Work disasters

[gonzo]

Just arrvied at the aftermath of a lorry driver managing to shed his entire load of food and milk which was destined for the new premier inn in town.

Fuck knows how hes done it but town is a standstill while two big council street sweeper trucks sort it out as well as an army of council workers. Poor lad has got a right flap on

Got me thinking any disasters Ive had at work, can only think of in my old job setting 4 big ceilings out wrong at a massive office block in Leeds. Id done the first one and used my starting points on the next four thinking the rooms were the same size. 

Completely fucked it as the light system that was going in it had to bang on as it was over displays.  Cost me a weekend putting it right.

 

[royal white]

Not much of a disaster but One Bolton lad who many of us know on here was sent to paint the outside of a house (in Tonge Moor I think) the lady who was living there was surprised when she opened her door to see her house receiving a lick of paint and assumed it was her landlord who sorted it so she provided him with brews and biscuits all day. Just as he was about to finish a long hard days painting the landlord who had sent him to do the job turned up. Imagine his surprise when the house next door to the one he owned was now the best looking house on the street! 

[gonzo]

Got to be Uncle Albert 

[Tonge moor green jacket]

Clearing up a fly tip outside a house up Johnson Fold.

Last of the bags went in the van when a sorry looking dishevelled chap appeared quickly followed by a housing officer.

He's just been evicted and the bags contained all his worldly possessions.

[Ani]

Worked in Marketing for a Building Society so a few when typos were missed so 000s of brochures needed reprinting. 
One bloke did a mailing to about 80k  people but their address file was faulty and all 80k letters went to same person. 
My worse one was a branch promotion, we designed some mobiles to put up in the branches that moved round so would get peoples attention. Problem was that when the air conditioning kicked in at night the mobiles moved and set the alarms off in the branches. Police called to loads of branches and branch managers got out of bed at 2AM.  I was rather unpopular for weeks ! 

[little whitt]

in Liverpool in about 89             on  West Darby Rd 

Painted a   LowCost          (Remember Them owend by Safeway )

anyway me and a old bloke took us 3 days all done and Dusted 

Boss got a phone call When your lads starting our Shop on West Darby Rd 

We Had Only Painted The Wrong One 

there was Another one about 500 Meters  down the Rd 

[London Wanderer]

Once let out a fart when covering a reception class for a colleague. The silent but deadly kind, one of the worst kinds, when you know there's something up down there. Hadn't been smelly in yonks so had no reason to believe there would be a problem. Nothing to worry about though - they're all doing the same and are oblivious are that age, happily playing with dinosaurs.  

That's until the class teacher comes back much sooner as she's forgotten a file. She stops in her tracks, convinced someone has shit themselves. Now do I own up like a sound person would or sit back and watch as she goes around checking trying to figure out who's had the accident? 

Went for the second option and chose to tell her on a staff night out instead. 

[boogs]

Place where I served my time, engineering, used to make big rollers. One type had cast aluminium ends that then had steel shafts sweat fitted in the centre. These castings were about 800mm dia x about a metre long. Old grufty welder put one on the gas burner fixture then used to sit down in an old arm chair he had in corner of his welding bay while they warmed up. 

Heard a load of screaming and shouting from the foreman one day when he had walked into welding bay to find half a casting in a puddle on the floor while the old boy was fast asleep in his chair. 😁

[mickbrown]

One forgot I had a generator on the back of my truck and tipped it at the landfill with  the garage we'd just demolished.

Drove off oblivious, genny never  be seen again.

Edited January 12, 2023 by mickbrown

[Not in Crawley]

150 thousand leaflets with the wrong number.

Never proof your own work when you can't spell.

[Dr Faustus]

I started my first managerial job about 20/22 years ago in the States for the FAA. After serving an apprenticeship in the North West of UK I was familiar with odd wind up- long stand, glass hammer, spotted paint etc... 

Some dickhead tries throwing me under the bus- fire drill on the first day... Yawn

Thought fuck that, but yeah... It didn't end well

Boss saw the funny side like- and I paraphrase 'shame on me... you can't get fooled again'

[FrancisFogarty]

I had about 3 tonnes of card cut to the wrong size for a particular printer. It was originally for prescription tablet boxes. It took me a while but I managed to sell the lot to a company who's main business was greeting cards and gift tags, and covers for paper back books.

Boss said 'you don't need a bollocking do you?'

[kent_white]

I once gave a patient heliox (mixture of helium and oxygen) instead of oxygen.

[Underpants]

I was once held hostage by a customer when I worked for a well known cable TV company.

[fatolive]

Once had the back bar of a pickup come off when I was towing a screed pump up Parliament Street in Liverpool  watched in horror as it rolled back down the street twatting into  cars and ended up embedded in a building at the bottom. 
caused carnage and loads of angry people surrounded me. Shit myself to be honest 
 

 

 

[green genie]

Back in 05 we were building a biomass plant at Kingsnorth power station in Kent which included a silo , 35m high by 15m diameter on eight legs.

I went to site and met project manager and site crew for topping out ceremony when it was complete.

