madthatter Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 At the risk of sounding like Bernard Manning what's the crack with 'em?! I have a 2 week old baby and each time she's round, which is frequently, she basically insinuates I do fook all - 'well, could he not do this . . . could he not do that . . ?' Bar growing a pair of milking tits I really don't see what else I can do . . . it's getting right on my . . . er . . . tits Is this the norm? 'cos she's going the right way for a massive kick in the fanny if this carries on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter only1swanny Posted September 17, 2016 Site Supporter Share Posted September 17, 2016 yes... you get used to it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madthatter Posted September 17, 2016 Author Share Posted September 17, 2016 yes... you get used to it Not the answer I wanted, Swanny What's that bit from Pulp Fiction . . . "I'm like a Mushroom cloud" or something: Ah here goes Sums my feelings up quite nicely Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Biggish Dave Posted September 17, 2016 Site Supporter Share Posted September 17, 2016 My mother in law is ace - don't see much of her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boby Brno Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 I get on well with my mother in law but had a few problems with my ex's. After getting married first rime round, we moved from L/H to Adlington. Whenever the Salford Dragon visited, she used to bring her own kettle full of water to make a cup of tea because the water was different! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jules_darby Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 I get on well with my mother in law but had a few problems with my ex's. After getting married first rime round, we moved from L/H to Adlington. Whenever the Salford Dragon visited, she used to bring her own kettle full of water to make a cup of tea because the water was different! Wonder what she'd take on holiday? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bgoefc Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 At the risk of sounding like Bernard Manning what's the crack with 'em?! I have a 2 week old baby and each time she's round, which is frequently, she basically insinuates I do fook all - 'well, could he not do this . . . could he not do that . . ?' Bar growing a pair of milking tits I really don't see what else I can do . . . it's getting right on my . . . er . . . tits Is this the norm? 'cos she's going the right way for a massive kick in the fanny if this carries on! Mine was great and treated me like a second son. Died over twenty years ago, miss her loads. However, the rest of my siblings and mates ended up with the proverbial dragon, according to them, the "kick in the fanny" is the default solution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 My mother in law is like a little mouse and honestly can't enough for the kids. I've known her 14 years and she still asks me if she can take her coat off in my house haha On the other hand my mum is slightly psychotic and could cause a riot in a phone box. I pick the kids up from my mums and it's like picking two lads up from creamfields at chucking out time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madthatter Posted September 17, 2016 Author Share Posted September 17, 2016 (edited) I pick the kids up from my mums and it's like picking two lads up from creamfields at chucking out time. My Mum used to be like that but has mellowed some what in recent years; plus I live away now so see her infrequently which is also a plus Sorry, Mum! To be fair she's being a lot worse at the moment which is understandable I suppose - but I wont have much patience if this carries on. Actually, no, she's been getting on my nerves for ages. I play golf most Sundays and every time I get back mid pm she's there - usually doing some chore or other with an accusatory look of "You should be doing this . . or giving it the "Oh that wasn't as hard as it looked" My usual answer of "Wow that's ace, thanks, saves me a job. I really need a lie down after all that . ." Hasn't helped much Edited September 17, 2016 by madthatter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Tonge moor green jacket Posted September 17, 2016 Site Supporter Share Posted September 17, 2016 Its new baby time, let em do what they can at first- you'll be knackered enough with sleepless nights. Wait till she starts tutting if you tell your little un off.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madthatter Posted September 17, 2016 Author Share Posted September 17, 2016 Its new baby time, let em do what they can at first- you'll be knackered enough with sleepless nights. Wait till she starts tutting if you tell your little un off.... Oh it's just round the corner I'm sure . . . Aye, similar to the chores she keeps doing I console myself by thinking 'fair play, one less thing for me to do' but it does rankle. Must say I'm beginning to feel more and more like a spare part with the baby - she does see to have the touch with him though which is good but also slightly irritating when she then rubs it in my face! I'm fooked already btw Not always the best at holding my tongue though but am going to have to for the time being it would seem . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted September 17, 2016 Site Supporter Share Posted September 17, 2016 My mother in law is brilliant. Helps loads with the kids and I'd be a bit stuck without her to be honest. She's also a professional chef so there's always something decent to eat. Yours needs a kick in the biffin from the sounds of things Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madthatter Posted September 17, 2016 Author Share Posted September 17, 2016 My mother in law is brilliant. Helps loads with the kids and I'd be a bit stuck without her to be honest. She's also a professional chef so there's always something decent to eat. Yours needs a kick in the biffin from the sounds of things Worse thing is . . . she hails from Yurkshire! Oh aye, she's a 'professional' knitter as well - we've got more dubious looking woollen blankets than Dunelm ffs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Tonge moor green jacket Posted September 17, 2016 Site Supporter Share Posted September 17, 2016 Oh it's just round the corner I'm sure . . . Aye, similar to the chores she keeps doing I console myself by thinking 'fair play, one less thing