$52,887,500...

[Youri McAnespie]

I was watching an early morning documentary on Sky Arts (hello sailor) about Christie's, Sotheby's etc.

Now I'm far from a philistine - I am a patron of the arts and artist both (multi-disciplinary regular artist and piss-artist nonpareil) but watching this, there was an auction a few years back and one version of the same subject sold for $52,887,500.

Was it:

Correggio - Leda e il Cigno (1530/31).

Or

Cy Twombly - Leda and the Swan (1962).

Have a guess which?

I can never decide in certain cases whether art sometimes robs the rich to feed the poor and artists laugh at rich fuckers being rinsed.

Then you hear of a Basquiat painting bought by a rich twat for $19,000 selling for $55m and come to the conclusion...

Rich twats always win, always.

Subprime crash - win.

UK Bailout - win.

Brexit - win.

Covid-19 Pandemic - win.

I'd say hang them - but the slime they ooze would ensure they slip the noose when dropped, they'd then quickly slither down a nearby drain to freedom.

😡

If you haven't guessed it was the latter painting.

I've done better but don't have the bullshit patter to hoodwink the movers and shakers.

 

[Tonge moor green jacket]

How do rich people get rich in the first place?

If someone is daft enough to pay that money for some scribblings, its up to them. 

Favours a mouse anyway. 

[Sweep]

@Youri McAnespiepicture of Kevin Nolan doing some pointing is better than that second effort

[Spider]

The highlight of my honeymoon in Tuscany (aside from some sodomy in a sunken marble bath) was a visit to the Uffizi in Florence. It was the reason I chose to go.

Gentile da Fabriano's Adoration of the Magi, several Boticelli's and of course a number of works by Da vinci & Michealangelo simply blow you away.

The Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam is also an absolute wonder.

 

Art, of course, is subjective. But things like the painting above - which is clearly the work of a demented grown up or a talentless toddler - is bullshit no matter which way you dress it up. "It generates passionate reactions" cry the thin men in winklepickers. No, lads, it's fucking dogshit.

Proper art, art that sends the creator to the madhouse, or that takes a lifetime to acheive, is the real deal, and justifies the pricing.

 

For clarity, the scribbled fingermouse is fucking rank and if I was a billionaire I'd buy it and set fire to it on live television.

[Youri McAnespie]

29 minutes ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

How do rich people get rich in the first place?

If someone is daft enough to pay that money for some scribblings, its up to them. 

Favours a mouse anyway. 

I begrudgingly give a tiny amount of kudos to the super-rich such as; Jobs, Gates, Bezos, Musk, Zuckerberg et al for actually innovating/inventing things that made them prosperous, even if I think their creations are poisonous. I despise the bean-movers like those fuckers in 'The Big Short' - folk you'd walk past in the street but whom can pay a tenth of half a billion dollars for some scribble that wouldn't have made 'The Gallery' on Vision-On or Take Hart...

In fact Morph or, more likely, Chas would've ripped it into shit-tickets and wiped his plasticine ringpiece with it.

The hedge-fund bastard owner will probably flog it for 3x what he paid in about five years...

@Sweep

The original of 'Retniop haA hoO' is now up for sale btw, bidding starts at £6.99 and a six pack of Mint Club Biscuits.

Edited January 15, 2021 by Youri McAnespie

[stevieb]

I think this might be the thread that unifies the forum. 

Outlying chance that NiC is that much of a luvvie he thinks mouse scribbles are proper art. 

Also every chance Cheese is his usual contrarian. 

I think everyone else is right behind you Youri in that shit "art" is just bollocks. 

[Spider]

1 minute ago, stevieb said:

I think this might be the thread that unifies the forum. 

Outlying chance that NiC is that much of a luvvie he thinks mouse scribbles are proper art. 

Also every chance Cheese is his usual contrarian. 

I think everyone else is right behind you Youri in that shit "art" is just bollocks. 

Let's be clear

Tracey Emin. Not art.

Homer Simpson smashing up that BBQ is better than anything she's ever done. I absolutely begrudge her every single penny she's "earned" from wheeling her fucking bed into an empty room and charging attention hungry Japs and snooty students to smell it.

 

[Youri McAnespie]

Most modern artists can create 'traditional' art, yer Picasso or even Tracey Emin could knock out 'proper' stuff.

