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Election 2019

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Lad in my year at school and a good mate of mine. Used to be in the bottom set with all our Asian brethren and Gypsies. Thick as a brick. 
 

Became a millionaire by time he was 19. Now runs two very successful businesses and has properties all over the show and villas in Cyprus and Spain.  

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Bloke used to come supping in The Brooklyn, told me once he'd been kicked out of nursery school for mixing all the block paints up into one shade of dirty green...he never returned.

He'd always land (yes, land, in a solid gold helicopter) in the car park half an hour before last orders, he'd buy himself a pint of Diamond with Holt's whisky chaser and the entire pub a drink - paying each time with a bar of gold bullion.

His name? Sir Richard 'motorboat'  Branson.

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3 hours ago, Youri McAnespie said:

Bloke used to come supping in The Brooklyn, told me once he'd been kicked out of nursery school for mixing all the block paints up into one shade of dirty green...he never returned.

He'd always land (yes, land, in a solid gold helicopter) in the car park half an hour before last orders, he'd buy himself a pint of Diamond with Holt's whisky chaser and the entire pub a drink - paying each time with a bar of gold bullion.

His name? Sir Richard 'motorboat'  Branson.

You're full of shit.

 

Everyone knows Branson used to drink in the Alma.

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That's bollocks - he stopped going in The Alma when they built that big JJB store - it encroached so much onto the World of Fashion' carpark that his chopper would no longer fit...

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9 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

That's bollocks - he stopped going in The Alma when they built that big JJB store - it encroached so much onto the World of Fashion' carpark that his chopper would no longer fit...

Knob

He used to land softly on the roof in his hot air balloon. He'd barrel roll in through the back door, have a gallon of Burtonwood "Top Hat" bitter & 6 bottles of Newcastle Brown. He'd put Ozzy Osbourne's No More Tears on the jukebox on repeat for the duration. 

Once his thirst was slaked, he would fix on his gaze on the most Goth female in the bar, and entice her into his wicker basket with a packet of incense sticks and a bumper edition of Eyeliner Monthly. Then they'd float off into the night sky, her eyes wide with lust as he revealed his forked penis.

 

Edited by Spider

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8 hours ago, athywhite1958 said:

I achieved my Masters in Business Management at the ripe old age of 53, not worth the paper it's written on

If the takeover thread taught us anything it's that you can't lord it up over everyone with your MBA until you have the requisite 6 years experience in industry. 

 

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2 hours ago, Spider said:

Knob

He used to land softly on the roof in his hot air balloon. He'd barrel roll in through the back door, have a gallon of Burtonwood "Top Hat" bitter & 6 bottles of Newcastle Brown. He'd put Ozzy Osbourne's No More Tears on the jukebox on repeat for the duration. 

Once his thirst was slaked, he would fix on his gaze on the most Goth female in the bar, and entice her into his wicker basket with a packet of incense sticks and a bumper edition of Eyeliner Monthly. Then they'd float off into the night sky, her eyes wide with lust as he revealed his forked penis.

 

I'll have  a pint of whatever it is you're on cockers! :good:

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6 minutes ago, stevieb said:

If the takeover thread taught us anything it's that you can't lord it up over everyone with your MBA until you have the requisite 6 years experience in industry. 

 

Absolutely spot on.

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12 hours ago, mickbrown said:

I've already told my nipper to go and to do whatever course she wants, be it medicine, law, marine biology or history of peruvian pan pipes.

End of the day it's about so much more than just getting a qualification.

Agree with this. I studied law at uni and followed it through to a career in law. I earn a decent living and have a respectable profession. But to this day I wish I’d done geography at uni, which interested me more. Would have loved to have a job where I travelled the world mooching around glaciers and volcanoes. 

 

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I wish I'd gone to Uni. I'd have walked it, but chose to go down the Apprenticeship route instead - probably because of my upbringing. I love my job and got great qualifications out of it whilst earning good money, but feel like I missed out on something that most of my school mates look back on as a brilliant time in their lives. All of them have very good careers now too. 

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43 minutes ago, Cheese said:

I wish I'd gone to Uni. I'd have walked it, but chose to go down the Apprenticeship route instead - probably because of my upbringing. I love my job and got great qualifications out of it whilst earning good money, but feel like I missed out on something that most of my school mates look back on as a brilliant time in their lives. All of them have very good careers now too. 

