Members bolty58 Posted November 22, 2019 Members Share Posted November 22, 2019 From me (the wishor) to you (hereinafter call the wishee), please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the festive season, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all - and a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2020 but with due respect for the calendars of other cultures or sects and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the wishee. By accepting this greeting, you are bound by the following terms that: This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration is made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably as may be expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting - whichever comes first. The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor. Any references in this greeting to "The Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Saviour" or any other festive season associated figures, whether actual or fictitious/dead or alive shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and/or images are hereby acknowledged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted November 22, 2019 Share Posted November 22, 2019 Happy Holidays, P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Cheese Posted November 22, 2019 Site Supporter Share Posted November 22, 2019 You get thrown in jail if you say 'Merry Christmas' these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted November 22, 2019 Share Posted November 22, 2019 If I had a kid they'd probably come home from school singing 'baa baa rainbow sheep' because 'black sheep' is racists and the sheep is now a sodomite... They brought home a hand made Cat Stevens themed Crescent and Star Calendar - because this year the 'holidays' art classes are dedicated to celebration of the birthday of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). They are having a 'Nativity' play though - 'Mooncats', a delightful tale of two same sex feline astronauts who brave evil greedy hook-nosed aliens, cat-hating robber barons and blustery blonde asteroids in their journey to adopt a litter of Venusian kittens - how fucking festive does that sound? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted November 22, 2019 Site Supporter Share Posted November 22, 2019 I've already eaten 6 Halal mince pies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Cheese Posted November 22, 2019 Site Supporter Share Posted November 22, 2019 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted November 22, 2019 Share Posted November 22, 2019 (edited) Oh aye and a cash donation towards a new minibus for the school or 'Children in Need' this year isn't good enough. Instead we're all being asked to adopt and support/raise until the age of 21 (or until they qualify at level 7 standard of education - whichever comes last) a 'child' refugee from DRC... This is who we're reluctantly taking on, young Mukebe (claimed age 11 1/2 years, chronological age 28)... On the plus side he's thirty four confirmed kills, so I'm hoping for no more shit from the neighbours about our trees overhanging their garden, less keen of his HIV+ status, indiscriminatory and non-gender defined rapacious nature and that he's an asymptomatic carrier of the old Ebola...😕 Edited November 22, 2019 by Youri McAnespie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted November 22, 2019 Site Supporter Share Posted November 22, 2019 Aldi are selling GERMAN foodstuffs. Down by the bin full of bandsaws, cement and panel heaters, here's a higgledy-piggledy selection of Wermacht Biscuits, Stormtrooper chutneys, Luftwaffe stock pots, Kreigsmarine after dinner mints and some SS sausage meat patties. All hope of a traditional, Dickensian yule is gone. We're stuck with snowflakes (not real ones because of climate change, obvs) telling us we can't go the church, or send cards. Instead we have to attend compulsory workshops on soup-making for immigrants. We've gone to the DOGS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted November 22, 2019 Share Posted November 22, 2019 Sorry, the headperson of the school has been on the blower, apparently I'm guilty of 'deadnaming' - the 'holidays countdown calendar' was of course themed on Yusuf Islam. Apologies to the Muslim community, a £200 cheque to the Al-Quds March 2020 Fund is in the post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 22, 2019 Share Posted November 22, 2019 3 hours ago, Cheese said: You get thrown in jail if you say 'Merry Christmas' these days. Merry Christmas, our Cheese Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Cheese Posted November 22, 2019 Site Supporter Share Posted November 22, 2019 50 minutes ago, boltondiver said: Merry Christmas, our Cheese Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you too, boltondiver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave2980 Posted November 22, 2019 Share Posted November 22, 2019 It's no-fucking-vember it's not Christmas yet 😡 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudy Posted November 22, 2019 Members Share Posted November 22, 2019 Happy Hanukkah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted November 22, 2019 Share Posted November 22, 2019 It's not even Thanksgiving yet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter MickyD Posted November 22, 2019 Site Supporter Share Posted November 22, 2019 7 hours ago, Rudy’s Message said: Happy Hanukkah Anyone noticed how popular the menorah has become at Christmas? Wonder if Corbyn has one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted November 22, 2019 Site Supporter Share Posted November 22, 2019 1 hour ago, MickyD said: Anyone noticed how popular the menorah has become at Christmas? Wonder if Corbyn has one. Is that one of those slabs of utter carnage made up of 6 pigeons stuffed inside each other they sell at Aldi? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweep Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 24 minutes ago, Spider said: Is that one of those slabs of utter carnage made up of 6 pigeons stuffed inside each other they sell at Aldi? We bought one of them things the other year from Aldi, I think it was a sparrow, stuffed into a budgie, into a pigeon, into a chicken wrapped into the corpse of a badger or something. It was utterly fantastic, which was a surprise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolty58 Posted November 23, 2019 Author Members Share Posted November 23, 2019 16 hours ago, Traf said: Happy Holidays, P. Cheers C. Same to you and yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolty58 Posted November 23, 2019 Author Members Share Posted November 23, 2019 15 hours ago, Spider said: I've already eaten 6 Halal mince pies The non Halal ones used to have meat in em y'know. Them were t'days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter MickyD Posted November 23, 2019 Site Supporter Share Posted November 23, 2019 7 hours ago, MickyD said: Anyone noticed how popular the menorah has become at Christmas? Wonder if Corbyn has one. 6 hours ago, Spider said: Is that one of those slabs of utter carnage made up of 6 pigeons stuffed inside each other they sell at Aldi? Not quite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted November 23, 2019 Site Supporter Share Posted November 23, 2019 1 hour ago, MickyD said: Not quite. You can get them off the Ann Summers website Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter MickyD Posted November 23, 2019 Site Supporter Share Posted November 23, 2019 Not usually with that many protrusions. This one's the Ultra Deluxe model. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 Already heard Christmas tunes ont radio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 3 hours ago, MickyD said: Not quite. The middle one represents Satan/Mammon and the other six represent his 666 minions as mentioned in the black bible aka The Torah... That's what it says in the latest circular from party HQ anyhow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 On 23/11/2019 at 06:36, MickyD said: Not quite. A chan pipe that 7 can share. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.