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Spider

“Bullying” advice

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My lad got threatened at school a couple of days back. I will say it was a one off and not a repetitive situation.

however, he is now beside himself with anxiety and a fair mess, not wanting to go to school, off his food etc..

the kid who threatened him is a bit rough and unfortunately a fair bit bigger. I’m not all that sure it’ll amount to anything serious, but I’m at a loss as to how to convince him it’ll all be ok.

any tips? And I’ve been told that if I were to break the others kids fingers I’d probably go to jail, so that’s out.

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They're pretty good at sorting shit like this out nowadays. They tend to take it very seriously and nip it in the bud as soon as possible. Have you spoken to the school? 

It's fucking horrible, and my heart goes out to your lad.

Edited by Cheese

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Think you've little alternative other than talk to the School. But you've got my empathy - I'm dreading something like that happening with my lad. 

I can recommend sending him to Thai Boxing classes or something similar if he'd enjoy it. There's a decent one in Horwich that does kids classes. Sparring will help him realise he's not got to be scared of anybody - even if they're bigger than him. I remember my Dad took me to Ju Jitsu when I was younger and it did wonders for my confidence. 

And I also have the ability to kill a man with my bare hands which is useful :)

Hope everything sorts itself out though. Could you put dog poo through his parents letterbox? 

 

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Are his parents scrotes

If not, maybe approach them

Alternatively, it's off to the school

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Been through similar with my eldest daughter at high school with a group of girls, I contacted my daughter's form tutor and they managed to sort out their differences in front of the tutor and nothing happened after that, as others have mentioned, schools take this stuff very seriously these days.

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To echo sentiments above schools seem to be so much better at dealing with this kind of stuff nowadays.

My eldest had a few issues last year  and the school were absolutely brilliant. He was paranoid about getting told off and getting work wrong etc to the extent of working himself up that much he could get through the school gates without throwing up ffs. It really was a bonkers phase, and we honestly had no idea how to deal with it. The school had people in place to sort and with out help they did and he’s not looked back since.

Id only approach the other kids parents as a last resort mate, folk will protect their own and line casino days if they are scrotes it could make it worse.

Self defence classes will help but shouldn’t be needed if the school sort it properly imo

Incidentally my lad was picked to be anti bullying ambassador the other week. They have one for each year and any kid with any issues can go to them and they can speak to the teacher together etc. He’s got some meeting at de vere hotel next week with other ambassadors from other schools to see some professional dudes doing a talk on the issues. He’s only 7 ffs .... just shows how serious its take and how much is done now mate

Edited by gonzo

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How old is he spider?

I had it with my youngest at Rivi. This was girls mind at 15/16

Do it via school every time. It worked

I did have a backup plan though should the parents take offence at accusations against their little princess. Not proud about it but had any repercussions happened I had support, not against the kid but the parents getting a warning. Sad indictment of society but that was the length that I was prepared to go to

 

 

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Cheers

am speaking to school in the morning. Doesn’t help that the lad involved is built like Jonah Lomu by all accounts.

lets see how good the Pastoral care is.

seems soft, but it fuckikg breaks you watching your own lad in that state. My reaction is to smash the fuck out of the lad who did it.

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Bully his dad in front of him 

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16 minutes ago, Spider said:

Cheers

am speaking to school in the morning. Doesn’t help that the lad involved is built like Jonah Lomu by all accounts.

lets see how good the Pastoral care is.

seems soft, but it fuckikg breaks you watching your own lad in that state. My reaction is to smash the fuck out of the lad who did it.

Nothing soft about it mate. You love your son. 

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20 odd years ago now but my lad encountered a bit of this from a group of 4 from the year higher then him. He's a bit game and fought back one day dragging the ringleader into a stream beside the school after knocking him down. The other 3 stood back, a bit shaken that he had the balls to have a dig back (they ambushed him on his way home from school).

This ringleaders mother worked voluntarily part time in the school library so you can probably imagine how things went when I had to go in and front the headmaster with my lad. The bastard was all for defending the other kid because his mother had been in his ear. I had to rip into him to get some kind of justice which was they both got suspended for a week - even though my son had done absolutely nothing wrong and was not the instigator nor wanted any of this shit. The headmaster was horrified that I had taught my lad to hit back if someone had hit him. Seemed to think that irresponsible and that he should just take it!

A few weeks later, I came home from work from a site job. High vis shirt, safety boots, the full thing. No son at home, daughter took me to one side and said he'd had to go off to a 'straightener' at a local park with this little prick. Red mist came down, jumped into the car and went round there. Pretty much the whole school was there to witness this spectacle. They were just starting to circle when I screeched to a halt, threw the door open and stormed down a slope into the middle of it. the bully had turned up with his 18 and 20 year old brothers and, apart from my lads form mates, it seemed the whole school was with the bigger bully (because the popular Mrs. Splitkipper was his mother I suppose). "Right then, which one of you fuckers wants a piece of my son? It's going to be one on one like it was at the stream". 20yo brother steps forward and goes nose to nose with me for about a millisecond before realising he had made a mistake and fucked off sharpish. Once he went, the whole crowd drifted away and we never heard anything about it ever again. Lad told me that at subsequent parties etc. after they'd left school, the bully would always sheepishly stay out of his way or say 'Hi'.

Obviously things have moved on a good way since then - especially in the UK so no doubt going to the school is the correct path. For obvious reasons, I believed that we had no chance of any sort of fair treatment and I'm not really sure how we finally sorted it out. Just died a death after that.

