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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

Christmas Doo Tales


Rudy

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I organised one at the old Ridgway Arms on the A6 many years ago.

Anyway, all these lads were going outside then coming back in with soiled knees on their jeans. They just carried on boozing & drinking & eventually there were about 10 lads with dirty big black marks on their knees.

I wondered what was going on and eventually one of them told me that they'd been with 'Suzy' (made up name) on the bowling green & she'd been entertaining the lads for over an hour.

'Suzy' eventually came back into the room & sure enough, there were black stains all over the back of her white blouse. She just carried on drinking & dancing.

Landlord banned us. 🙄

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14 hours ago, SatanGreavsie said:

Didn't go to it. Don't even know if it really was an Xmas do. But it was on a day when most were happening, and getting the tube back from a late finish at work in London there was the usual Xmas carnage about. But as the train sat at Hammersmith to take me on to Acton Town I glanced out and sitting on a bench on the platform was a power-dressed lass, obviously back from some high-end works do in the City. Thing that struck me, and I can still picture even though it was 30 years ago, was the fact that she was deluged in sick head to toe. I don't mean a bit of splash-back or owt. It was as if she'd slumped back then projectile vomited directly upwards like one of Elon Musk's rockets and then had it fall to earth with the precision of one of his first stage boosters - but instead of a graceful landing, it had dispersed itself over every inch of her head, face and well-tailored suit -  and half the bench. 

Always wondered what happened to her when she came to her senses. Probably found an ex-miner from Leyth patting her down with a pack of Handy Andies and suggesting she come back to his B&B to clean up...

🤣

 

Like Popeye eating spinach

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54 minutes ago, Steejay said:

I organised one at the old Ridgway Arms on the A6 many years ago.

Anyway, all these lads were going outside then coming back in with soiled knees on their jeans. They just carried on boozing & drinking & eventually there were about 10 lads with dirty big black marks on their knees.

I wondered what was going on and eventually one of them told me that they'd been with 'Suzy' (made up name) on the bowling green & she'd been entertaining the lads for over an hour.

'Suzy' eventually came back into the room & sure enough, there were black stains all over the back of her white blouse. She just carried on drinking & dancing.

Landlord banned us. 🙄

So Suzy got her Christmas stuffing eh 

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3 minutes ago, ErnestTurnip said:

One year I woke up in my mate's single bed with him at the side of me and realised I was wet through and it wasn't me who'd wet myself (he did have a reputation for doing it after a good drink).

Just for clarity we were both fully clothed.

Is your mate @little whitt?

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