I bet Cy Twombly couldn't have done a decent drawing with a gun to his head.

That said I like most modern art.

Such as...

But there's a lot of shite out there.

Especially the 'production line' stuff.

Loads of porcelain sunflower seeds - shite.

[Spider]

Bollocks. If Emin tried to recreate the Birth of Venus it would end up looking like a lazily rendered fish supper.

Plenty of modern stuff is decent (and of course worthless until the creator goes for a bath with the toaster having nailed a pigeon to their face), but the shit stuff is, and will always be, shit. No matter the price tag.

 

 

[Spider]

For the purposes of Battlenips, 46, 49

[Tonge moor green jacket]

I agree re Tracey Emin's bed- but if folk want to ogle over it and pay loads for it, then good luck to them. And to the artist who is laughing all the way to the bank.

Good luck too, to fund managers et al. Found their niche. If some illegal activity comes along then feed then to the cats.

[Rudy]

All subjective and with context otherwise all art will look shit. 
 

I do like a Banksy but it’s more the mystery of the man. Unless it really is Tricky from Massive Attack

[Youri McAnespie]

1 hour ago, Rudy said:

All subjective and with context otherwise all art will look shit. 
 

I do like a Banksy but it’s more the mystery of the man. Unless it really is Tricky from Massive Attack

He's supposed to be the son of a Baron or sommat, in his late-forties, perhaps early-fifties now.

I once went to a housewarming party of a mate and his missus, their first home (together) - it was their first full day in the house after moving in, they'd paid extra for the previous owner to leave loads of his stuff as stop-gap furniture and fittings until they could replace it with stuff of their own taste, it was all very early noughties eighties revival crap - but it filled the house and was functional.

On the wall there was a large Banksy print in an incongruous and hideous bulky pine frame...

This one ^.

I put on my critiquey arsey class traitor head on and, with merciless booze-fuelled verbal precision 😉, eviscerated; Banksy, Banksy fans, the framer and the buyer - whom I presumed was the former owner. 😀

"He's a sixth form poet - no, he's worse given he's nearly three times their age", "talentless twat", "posho tourist", "secret millionaire" amongst other slurs and ending with "What kind of wanker would buy that? A middle-aged mid-life crisis wanker who still smokes dope, has a yoghurt weaver wife and buys Banksy prints to impress the 17 year old he's teaching media studies/shagging on the side, that's who..."

I then slumped down, smug and self-satisfied among the unopened cardboard boxes and tea chests...

My mate:

"It's ours - it's the first thing we bought together, the first thing we unpacked..."

They hadn't even assembled their bed ffs.

I didn't roll back, but I didn't linger.

That said, if some youth club or similar can rinse some rich bastard for £X for a pile of breezeblocks daubed with a clumsy comentarii stencil then fair play.

However, the rich arse will sit on it like some malevolent humpty dumpty for ten years or so then flog it for ten times what he paid.

That's why Banksy is Wank(sy).

 

Edited January 15, 2021 by Youri McAnespie

[Tonge moor green jacket]

Just like our pension schemes then.

[Youri McAnespie]

21 minutes ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

Just like our pension schemes then.

I ain't got one - I'd rather trust a snake to look after a pet mouse.

Bricks and mortar (hopefully land one day), bullion, collectibles, vinyl (and other rarities) and investment in 'people' is my bag.

If that goes tits up I'll just knock out space drugs and pimp out space hooers in my dotage, or live in a skip (in Hawaii or a Canary Isle).

Edited January 15, 2021 by Youri McAnespie

[Tonge moor green jacket]

34 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I ain't got one - I'd rather trust a snake to look after a pet mouse.

Bricks and mortar (hopefully land one day), bullion, collectibles, vinyl (and other rarities) and investment in 'people' is my bag.

If that goes tits up I'll just knock out space drugs and pimp out space hooers in my dotage, or live in a skip (in Hawaii or a Canary Isle).

Works of art maybe...

[Benny The Ball]

On the subject of Art - Anybody see this - was sold at auction  yesterday 

An Original artwork for A TinTin book cover from the 1930s -Went for a world record price for comic art of £3.2 million https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-55667043

Apparently " The illustration was painted using gouache, ink and watercolour and shows Tintin and his dog Snowy hiding in a porcelain jar."

