Youri McAnespie

As a Marxist Leninist I believe in public service, and until covid I spent about twelve weeks a year overseas. Running in London? You must be have more soot up your schnozz than Dick Van Dyke's Sweep's brush. Manchester is about 13 minutes away now, the airport about half an hour away. When I work on site I can roll-out of bed half an hour before I'm due, shit, shave and shower, bit of breakfast and coffee and still be five minutes early.

Anyway, I get it some people want to live (and do more - such as commit incest) in places amongst their own; Royston Vasey, Trumpton, Camberwick Green, Little Lever, Breightmet, Horwich etc.

Oh, I forgot about all the domestic places of 'worship' that swerve Council Tax. 🙄

I'm not angry, I'm contemptuous...

There's one - on the outskirts (a mosque).

Only the best live in Horwich; the best shoeless racists, the best girlfriend scalders, the best incest practitioners, the best two bob dealers... As an aside why do criminals always sport grey jumpers - who started the trend?

No, we just liked bullying our physical and intellectual lessers. Der Untermënsch. I'd rather have no mortgage in BL3 and BL1 than run away to a former tip because I don't like brown people (Horwich Inbreds, not me). Horwich's 'finest'.

We used to pelt teen golfers with stones and jeer at them as they mooched up Glenside Drive with their gay trollies - especially Brooklyn landlord Davy's two spoilt bastard grandsons, although I have seen them at the match, not lately though.

Send the bugger back, and her little dog too (Sunak).

With one of his cigars as a makeshift strap on dildo? Iurgh Iurgh Iurgh, now then dutch go easy or you won't get a badge.

Just because you fucked a tranny in Thailand drunk and in the dark and woke up with her and noticed she had a bigger dick than you - let it go.

Neil Kinnock fell over on beach. John Smith pegged it. Ed Miliband ate a bacon butty awkwardly. Gordon Brown sold a big whisky bottle filled with pound coins. This caused a worldwide recession. Jezza Corbyn wore a Mao hat and likes Grime. Useless.

Think that answers MickyD's question he bummed her to death then did a Nielsen/Dahmer with her then stuck in the bath after five days to wash his spunk out then rang 999 and claimed he'd been in his campervan at BBC Television Centre doing Top of The Pops and found her in the bath dead when he went home.

If Sunak's wife is a billionaire and he doesn't have a pot to piss in alone, why's she with him? She could take her pick with her money, Brad Pitt would nob her now his acting work has dried up, yet she elects to be with a bosseyed midget who wears £2000 'sliders' with towelling socks. He got grade C in GCSE Maths (Sunak, not Pitt). He also has a micro-penis, Lindsay Hoyle told me that.

I felt snubbed - I was wearing arseless leather chaps ffs.

Both.

He abbreviated it to 'the Dutch' he had her clobber dry cleaned every month, probably to eliminate DNA and jizz. He lived with the Dutch (his mam not folk from Holland) well into his fifties when she pegged it - he had a caravan a mile or so away to do his noncing in. I reckon he bummed her.

Louis Theroux found viagra, condoms and booze when rooting around Savile's lair, even though Savile claimed to be teetotal. He had a mate who he openly referred to as 'Mick the Pills' - presumably the source of his viagra. Clueless Louis didn't twig.

Steph's Packed Lunch, another smogmonster gabbing with her, her off Dragon's Den - it should be subtitled, they make Gazza sound like Rees-Mogg. No mention of 'parmos', yet... Why do I have utter crap on for background noise? I dunno.

Yeah, because Rory isn't a pufter - he was shagging a lesbian tennis player, course he was.

I'd refuse to do that gay foot twist when teeing off, when I got on the circuit I'd use flimsy excuses to take a swing (punch) at Tiger Woods and Rory Gallagher or whatever, pair of wankers.

I wouldn't consider joining a bloody golf club, but I'd go on Mount field and I could drive balls like Tom Daly or whatever, sometimes they'd land on the sportshall roof, 300 yards easy with a three wood. I'd trespass on Great Lever and Farnworth Golf Course to hone my putting with a carrier bag of lager (and a putter), when I grew tired I'd have a Brian Clough style alfresco nap on a green. It's another sport for bums, blind drunk I was better than the members.

Almost overnight a cod from the chippy is now £4 and a third smaller in size - Brexshit, and two bellends were having a drag race, one obviously on the wrong side of the road - again, mark my words, some old gipper crossing the lane for catfood or small chips and peas or a kid going to retrieve a football or tenniser used for cricket will be mowed down. Utter cunts. Where are the old bill? Probably doing paperwork after nicking a baghead for stealing wine and sausages from Morrison's.

I had a skinhead, went to the gym daily and inadvisably was wearing a Stone Island denim jacket, it went to the charity shop the next day...I didn't get a sniff the cheeky buggers.