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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

Stand-Up Wiping Part 2


Youri McAnespie

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Imagine being sat behind a Stander at the match on a hot day.

The fetid, pungent, cloying stench of dried shit, remoistened by a sweaty crack drifting up your nose, and the gravy like drips in their Y-backs staining their Wranglers.

Beasts

 

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12 minutes ago, deane koontz said:

 

There's a lot of big words there but you're wrong. Essentially, you sit downers are all flatdicks.

I've examined the peer reviewed research on this and you're wrong. The majority of men sit to wipe. With around a third of men choosing to stand. This around the same percentage that are predicted to have homosexual fantasies - 1 in 3.

Now I know that correlation doesn't imply causation necessarily - but I think it's pretty clear that it does in this instance.

https://www.menshealth.com/grooming/a22864779/wipe-standing-up/

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Just now, kent_white said:

I've examined the peer reviewed research on this and you're wrong. The majority of men sit to wipe. With around a third of men choosing to stand. This around the same percentage that are predicted to have homosexual fantasies - 1 in 3.

Now I know that correlation doesn't imply causation necessarily - but I think it's pretty clear that it does in this instance.

https://www.menshealth.com/grooming/a22864779/wipe-standing-up/

Game

Set 

Match

 

Filth. Utter, stone age filth.

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1 minute ago, Spider said:

You must have more clingons than a series of Star Trek 

You'll need a chisel, not bog roll.

I imagine that after years of stand up wiping it becomes physically impossible to 'sit wipe' - probably because the hairs of your arse cheeks will have become welded together with decades of tod.

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1 minute ago, Not in Crawley said:

I’m quite happy with my life choices - as I say, you sitters don’t half like to justify your ape like behaviour.

Apes scratch their arses on tree trunks.

I expect you standers have a rough pole or sandpaper wrapped round a rolling pin to achieve the same result.

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8 minutes ago, Spider said:

Apes scratch their arses on tree trunks.

I expect you standers have a rough pole or sandpaper wrapped round a rolling pin to achieve the same result.

I'll bet the 'standers' are the ones responsible for those bunched-up shitty tissues discarded on the floor of the traps at the match, the pub, the theatre...

Edited by Youri McAnespie
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10 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

Keep on kidding yourself folks. 

You’re normally one for reasonable and well structured debate

your lack of decent responses suggests you don’t have a leg to stand on. Except when you’re wiping your grubby, crusted pipe.

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10 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

Keep on kidding yourself folks. 

That's just typical of your lot. Diversion tactics. Why have you not answered my questions? You lot don't like it when we destroy you with undisputed facts. PM me if you think you're man enough and meet me outside the club shop at half 3.

Tylko zwierzęta stoją, aby je wytrzeć

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1 hour ago, Not in Crawley said:

You sitters are a bit too fundamental.

Which is why you’re all a bit odd.

They know what they're doing is odd; hence the bizarre levels of passion in defending it. The idea of having a reach around in to the toilet to wipe seems pretty disgusting to me. As for all of these logistical concerns, I can only assume they're coming from people carrying a bit too much timber, so requiring special solutions to work around their bulk.

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6 minutes ago, maaarsh said:

They know what they're doing is odd; hence the bizarre levels of passion in defending it. The idea of having a reach around in to the toilet to wipe seems pretty disgusting to me. As for all of these logistical concerns, I can only assume they're coming from people carrying a bit too much timber, so requiring special solutions to work around their bulk.

We don’t dip the bog roll in the water.

the whole procedure ensures the tainted paper stays within the confines of the lavatory area.

you standers must have scraps of shitty a-wipe littering your bathroom floors, and the stench, well....

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19 minutes ago, maaarsh said:

They know what they're doing is odd; hence the bizarre levels of passion in defending it. The idea of having a reach around in to the toilet to wipe seems pretty disgusting to me. As for all of these logistical concerns, I can only assume they're coming from people carrying a bit too much timber, so requiring special solutions to work around their bulk.

Logistical concerns? It's wiping your arse, not building the Great Pyramid of Giza! 

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