for me to do' but it does rankle. Must say I'm beginning to feel more and more like a spare part with the baby - she does see to have the touch with him though which is good but also slightly irritating when she then rubs it in my face! I'm fooked already btw Not always the best at holding my tongue though but am going to have to for the time being it would seem . . . I've never been a 'baby' person and to be honest the scriking does my head in. Women and grandmas are generally natural with em. It does rankle but you're not on your own and won't be the last. Don't know if this is your first but you could remind her that she also had to learn when she became a mum. Politely of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted September 17, 2016 Site Supporter Share Posted September 17, 2016 I've never been a 'baby' person and to be honest the scriking does my head in. Women and grandmas are generally natural with em. It does rankle but you're not on your own and won't be the last. Don't know if this is your first but you could remind her that she also had to learn when she became a mum. Politely of course. I think scriking (skriking?) is about the most Boltonian word in existence. Love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madthatter Posted September 17, 2016 Author Share Posted September 17, 2016 (edited) Edit - not the funniest thing but I have a soft spot for yon mon; happy times sat round the TV with my grandma and Grandad as they pissed themselves watchin him - not literally, that came later Edited September 17, 2016 by madthatter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marc505 Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 First sentence my (I guess eventually will be) mother in law said to me was "dont leave anything at her house she'll either break it or sell it she's a fucking gypsy". Then she called the husband a "fucking daft twat". Its gonna be alright. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madthatter Posted September 17, 2016 Author Share Posted September 17, 2016 I've never been a 'baby' person and to be honest the scriking does my head in. Women and grandmas are generally natural with em. It does rankle but you're not on your own and won't be the last. Don't know if this is your first but you could remind her that she also had to learn when she became a mum. Politely of course. Cheers My Mrs has even noticed it, which is saying something, and will prob have a quiet word before I have to! But yeah, that's probably sound advice! My 1st btw The skrikin' I can deal with its just that after half hour or so of me consoling/bouncing/winding him when its clear he only wants to suck on her tits, and you realise your about as useful as tits on a camel, suggestions like 'have you took him out in the pram? it works for me!' are somewhat mildly irritating Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Tonge moor green jacket Posted September 17, 2016 Site Supporter Share Posted September 17, 2016 I think scriking (skriking?) is about the most Boltonian word in existence. Love it. I thought so too. However I wasn't sure of the spelling either, but it is a proper word (according to this tablet) and both spellings are listed on Google. Amazing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 My mother is ace. Whoever becomes the next Mr NB will be lucky as fuck on the one hand with a mother in law like her but sadly they'll have to put up with me too. Swings and roundabouts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madthatter Posted September 17, 2016 Author Share Posted September 17, 2016 (edited) I think scriking (skriking?) is about the most Boltonian word in existence. Love it. Cock, as in, t'has reet cock?' has also got to be up there! These Bristol folk still don't seem to see the friendly and familiar nuances of such a greeting! The straw chewing, Wurzle worshipping, cider abusing cocks. Once said 'thanks Cock' to an offical type after getting off a plane at US customs . . . had some explaining to do then I'll tell thee Edited September 17, 2016 by madthatter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MancWanderer Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 First mother-in-law was a pain in the arse. Lived on her nerves, nothing I did was ever right. Xmas days were horrific. Used to go in to meltdown trying to cook the dinner. Second mother-in-law is ace. Born in a tenement in Dublin. Shortest fuse in the world and kicks off at the slightest provocation but would give you her very last penny. Also says I'm the best thing that ever happened to her daughter Poor fucker has bone marrow cancer and is going through a second round of chemo along with high doses of steroids and morphine so is absolutely whizzing off her tits most of the time these days. She's lost any sort of filter in her brain that stops her saying what she's thinking which is fucking hilarious when she tells people that hopefully their baby will "grow out of their looks" and stuff like that. Can't see her surviving more than a couple of years. I'll really miss her when she goes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madthatter Posted September 17, 2016 Author Share Posted September 17, 2016 (edited) Oh and to all those who have lovely MILs - thanks for letting me know! It's really making me feel bitter better! That's rough, Manc. Hope the treatment works out for her! Edited September 17, 2016 by madthatter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kent_white Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 Edit - not the funniest thing but I have a soft spot for yon mon; happy times sat round the TV with my grandma and Grandad as they pissed themselves watchin him - not literally, that came later If you look at all the faces he pulls and his delivery - Vic Reeves has taken loads from him. In a good way though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madthatter Posted September 17, 2016 Author Share Posted September 17, 2016 If you look at all the faces he pulls and his delivery - Vic Reeves has taken loads from him. In a good way though. Agree, not going to use the word genius but he was a very talented guy. He has me laughing as soon as he looks at the camera, and I know what's coming! I used to love Blankety Blank Vic was like a merger of him, M&W and the Goonies/Monty Python surreal shit! Him and Bob in their pomp were awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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