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Christmas Doo Tales


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Not having one this year so we’ve been reminiscing about last years smaller team outing.

Trainee lad didn’t drink much in Uni but fair play to him came along with us seasoned drinkers. It was bad news when someone made a comment that he wasn’t keeping up, so he started downing his pints.

Went to Akbar’s for a ruby and he was pissed as a fart, mixing his drinks. After It we went into a pub abs he looked in a bad place. He staggered to the toilet. 10 mins passed and someone checked on him. 
He was sat on the throne with the seat down, it had come out of both ends and he was covered in it and asleep. Had to ring him Mam to come and get him. After we took a few pictures that somehow make it around work every now and again

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It wasn't my hotel, I still couldn't find my original hotel the following day roaming about the city, good job the mates turned up with my bag at the railway station.

actually now I think about it I have, and posted this before so just had to find it and copy and paste John Thomson (fast show etc) - 2001 in the Met in Didsbury end of the night after

Que?

Free bars are lethal, esp when in the better days clients were spending lots.

We had one at some posh london hotel. Everyone was saying the floor was a bit slippery. After one too many I slipped, reached out instinctively to grab anything i could whih happened to be one of those tall standing glass tables. Down it came with me, in front of everyone. Shamed and smashed on the floor, surrounded by glass and £7,000 worth of damage.

Not as bad as the lady who vomited into the face of the CEO's wife though the year after.

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I dread to think. Got barred from red hall for trying to steal their Xmas decorations when I was wankered. puked up in a plant pot at the moat House after calling one of the managers a perv. 

2 years ago at rivvy barn they had a bucking reindeer thing. Woman went on, dress ended up round her waist with her sanitary pad on show for everyone to see. That was nice. 

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around 99/00 we had ours in Wilmslow at some restaurant

when we finishsed planned on a massive pub crawl

cept the vast majority had shut for the day because of a gypsy funeral getting out of hand early doors

so it was a bit shit

don't think I've ever had one more or less memorable than that

however, my mate, works for Barclays and one year they took them to some posh country house / estate type place somewher in Cheshire - picked everyone up on a coach which waited outside whilst they had meal and free bar etc etc

one bloke then thought it would be funny to nab the drivers keys from his pocket and take the coach for a spin round the car parks and grounds, which he promptly ruined tearing up grass and flower beds, hit a tree then ended up driving into a lake

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actually now I think about it I have, and posted this before so just had to find it and copy and paste

John Thomson (fast show etc) - 2001

in the Met in Didsbury

end of the night after a christmas do, pub is virtually empty

sat with his mate, boss wanted to say hello as a fan of cold feet, so went on over

to begin with, very decent bloke, got chatting about all sorts of stuff

he was v pissed, eyes glazed over but was holding it together well

next thing decides we're journalists and my boss' briefcase has a tape recorder in it

gets aggressive, kicking off, wrestles with boss for briefcase, opens it, picks out a phone charger, holds it up and starts giving it

"who the fck you think you are, i fcking knew it, you cnts, come on then"

starts going for us

bar staff hold him back

we leave

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46 minutes ago, ZicoKelly said:

actually now I think about it I have, and posted this before so just had to find it and copy and paste

John Thomson (fast show etc) - 2001

in the Met in Didsbury

end of the night after a christmas do, pub is virtually empty

sat with his mate, boss wanted to say hello as a fan of cold feet, so went on over

to begin with, very decent bloke, got chatting about all sorts of stuff

he was v pissed, eyes glazed over but was holding it together well

next thing decides we're journalists and my boss' briefcase has a tape recorder in it

gets aggressive, kicking off, wrestles with boss for briefcase, opens it, picks out a phone charger, holds it up and starts giving it

"who the fck you think you are, i fcking knew it, you cnts, come on then"

starts going for us

bar staff hold him back

we leave

ComfortableEnormousCormorant-max-1mb.gif

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1 hour ago, ZicoKelly said:

actually now I think about it I have, and posted this before so just had to find it and copy and paste

