Youri McAnespie 726 Posted November 17, 2020 Author Share Posted November 17, 2020 (edited) @Not in Crawley How the fuck did you get that info about Brand? I can remember when I went. I was dating a really clean (beautiful) girl, and to be frank, I'd been with some scrubbers - post break-up with another girl. So wanted to get the all clear. Anyhow I asked two mates who were old hands what I should expect. They said "well they shove a swab down your jap" "What? Like a cotton bud?" "Yeah" Night before I had a trial run with a Johnson + Johnson bud until the pain forced me to abort. My 'mates' when I retold this tale, found it hilarious - pair of bastards. Edited November 17, 2020 by Youri McAnespie Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Not in Crawley 411 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Just now, Youri McAnespie said: How the fuck did you get that info? I can remember when I went. I was dating a really clean (beautiful) girl, and to be frank, I'd been with some scrubbers - post break-up with another girl. So wanted to get the all clear. Anyhow I asked two mates who were old hands what I should expect. They said "well they shove a swab down your jap" "What? Like a cotton bud?" "Yeah" Night before I had a trial run with a Johnson + Johnson bud until the pain forced me to abort. My 'mates' when I retold this tale, found it hilarious - pair of bastards. I remember, soccer am, or was it my booky wook. God knows why I've read that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Youri McAnespie 726 Posted November 17, 2020 Author Share Posted November 17, 2020 (edited) I read both his books out of boredom when staying at a book poor house. Don't recall him mentioning the clap clinic. I do recall him boasting about rattling Kate Moss... Someone else mentioned Christina Hendricks - a good shout, however she's been nobbed by RHCP singer Anthony Kiedis - who admits himself he's been riddled with disease, due to IV drug use and promiscuity - including literally bumming girls. Not libellous it's all in his book - another bored Hobson's choice read. Edited November 17, 2020 by Youri McAnespie Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Youri McAnespie 726 Posted November 17, 2020 Author Share Posted November 17, 2020 4 hours ago, Mr Grey said: I bet in the buff they both look top, I'd do Princess Kate before Meghan, theres no way badly Wills is satisfying her. Why doesn't he just get a number zero? He looks ridiculous. If you think she's unsatisfied you should do a 'Clubber Lang at Rocky's statue unveiling' and pitch up at one of their public engagements. Loudly besmirch his sexual prowess then proposition the Duchess. She might take you on - or baldy might agree to a fight. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Grey 676 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 21 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said: Why doesn't he just get a number zero? He looks ridiculous. If you think she's unsatisfied you should do a 'Clubber Lang at Rocky's statue unveiling' and pitch up at one of their public engagements. Loudly besmirch his sexual prowess then proposition the Duchess. She might take you on - or baldy might agree to a fight. I couldn't hit a Royal, but I'd shag his missus, and tbh she would be well chuffed because I'm a catch and he is one fow bastard, nice fella like, I mean him no harm, but he's punching, proper punching. I'm even happy to wear tweed with leather elbow sleeves, ride a horse (no hunting though, that's for toff cunts!) and play a bit of polo before I pop one in her hole. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Youri McAnespie 726 Posted November 17, 2020 Author Share Posted November 17, 2020 She's not even posh. I've heard her family are gypsy. Run a fairground ride and sell party stuff - balloons, paper plates, napkins etc. on the side. I think she's a beard tbh. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TrickyTrotter 54 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 60s. Andie MacDowell Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Youri McAnespie 726 Posted November 17, 2020 Author Share Posted November 17, 2020 She's in her 60's? Fuck I feel owd. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rudy 1,042 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 44 minutes ago, Mr Grey said: I couldn't hit a Royal, but I'd shag his missus, and tbh she would be well chuffed because I'm a catch and he is one fow bastard, nice fella like, I mean him no harm, but he's punching, proper punching. I'm even happy to wear tweed with leather elbow sleeves, ride a horse (no hunting though, that's for toff cunts!) and play a bit of polo before I pop one in her hole. I’d shag his Mrs whilst listening to a medley of The Smiths, Sex Pistols and John Lennon Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Casino 2,321 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 30 Lily James 40 Winslet 50 Aniston and Tess 60 Rita Wilson....a scream in mamma mia Any of them could go to the chippy for me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Grey 676 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 10 minutes ago, Rudy said: I’d shag his Mrs whilst listening to a medley of The Smiths, Sex Pistols and John Lennon She can put the Carpenters on, I'd still shag her rapid 😁 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
