I pushed the dinner plates to one side, polished off the glass of Chianti, and gazed manfully into her eyes as the sound of Adele gently caressed our ears. I just knew I was in for a damn good tromboning that night.
Nah, that's not right.
I took her in the bushes behind the Tesco car park. After a bout of vigorous finger-sex she couldn't wait to hose me down with some natural champagne...