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Worst holiday memory


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Paying good money for a ladyboy in Thailand then realising it had had the full OP.   fewwwwming 

There’s a movie in there

I once followed through in the queue for Pacha! 😁

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Never really had a shit holiday memory but the worst I felt was on a football trip to Germany in May 1986.

Bolton played at Wembley, first time since 1958 and no Internet etc.

As it happens, we played and beat a very good German team 3-2. They had an excellent blonde goalkeeper by the name of Oliver Kahn. Could tell then he was going to be special. He was a few years older than me, we had a team of 12-16 year olds and so did the team we played. 

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Never had a bad holiday but watching a bloke die next to me on a bus in Namibia was quite a shock.  I ended up closing his eyes and mouth before his wife arrived so he looked more at peace than a staring corpse. 

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8 hours ago, Duck Egg said:

Never had a bad holiday but watching a bloke die next to me on a bus in Namibia was quite a shock.  I ended up closing his eyes and mouth before his wife arrived so he looked more at peace than a staring corpse. 

@stevieb you’re in second place pal.

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9 hours ago, Duck Egg said:

Never had a bad holiday but watching a bloke die next to me on a bus in Namibia was quite a shock.  I ended up closing his eyes and mouth before his wife arrived so he looked more at peace than a staring corpse. 

Please tell me you told others on the bus “don’t talk to my friend, he’s dead tired”.

Please.

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10 minutes ago, Spider said:

Please tell me you told others on the bus “don’t talk to my friend, he’s dead tired”.

Please.

I was thinking a weekend at bernies thing, and kept getting his all inclusive food and booze

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19 minutes ago, Spider said:

Please tell me you told others on the bus “don’t talk to my friend, he’s dead tired”.

Please.

That got a genuine :lol:! 

We were in the middle of nowhere and had to wait ages for the local Police to turn up.  2 blokes in shorts and flip flops, 1 in a Chelsea shirt didn't inspire much confidence.  I suppose I should be grateful I wasnt fitted up for his murder! 

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Funniest memory I have that could have been very bad for Mrs Manc was in Cancun when she got utterly bladdered one night

Got woken up in the middle of the night when the hotel room door slammed open. Found Mrs Manc stood outside the lift in nowt but a bra. She’d gone for a piss. She was trying to get in the lift to relieve herself

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My Owd fella on the walk back from the bar pushed my fully dressed Mam into the pool. She was absolutely livid, never seen her as angry. Didn’t speak to him for 3 days 😂

 

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20 minutes ago, Rudy said:

My Owd fella on the walk back from the bar pushed my fully dressed Mam into the pool. She was absolutely livid, never seen her as angry. Didn’t speak to him for 3 days 😂

 

Only 3 days? Mine would be 3 weeks 🤣

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26 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said:

Only 3 days? Mine would be 3 weeks 🤣

I found out last year that he ironed a guy flat out for grabbing me mams arse in Corfu 😂

Hes a legend 

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Stevie wins. The 'win her back karaoke performances' had me proper giggling.

Not one of mine but a friend of a friend went to New York for a long weekend. They get there and he tells her he needs tomorrow afternoon to himself.

She's imagining him shooting off to Tiffany's to buy a ring and a proposal that night in a swanky restaurant.

Turned out he just went for a wander and a couple of beers on his own.

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I went to the Algarve about 14 years ago. Missus was in bed after too much sun, so I just went on a mooch by myself. Went past this apartment block a short distance from a restaurant (imagine the length of a GPS garden), anyway there was this kid just wandering about; she must've been about 3,blanket wrapped around her. I asked if she was OK, and it turned out she was a scouser. I assumed she was selling some gear or summat, so I just shook my head and pointed to this German looking bloke in the shadows. 

 

Fuck me, I've not heard the last of it

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4 hours ago, Dr Faustus said:

I went to the Algarve about 14 years ago. Missus was in bed after too much sun, so I just went on a mooch by myself. Went past this apartment block a short distance from a restaurant (imagine the length of a GPS garden), anyway there was this kid just wandering about; she must've been about 3,blanket wrapped around her. I asked if she was OK, and it turned out she was a scouser. I assumed she was selling some gear or summat, so I just shook my head and pointed to this German looking bloke in the shadows. 

 

Fuck me, I've not heard the last of it

i shouldn't but 😂😂😂

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6 hours ago, Dr Faustus said:

I went to the Algarve about 14 years ago. Missus was in bed after too much sun, so I just went on a mooch by myself. Went past this apartment block a short distance from a restaurant (imagine the length of a GPS garden), anyway there was this kid just wandering about; she must've been about 3,blanket wrapped around her. I asked if she was OK, and it turned out she was a scouser. I assumed she was selling some gear or summat, so I just shook my head and pointed to this German looking bloke in the shadows. 

 

Fuck me, I've not heard the last of it

You’re a bad bad man 😂😂😂

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14 hours ago, Dr Faustus said:

I went to the Algarve about 14 years ago. Missus was in bed after too much sun, so I just went on a mooch by myself. Went past this apartment block a short distance from a restaurant (imagine the length of a GPS garden), anyway there was this kid just wandering about; she must've been about 3,blanket wrapped around her. I asked if she was OK, and it turned out she was a scouser. I assumed she was selling some gear or summat, so I just shook my head and pointed to this German looking bloke in the shadows. 

 

Fuck me, I've not heard the last of it

Did you not mention it to the throngs of people going back & forward to their apartments to check on their kids? 🤔

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This thread is absolute gold.

Sadly (or fortunately?) I don’t have much to contribute other than doing a couple of lengths in the pool one year, pausing at one end to check the time by getting my phone out of my pocket... 🤦🏻‍♂️ 

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