Peter North

Write down your "Elevator Speech" on a cue card and damn well practice saying. They will ask you to tell them about yourself, so tell them every positive about yourself within a minute. Practice it again so it is in your head. Stick to this this. Q:Why should we give give you the job. A:Because I'm the best candidate that you have interviewed for the post. I am the ideal person for the job!

I'd boil her knickers and drink the soup!

i have just lost track of a good part of my life. I am wee-ing myself with that. Awesome link!

Well, as Happy says, based on that performance, we will rip the scousers to shreds... I shit you not!

It was a game of two dodgy defences to be honest. Whilst City have Tevez and the new lad, neither managed to get a goal. Despite all the hype. In the long run, I would be more worried as a city fan than a Bolton fan with that performance. When they come up against a 'top four' team, then they are likely to be found out big time. As for their fans, well.. fur coat and no knickers springs to mind. White Trash with Cash, that is all I have to spout on the matter.

Try the personals section on Craigslist. Now that is the kind of place Little whitt would trawl around!

Most likely. That is where I entered the world, and it is proudly in Bolton!

Make sure you shave and trim your nose and ear hairs, so you don't look like a throwback. Make sure your hands look nice - No lady wants to be fingered by a chimp. Give yourself a splash of some nice aftershave, but don't overdo it. Wear clean clothes, no stupid t-shirts. Smile when you meet her, tell her she looks nice, Buy the drink for her. Don't talk about politics, sex, football or WW... No smutty or offensive jokes. and bingo! Cracking trick - tell her you want to go and buy some new aftershave and get her to take you shopping for some. Works a treat. ?20 please!

Boiling Hot. Loads of traffic jams on the M25. Stuck on a coach with no toilet all the way through south London. Got to the game, got me seat and promptly fell asleep aled-up and slept through most of the bloody game!

It's all about eating loads of carbs now, sorting your diet and bodily functions out, and then having a few 'fun runs' somewhere a little bit different - a bit of off-road stuff, and and early Sunday morning run etc.

The Council? GMP?

Now if we get down to the real issue, Ranvir Singh. My God, I bet she is filthy , in fact I just know it! (somehow ww wouldn't let me upload a pic. Yeah I know the rules!)

Does Simon Dempsey exist? I think not! Great wind-up site though!

Raworth - She's a man-beast! Sian Williams or Susannah Reid ..or both. Hmmm!

Looks like Badly Drawn Boy.. from Viz.

Everybody, enjoy it while it lasts. 10 years since leicester. Hmmm

0-1 Klasnic with a scabby goal in the 70th minute + QPR lots of goalmouth action, but Jussi saves the day! Hopefully.

At least one good thing came out of last nights silliness, Liam Gallagher's shop got well and truly trashed!!!

One burning question now... Who has the best rioters? North or South?

Total Dicksniffer Why oh why do they give such uneducated filth the bloody air-time? Sky news is as much to blame Voyeur TV at it's worst!

Word on FB is Tyrone Mears! Hmm.

Foot Traffic on t'other side is dead good. They have a treadmill so they can do your gait analysis!

Get kitted out in proper runner shoes definitely. Get a running water bottle, invest in some glucose powder- save a fortune on lucozade stuff Get a big tub of vaseline, some deep heat spray.. and some toe-nail clippers. You will be reet!

try Sabotage Times it's from the guys who created Loaded. Best online lads site by a country mile. Google it and see. Reet up your street! http://sabotagetimes.com

Shite: That's our season down the tubes!