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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

Stand-Up Wiping Part 2


Youri McAnespie

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6 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

Sit down wipers are akin to oddballs who sit down in the shower.

so 60 million Spanish folk are wrong?

3 minutes ago, deane koontz said:

I didn't even know sit down wipers existed until i started posting on here. They can't be taken serious.

 

 

You stand up, clench cheeks then "wipe' faeces ways? Beast.

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Logistically, a stand up wipe cannot possibly ensure a sparkle clean.

Particularly if you are a larger fellow.

A sit down wipe means your cheeks are already at full stretch, thus allowing the toilet paper maximum contact with the cornhole.

You therefore have a better chance of wiping every morsel of shitty detritus from the starfish.

A stand up wipe mean rooting through extra amounts of clenched flesh, and will result in shite smearing to all points of the compass and you cannot get full sphincteral contact.

Ipso facto, stand up wipers smell of shit.

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5 minutes ago, deane koontz said:

I didn't even know sit down wipers existed until i started posting on here. They can't be taken serious.

 

 

And vice versa. Anybody with even a redimentary comprehension of anatomy and physiology would understand that standing up to wipe involuntarily forces together a human's gluteous maximus muscles; rendering proper botty hygeine nigh on impossible.

I can only assume the 'standers' are all walking around with shitty arses?

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Kent's a medical person, so knows what he's on about.

Standers - it's time to rethink your habits. Splay those cheeks and get that biz off your balloon knots.

 

On a slightly related note, I watched an art movie the other day and an American gentleman was wearing a pair of gloves that guarantee a firm grip on the buttocks. They had "Gape Glove" written on them and seemed to do a cracking job. The lady who was helping with the demonstration proved their effectiveness by showing the camera her upper colon.

Maybe give them a go.

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1 minute ago, kent_white said:

And vice versa. Anybody with even a redimentary comprehension of anatomy and physiology would understand that standing up to wipe involuntarily forces together a human's gluteous maximus muscles; rendering proper botty hygeine nigh on impossible.

I can only assume the 'standers' are all walking around with shitty arses?

 

There's a lot of big words there but you're wrong. Essentially, you sit downers are all flatdicks.

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