Good to see you were willing to do your bit for the environment 

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15 hours ago, Escobarp said:

Seen this on twatter. Do these people live on a different planet to us? Obviously this view is shared by a number of folk on here as well but seriously wtf

3A2C89CB-E5D2-4CC1-A86D-8E5779B64302.jpeg

Tis the way of the left mate. You can see the same shit from the Democrats in the US, certainly the red rags in the UK and down here.

Think it through. Left leaning political 'Valhalla's' have been decimated over the last few decades and shown to be the prisons they truly are or were. The most recent being Venezuela - has Brother Jeremy finally ditched his adulation or is he still clinging on the hope that this socialist utopia will survive?

It then becomes more understandable. The more desperate they get, the more hysterical the language becomes and the tricks dirtier. They are trying to cling on to any hold they may have and it's no holds barred. Anyone who disagrees with them is now a 'nazi', a xenophobe or 'ultra right'. They still haven't realised that the more you peddle out this utterly stupid, baseless and somewhat childish insults, the less impact they have.

The ultimate hypocrisy is that they then plead for a 'toning down of the language' in the poiltical diatribe. One rule for them but the rest of have to be sweethearts and attack them only with feather dusters.

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5 hours ago, Cheese said:

I wish I'd gone to Uni. I'd have walked it, but chose to go down the Apprenticeship route instead - probably because of my upbringing. I love my job and got great qualifications out of it whilst earning good money, but feel like I missed out on something that most of my school mates look back on as a brilliant time in their lives. All of them have very good careers now too. 

Sure you would, but I generally think it is better to get out into the real world soonest

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3 hours ago, boltondiver said:

Sure you would, but I generally think it is better to get out into the real world soonest

When he said 'walked it' I am sure he meant it literally. Is there a Uni in Euxton?

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13 minutes ago, bolty58 said:

When he said 'walked it' I am sure he meant it literally. Is there a Uni in Euxton?

I assumed, incorrectly, as a screeching remainer he must have at least one degree, possibly a doctorate, from some lofty college at Oxbridge.

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Latest polls pointing to a 100 plus Tory majority. 

Edited by Mounts Kipper

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6 minutes ago, Mounts Kipper said:

Latest polls pointing to a 100 plus Tory majority. 

Now! That’s what I call a Christmas Present

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34 minutes ago, boltondiver said:

I assumed, incorrectly, as a screeching remainer he must have at least one degree, possibly a doctorate, from some lofty college at Oxbridge.

You aren't mixing this up with a diploma he received from Lofty the Lion at Euxton?

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11 minutes ago, Mounts Kipper said:

Latest polls pointing to a 100 plus Tory majority. 

You'd hope that would "get Brexit done" wouldn't you.....

I'd be amazed if it was that big a victory, he'll win, but surely not by so much.

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Summat that from experience doesn't seem to be mentioned much at schools is that if you can go and do an apprenticeship and go to uni after it because level 3 and 4 give you UCAS points.

We had a good lad do his level 3 with us and he started his level 4 but we encouraged him to consider uni, he applied and got an unconditional offer because of the points he had and he graduated this year and started a decent job.

 

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2 minutes ago, bolty58 said:

You aren't mixing this up with a diploma he received from Lofty the Lion at Euxton?

The way he talks down to us, surely not!?

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1 minute ago, Sweep said:

You'd hope that would "get Brexit done" wouldn't you.....

I'd be amazed if it was that big a victory, he'll win, but surely not by so much.

Not a chance will there be a majority of that scale. But he will win and quite comfortably too 
 

thing that strikes me again is despite people labeling him a buffoon he’s playing a blinder and all the crap I’m seeing is the other parties shooting themselves in the foot. He’s just quietly going about his business. 

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6 minutes ago, Sweep said:

You'd hope that would "get Brexit done" wouldn't you.....

I'd be amazed if it was that big a victory, he'll win, but surely not by so much.

Whatever the majority it is the 3rd time the public will have sent the message loud and clear to government. 

Edited by Mounts Kipper

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4 hours ago, boltondiver said:

Sure you would, but I generally think it is better to get out into the real world soonest

The real world? So the folks that develop drugs to cure diseases who work in Universities - they aren't part of the real world?

Load of Chris Finch's on here. 

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4 minutes ago, boltondiver said:

The way he talks down to us, surely not!?

Come on play nice. As I’ve said he looks physically that he’s a “few seats short of a majority “ to use a topical terminology.  
 

i don’t think our resident hard man can actually help the shite that spills out of his drunken (I’m assuming it must be) mouth. 

Edited by Escobarp

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