" and the other said "i was about to say that" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Jonathan Ross was arrested yesterday for stealing a kitchen utensil from Tesco. Apparently. he thought it was a whisk worth taking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Zico Posted March 25, 2015 Moderators Share Posted March 25, 2015 jeremy beadles got a small cock but on the other hand its massive Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 jeremy beadles got a small cock but on the other hand its massive One of my favourites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I taught my Dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground. We went from Barking to Tooting in about an hour Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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