Now I used to love "Herge's adventures of Tin Tin " as a lad - great series , but does that illustration in any way resemble the Tin Tin i remember  ?

Looks more like Kim Jong Un to me ? 

[e2e4]

theres some good paintings in bolton museum. 

there were a JMW Turner one in i thought were amazing , dunno if it were theirs or theyd borrowed it. 

it werent that big, either. 

and the Thomas Moran one , i couldnt believe how big it were. but thought the smaller one next to it was great, but when i got home forgot which it were. 

hmm ..

[Not in Crawley]

3 hours ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I was watching an early morning documentary on Sky Arts (hello sailor) about Christie's, Sotheby's etc.

Now I'm far from a philistine - I am a patron of the arts and artist both (multi-disciplinary regular artist and piss-artist nonpareil) but watching this, there was an auction a few years back and one version of the same subject sold for $52,887,500.

Was it:

Correggio - Leda e il Cigno (1530/31).

Or

Cy Twombly - Leda and the Swan (1962).

Have a guess which?

I can never decide in certain cases whether art sometimes robs the rich to feed the poor and artists laugh at rich fuckers being rinsed.

Then you hear of a Basquiat painting bought by a rich twat for $19,000 selling for $55m and come to the conclusion...

Rich twats always win, always.

Subprime crash - win.

UK Bailout - win.

Brexit - win.

Covid-19 Pandemic - win.

I'd say hang them - but the slime they ooze would ensure they slip the noose when dropped, they'd then quickly slither down a nearby drain to freedom.

😡

If you haven't guessed it was the latter painting.

I've done better but don't have the bullshit patter to hoodwink the movers and shakers.

 

That's not the point though. Philistine.

[Spider]

1 minute ago, Not in Crawley said:

That's not the point though. Philistine.

Go on.

Tell me what’s “art” about an empty room with lights switching on and off.

 

[Not in Crawley]

6 minutes ago, e2e4 said:

theres some good paintings in bolton museum. 

there were a JMW Turner one in i thought were amazing , dunno if it were theirs or theyd borrowed it. 

it werent that big, either. 

and the Thomas Moran one , i couldnt believe how big it were. but thought the smaller one next to it was great, but when i got home forgot which it were. 

hmm ..

Its Bolton's, its not from a national collection, if its the fonthill abbey one.

[Not in Crawley]

1 minute ago, Spider said:

Go on.

Tell me what’s “art” about an empty room with lights switching on and off.

 

Nope, not going there. Not got the  inclination and social media forums are not the place. Happily discuss over a pint or three when the lockdown ends.

It's not for me - or anyone else to say - what is art and what isn't. Or what indeed art actually is, what we mean when we discuss it collectively or what it means to us individually.

In my new job I work with art galleries all day long and I'll be fucked if I can be bothered chatting about it on here. Anyway, its year end and I'm putting off doing my accruals, so if you'll excuse me.

 

 

[Dimron]

Try to get a copy of Shaun Greenhalgh's "A Forger's Tale"

Its a good read, he put the art industry in it's place, was it a De Vinci or Sally from the Co-Op?

[Cheese]

3 hours ago, stevieb said:

I think this might be the thread that unifies the forum. 

Outlying chance that NiC is that much of a luvvie he thinks mouse scribbles are proper art. 

Also every chance Cheese is his usual contrarian. 

I think everyone else is right behind you Youri in that shit "art" is just bollocks. 

Couldn't give a flying fuck what people think about art or how much any particular piece is worth. Each to their own innit.

[Youri McAnespie]

8 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

That's not the point though. Philistine.

That's why; Banksy, Emin, Hirst, Koons, The Chapman Brothers, Hockney or the 'dissident' Al WeiWei (net worth $18m) etc. live in penury...

Their ill-rewarded baring of soul will only be recognised when they peg it, alas too late to enjoy earthly delights money can buy...

Anyhow, I am an artist not a pimp, I'm not being chastised by someone who's unashamedly praised, on numerous occasions, the unwanted bastard child of The Arts - namely 'musical theatre'...

I'd put my shittest canvas up against that turd by the charlatan that was Twombly...

In fact I bet I could knock up a lost 'masterpiece' by him before kickoff against Cheltenham Town tomorrow.