John Thomson (fast show etc) - 2001

in the Met in Didsbury

end of the night after a christmas do, pub is virtually empty

sat with his mate, boss wanted to say hello as a fan of cold feet, so went on over

to begin with, very decent bloke, got chatting about all sorts of stuff

he was v pissed, eyes glazed over but was holding it together well

next thing decides we're journalists and my boss' briefcase has a tape recorder in it

gets aggressive, kicking off, wrestles with boss for briefcase, opens it, picks out a phone charger, holds it up and starts giving it

"who the fck you think you are, i fcking knew it, you cnts, come on then"

starts going for us

bar staff hold him back

we leave

Bing fueled paranoia. ITK 

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When I worked at an insurance firm as a lad they would have a social club, once a month we would try and do a bit of team bonding, it usually resulted in everyone getting smashed and shagging and doing the walk of shame on a Monday. 

It got out of hand so the organiser of it said she wanted to do something classy, so opted for a wine and cheese night in the office.

it ended up being carnage one lad was dancing on the tables with his old man out on show

The place got trashed and the social club got binned which just made Christmas doos the biggest blowout of the year

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Couple of years back works do was a meal in the northern quarter starting at 3pm. Gets on the red wine. 

Headed for the last train from manc after boozing on red wine for 6 + hours. 

Got woken up 1 stop before Blackpool by the ticket inspector. 

£80 taxi home. 

Luckily the Mrs just laughed it off..... Did she fuck! 🤣 

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Another time, our company did the PR for a members club in town called the Hospital Club. They did free drinks again but t was mainly cocktails and loads of Negroni's. Now a negroni is lovely, but is supposed to be drank before food because it basically just booze - gin, campari and vermouth. Everyone was completely battered, fights the lot, one girl was woken up by the cleaners the morning after falling asleep, bloke who had been with the company for two weeks came in at lunchtime the next da and was turned around and walked out as he had been handsy with one of the intern girls.

Lots the account, and the compnay was banned from the club. Shame as we all had membership, not so much a shame has it was a prentious horrible place full of Nathan Barley's and TV presenters.

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2 hours ago, ZicoKelly said:

actually now I think about it I have, and posted this before so just had to find it and copy and paste

John Thomson (fast show etc) - 2001

in the Met in Didsbury

end of the night after a christmas do, pub is virtually empty

sat with his mate, boss wanted to say hello as a fan of cold feet, so went on over

to begin with, very decent bloke, got chatting about all sorts of stuff

he was v pissed, eyes glazed over but was holding it together well

next thing decides we're journalists and my boss' briefcase has a tape recorder in it

gets aggressive, kicking off, wrestles with boss for briefcase, opens it, picks out a phone charger, holds it up and starts giving it

"who the fck you think you are, i fcking knew it, you cnts, come on then"

starts going for us

bar staff hold him back

we leave

Ha ha remember you telling me about this

Used to see him around Dids loads

Oh  and Works Xmas do’s are a pain in the arse

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51 minutes ago, little whitt said:

back in the late 80s early 90s 

we would go to the Willows salford Rugby club every year 

seen all the old 60s groups 

had some Amazing night in there every year i would tap up 

Fingering birds arses the lot 

The old chocolate finger eh

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6 minutes ago, Traf said:

Don't think I've ever been to an organised Christmas do, having been self-employed for so long.

My "do" is usually last home game before Christmas, then out in Bolton until stupid o'clock.

Best way

Works Christmas parties a full of two faced cnuts being all nice 

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5 minutes ago, radcliffewhite1 said:

Best way

Works Christmas parties a full of two faced cnuts being all nice 

absolutely spot on. I choose not to socialise with them through they year cos I don’t like them. Doesn’t change just cos it’s Xmas. 
 

Always someone acting the big man as well. Without fail. Knowing full well nobody can do fuck all as they will end up getting grief at work. 
 

 

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46 minutes ago, Escobarp said:

absolutely spot on. I choose not to socialise with them through they year cos I don’t like them. Doesn’t change just cos it’s Xmas. 
 

Always someone acting the big man as well. Without fail. Knowing full well nobody can do fuck all as they will end up getting grief at work. 
 

 

😂😂 that’s the most Esco thing I’ve read 

I have to get on with my colleagues, travel the world with them if you don’t click it’s awful at times, but luckily I have a great set of colleagues 

The big corporate doo I don’t enjoy, have to be on best behaviour , it’s a long long night and I despise wearing a suit

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