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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

Ant Infestation


Danny G

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Boil your kettle and scald/drown the c*nts...If you do the nest, which should be easy enough to deduce, all the larvae/grubs will float out.

 

Hoover them up then empty it at the end of the garden, if you're feeling humane.

 

Repeat and eventually you'll be rid, chemicals free, unless you get E'd up to do it.

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I bought this ant trap thingy where the ants walked over it and took some sort of hallucagenic substance back to the nest. Then the ants all go apeshit and eat each other.

 

Worked a treat. Might be a bit freaky if your dog starts hallucinating though

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Smear jam all over your floors.

 

The ants will initially increase in number but after a while, and in the absence of an ant doctor or dietician, they will eat all the jam and develop diabetes.

 

This will destroy morale and community spirit leading to a nest wide lethargy, resulting in the eventual and inevitable departure of the queen.

 

Those ants not riddled with gout and insulin dependence will follow the queen whilst the rest are left to die slowly under your fridge.

 

Needs to be damson jam.

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Watch them for a while, they're fascinating. I did this whilst lay on a hotel floor in Gran Canaria 20 odd years ago & was transfixed. The fact I probably couldn't get up & was off my head may've added to the excitement so maybe try that too for the full experience.

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On a serious note, phone pest control at the council 01204-336553 and ask them what's that white stuff they use. It looks like milk and does the job, you spray it on the outside of your house where any holes are in brickwork, but the dog does need to be kept away for a few hours. You'll not get them for years after :)

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There are Millions of the little fuckers everywhere in my house, How do i get rid without poisoning my Dog at the same time?

 

Pour petrol/turps over the area they seem to frequent most, and then chuck a match on. That'll get rid of them.

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