green genie 40 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 50s Salma Hayek 60s Sussana Hoffs 70s Debbie Harry Every one else thought were 40s are older and cant dislodge Hayek. God I feel old Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Site Supporter Winchester White 254 Posted November 17, 2020 Site Supporter Share Posted November 17, 2020 6 minutes ago, green genie said: 50s Salma Hayek God yes, she is stunning. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rudy 1,042 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 2 hours ago, Not in Crawley said: I remember, soccer am, or was it my booky wook. God knows why I've read that. Hang on, let’s rewind, Russell Brand called his book, a Booky wook Fancy giving me another reason to want to kick the filthy looking twat square in the cunt Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Site Supporter Winchester White 254 Posted November 17, 2020 Site Supporter Share Posted November 17, 2020 12 minutes ago, Rudy said: Hang on, let’s rewind, Russell Brand called his book, a Booky wook Fancy giving me another reason to want to kick the filthy looking twat square in the cunt Apart from his awful voice and general demeanor, he looks like a fucking starved yeti. How on earth some lovely ladies have allowed him to furrow his seed in them is beyond my feeble mind. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Youri McAnespie 726 Posted November 17, 2020 Author Share Posted November 17, 2020 'My Booky Wook' It mainly details how he was an incorrigible alcy and drug addict. You could probably read it cover to cover in two hours. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Youri McAnespie 726 Posted November 17, 2020 Author Share Posted November 17, 2020 (edited) 36 minutes ago, green genie said: 50s Salma Hayek 60s Sussana Hoffs 70s Debbie Harry Every one else thought were 40s are older and cant dislodge Hayek. God I feel old That dance of her's in 'From Dusk 'Til Dawn' is burned into my retinas... I'll probably replay it on my deathbed. Her jiggling about in geeky glasses in 'Dogma' too... 😍 Mentioned Susannah Hoffs earlier - another top shout. Edited November 17, 2020 by Youri McAnespie Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rudy 1,042 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 8 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said: 'My Booky Wook' It mainly details how he was an incorrigible alcy and drug addict. You could probably read it cover to cover in two hours. Hopefully it’s like war and peace and I could beat him with it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
crawshawbooth 57 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 fucking hell ,no way would i have put Susannah Hoffs in the 60s gorgeous lady , had some new music out with Travis last month Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Youri McAnespie 726 Posted November 17, 2020 Author Share Posted November 17, 2020 (edited) @Rudy Oh aye - there's also an account of his estranged dad taking him to Bangkok or somewhere on 'business' and getting him a local brass for the night for his 17th... I don't mind him - he's southern, they're pretty much all wankers. Think he gets stick because girls and wimmin chuck themselves at him. And he's a gobshite. Edited November 17, 2020 by Youri McAnespie Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Site Supporter ZicoKelly 1,733 Posted November 18, 2020 Site Supporter Share Posted November 18, 2020 How old would JonBenét Ramsey be now? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Youri McAnespie 726 Posted November 18, 2020 Author Share Posted November 18, 2020 Had to google. You sick fucker. 😐 She'd be 30. One for the 'deceased' section? Assuming she'd lived of course. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Youri McAnespie 726 Posted November 18, 2020 Author Share Posted November 18, 2020 Unsolved - rubbish American coppers, too busy shooting fleeing black blokes in the back. It was probably her dad you m0ngs. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gonzo 2,977 Posted November 18, 2020 Share Posted November 18, 2020 Not much BAME representation on here. Shame on you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Site Supporter ZicoKelly 1,733 Posted November 18, 2020 Site Supporter Share Posted November 18, 2020 32 minutes ago, gonzo said: Not much BAME representation on here. Shame on you. Black don't crack It's a totally different game 20 - Halle Berry 30 - Halle Berry 40 - Halle Berry 50 - Halle Berry 60 - Rusty Lee Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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