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Jack a fucking nory!  Isn't it great how all Bolty's stories end with him being a hero and everyone else cowering to him! Thankfully, he's so modest he wouldnt boast about things like that in a thread about bullying.

Edited by Cheese

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Contact the school, they will speak to both your lad and the bully and take accounts, 

They will then contact the bullys parents to sort out some variant of sanction, and more than likely call them in to deal with it. More often than not they will have a fair idea that the pupil is capable of these and know the best way to handle certain parents. There will be an agreed sanction (the schools decision here not the parents) and some variant of ensuring it doesn't happen again. Other kid will then give yours a wide berth. 

 

If you take your kid to self defence classes, the problem is that other kids will find out, and then issues escalate. I've seen it plenty of times and it never ends fantastically, for every kid that whollops a bully, there are ones that get picked on more and more because the other kids want to call out their new found skills... 

 

If you try to speak to the parents, they will more than likely ignore you, or kick off.. They can't do that with the school to the same extent, (I've had to deal with some awful parents, but knowing that you have the full extent of various educational acts behind you helps hugely). 

If anything happens again refer it back to the school, because if it isnt your kid, it will be another. 

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21 minutes ago, Cheese said:

Jack a fucking nory!  Isn't it great how all Bolty's stories end with him being a hero and everyone else cowering to him! Thankfully, he's so modest he wouldnt boast about things like that in a thread about bullying.

All of bolty's stories?

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Make sure any meeting with the head or pastoral leader is logged as an allegation of bullying. This means the issue can't be brushed under the table and needs further discussion at Governor level.

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Contact the school. Sooner the better. 

I enjoyed Billy Bullshit’s Jackanory hour though 

 

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9 hours ago, bolty58 said:

20 odd years ago now but my lad encountered a bit of this from a group of 4 from the year higher then him. He's a bit game and fought back one day dragging the ringleader into a stream beside the school after knocking him down. The other 3 stood back, a bit shaken that he had the balls to have a dig back (they ambushed him on his way home from school).

This ringleaders mother worked voluntarily part time in the school library so you can probably imagine how things went when I had to go in and front the headmaster with my lad. The bastard was all for defending the other kid because his mother had been in his ear. I had to rip into him to get some kind of justice which was they both got suspended for a week - even though my son had done absolutely nothing wrong and was not the instigator nor wanted any of this shit. The headmaster was horrified that I had taught my lad to hit back if someone had hit him. Seemed to think that irresponsible and that he should just take it!

A few weeks later, I came home from work from a site job. High vis shirt, safety boots, the full thing. No son at home, daughter took me to one side and said he'd had to go off to a 'straightener' at a local park with this little prick. Red mist came down, jumped into the car and went round there. Pretty much the whole school was there to witness this spectacle. They were just starting to circle when I screeched to a halt, threw the door open and stormed down a slope into the middle of it. the bully had turned up with his 18 and 20 year old brothers and, apart from my lads form mates, it seemed the whole school was with the bigger bully (because the popular Mrs. Splitkipper was his mother I suppose). "Right then, which one of you fuckers wants a piece of my son? It's going to be one on one like it was at the stream". 20yo brother steps forward and goes nose to nose with me for about a millisecond before realising he had made a mistake and fucked off sharpish. Once he went, the whole crowd drifted away and we never heard anything about it ever again. Lad told me that at subsequent parties etc. after they'd left school, the bully would always sheepishly stay out of his way or say 'Hi'.

Needless to say, I had the last laugh.

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8 hours ago, MancWanderer said:

All of bolty's stories?

 

Ignore the dick. I do. I'll be at a game or two with my lad hopefully sooner rather than later (who a few off here already know him) so I'd be a bit of a stupid twat to invent a story like that when they would be able to ask him (that's if they even remembered it. I'm sure most have other things to be concerned about). I'd wager Anewman will remember to :D Not in the habit of inventing stories anyway but cuntybollocks can think what he wants - that's if he thinks at all.

He just has the shits because I have the boring, argumentative cunt on ignore. Love to meet the contrary prick on an upcoming visit if he has the backbone to say 'Jackanory' to my face?

Not sure about what he sees as heroic. I was bit sheepish afterwards. Big bunch of young secondary school kids seeing that. Red mist and all that. Still, it solved the problem which was what we wanted.

Would have been far better if the school could have done it but it clearly wasn't going to happen.

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1 minute ago, Not in Crawley said:

Needless to say, I had the last laugh.

 

You popped up just as I was typing. No last laugh. Wasn't proud of that. Hope Spider can sort it with the school as advised by the majority on here.

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I was bullied as a child, I remember the day it all came to a head like it was yesterday. I was on my way back from school and they cornered me in the park, it seemed like there were 100s of people there to watch me get beat up. Just as they started to attack me one of my neighbours waded in and rescued me. It stays with me. My mum went crazy and raced to the school and gave the headmaster a right beasting. It stopped the next day. It had been going on for months, I wish I'd had the balls to tell someone and put a stop to it sooner. Schools are all over this kind of behaviour now. Hope it works out for your lad

Edited by Desert_monkey
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I was being a bit sarcastic, you should watch a bit of Alan.

im sure the story in parts is true, it’s just the way you recount it makes you seem a bit sort of self centred.  

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31 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

I was being a bit sarcastic, you should watch a bit of Alan.

im sure the story in parts is true, it’s just the way you recount it makes you seem a bit sort of self centred.  

 Unintended then but I don't really give a fuck - especially about what the contrary cunt thinks.

Not 'in parts' by the way. Completely.

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2 minutes ago, mickbrown said:

*cough, bullshit, *cough

 

He'll have you on ignore with that sort of attitude Michael

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