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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

Stand-Up Wiping Part 2


Youri McAnespie

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6 minutes ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

Nah,  be running down the legs.

But sitting to wipe- why do apes have such long arms- so they can reach around for lunch?

Ok, quick survey.

is your missus a sitter or a stander? If a sitter, have you tried to educate her?

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1 minute ago, Spider said:

Ok, quick survey.

is your missus a sitter or a stander? If a sitter, have you tried to educate her?

I've not got the foggiest. Being part of a modern civilised society, I don't need to watch.

Sitters however, well I'm not sure you've evolved quite so far yet.

 

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3 hours ago, Youri McAnespie said:

You are a scientist, experiment before poo-pooing. You've come to the sane conclusion - stand-up wiping is an act of the deranged.

I am a scientist. Fact. Bsc Hons if you care to believe. OK it was a 3rd class because I fucked around a tad too much, but it was still an Honours degree. And I still believe that so-called facts need to be tested. So I did, As a scientist

And as a true scientist, follow-up is everything. No true investigative study is worthy without follow up 

2 hours later.......

  • Toilet roll did nothing - just got stuck on dried up bits of clag
  • Wet wipes - just smeared a top layer everywhere
  • Hosepipe - sprayed everyone nearby and the neighbours complained
  • Kaarcher jet-wash - cleared it all away

Whilst occasionally pleasurable (for scientific reasons obviously) having my ring decontaminated, I stand (erm) by my assertion that a sit-down wipe is easier and by far more hygienic 

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19 hours ago, Not in Crawley said:

You sitters are a bit too fundamental.

Which is why you’re all a bit odd.

T'lads reet. Sitters need to get them glutes firmed up a bit then they don't have to be sat spreadeagled like on a gynaecologists chair to get at their clackervalves.

Obsessive cleaner me and a lifetime stander upperer (once I could walk of course).

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