”Very nice guys but did anyone look at setting out drawing?”

They had lined legs up on corners of octagonal base rather than on flats so the conveyors to and from it were in wrong place

Had to rent in the two 800 tonne mobile cranes usually used for train derailments at cost of over 20 grand to lift it and spin around. Actually spoke to Michael Fish the weatherman to pay for a localised wind forecast 

[Flannel Truscott]

16 hours ago, Ani said:

Worked in Marketing for a Building Society so a few when typos were missed so 000s of brochures needed reprinting. 
One bloke did a mailing to about 80k  people but their address file was faulty and all 80k letters went to same person. 
My worse one was a branch promotion, we designed some mobiles to put up in the branches that moved round so would get peoples attention. Problem was that when the air conditioning kicked in at night the mobiles moved and set the alarms off in the branches. Police called to loads of branches and branch managers got out of bed at 2AM.  I was rather unpopular for weeks ! 

Why have the air conditioning on at night? 

[Ani]

33 minutes ago, Flannel Truscott said:

Why have the air conditioning on at night? 

It came on automatically at a certain time, thinking about it was probably the heating and the warmer air set the mobiles off. 

[barryk32]

We were running late so didn't really bother with the pleasantries when we arrived and just walked past the homeowner with a quick "Morning"

He didn't say a word while we emptied all his furniture.

When we had done he plucks up the courage to ask why we are taking all his things 🙄

[Sweep]

I visited a factory a couple of years ago, and we got all full suited up in the required clothing, and entered the clean room facility - as I was still a bit pissed from the night before and also quite heavily jetlagged, I forgot to put my gloves on, so a few of us went into the clean room to have a look at the machines. Within a few minutes we could see people outside, banging on the windows and pointing at me and my boss. Not only did I not have my gloves on, but he didn't have his mask on.......we were quickly removed from the clean room, and there was much panic ensuing 

As we found out about an hour later, we'd potentially contaminated about $5M worth of ICs, they had to take the whole clean room off line and get it "cleaned" again and send all the ICs back to the Fab to be washed and checked 😁   -  total cost we were advised was upwards of $250K.

I am still dealing with that factory though, so they clearly forgave us

[Traf]

25 minutes ago, Sweep said:

I was still a bit pissed from the night before

That'll be on your gravestone, PPP

[Breightmet Boy]

I heard one of a undertaker who was on call and was called out to pick up a deceased body.  He decides to get his Wanderers shirt and jeans on and go straight to the game after his job.  He gets in work, he quickly gets changed into his suit and leaves his clothes on a chair in the locker room.  When he arrived back a hour or so later his clothes were gone, so he asked a colleague where they are and he said "I've just dressed Mr X in them, I thought the family had brought them in for him"   The undertaker then undressed MrX and went straight to the game 😆 

[Flannel Truscott]

6 hours ago, Ani said:

It came on automatically at a certain time, thinking about it was probably the heating and the warmer air set the mobiles off. 

I was hoping for some secret hot night time banking 

[Spider]

Lad I knew years back got a job as a porter on nights at Bolton Hospital.

He was 3 nights into the job when he was asked to take a dead body from A&E down to the mortuary.

It had been there for several hours and they’d waited until the middle of the night so there’d be less people around, common apparently.

Anyway, he’s pushing the body down the corridor when one of the arms of this body starts to move upwards.

He immediately shat himself and in his panic pushed the trolley away and turned to run back to A&E to get a doctor.

On finding a doctor and nurse, they ran back down the corridor only to find he’d pushed it so hard it had gone most of the way down past several wards, and finally hit a wall where the body had toppled off onto the floor.

The doctor, after calming him down, explained what rigor mortis was and that sending a corpse half a mile down the hospital at 20mph wasn’t a great way to do things.

He was asked to leave the day after.

[MickyD]

7 hours ago, Breightmet Boy said:

I heard one of a undertaker who was on call and was called out to pick up a deceased body.  He decides to get his Wanderers shirt and jeans on and go straight to the game after his job.  He gets in work, he quickly gets changed into his suit and leaves his clothes on a chair in the locker room.  When he arrived back a hour or so later his clothes were gone, so he asked a colleague where they are and he said "I've just dressed Mr X in them, I thought the family had brought them in for him"   The undertaker then undressed MrX and went straight to the game 😆 

One of my colleagues was asked to take a copy of the fingerprints from the deceased. We use a machine similar to those used by the police. Once done, the lid was sealed ready for the next day’s burial. Off we went and buried the deceased along with a few hundred pounds worth of fingerprint capture equipment. They only missed it a week later when it was next needed.

On the subject of burials, we did one where the coffin was photo-wrapped. The problem with photo-wrapped coffins is they don’t have handles (I think so no photos get covered by brassware) but during a burial, the handles keep the ropes in position. Unfortunately, if you don’t keep the coffin level, it falls off the rope potentially hitting the sides of the grave and ripping the lid off, revealing the body. Yes, that happened. Fortunately, the vinyl wrap made the broken lid spring back into place. None of the family saw a thing, fortunately.

Edited January 13, 2023 by MickyD