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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

Work disasters


gonzo

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As a young lad I got in from a night out, got changed and walked to work still very much the worst for wear from a combination of substances.

Arrived and was told to paint the factory floor red so cracked on and was in a world of my own and thinking everything was great with the universe until I eventually realised I'd boxed myself in and was stood stranded almost smack bang in the middle of the floor surrounded by wet paint.

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8 minutes ago, ErnestTurnip said:

As a young lad I got in from a night out, got changed and walked to work still very much the worst for wear from a combination of substances.

Arrived and was told to paint the factory floor red so cracked on and was in a world of my own and thinking everything was great with the universe until I eventually realised I'd boxed myself in and was stood stranded almost smack bang in the middle of the floor surrounded by wet paint.

😃 Brilliant.

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Did a summer with a pal who was joiner when I was 16, was doing a kitchen refit. Fitted everything and I got asked to do the handles on the cupboard doors. Instructions were to fit them them at the top right of the doors. So I did.
Used a stepladder for the wall units.

Proper proud if done a good job, until the old dear pointed out she couldn’t reach the handles. 

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3 minutes ago, superjohnmcginlay said:

Did a summer with a pal who was joiner when I was 16, was doing a kitchen refit. Fitted everything and I got asked to do the handles on the cupboard doors. Instructions were to fit them them at the top right of the doors. So I did.
Used a stepladder for the wall units.

Proper proud if done a good job, until the old dear pointed out she couldn’t reach the handles. 

Remember sawing a transom with your hacksaw upside down :)

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When I did websites had a client with a dedicated server to run their financial compliance business from, big deal sort of a site with 100s of clients who used the site daily to set up deals for their clients 

I accidentally left the server open one day and some hacker put Garfield the movie on there for the whole world to download 

The server was inundated with traffic So the hosting company shut it down and I spent my weekend restoring and rebuilding everything on a new server whilst the client lost ÂŁ000s

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Once went to a new patients house for a pressure area check.Asked if they was called Derek* Explained who I was, what I was there for, got consent, went into the house, they dropped their kecks. Not a single mark on their arse. Was pretty pissed off as the referal said it was bad. Filling in the paperwork and the patient was called into the kitchen by his wife by a different name. Then realised it wasn't the person I'd been sent to see. Completely wrong address. That was awkward. 

*Not his real name. I don't fancy being sacked. 

 

Edited by bolton_blondie
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5 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said:

Once went to a new patients house for a pressure area check.Asked if they was called Derek* Explained who I was, what I was there for, got consent, went into the house, they dropped their kecks. Not a single mark on their arse. Was pretty pissed off as the referal said it was bad. Filling in the paperwork and the patient was called into the kitchen by his wife by a different name. Then realised it wasn't the person I'd been sent to see. Completely wrong address. That was awkward. 

*Not his real name. I don't fancy being sacked. 

 

Tell me you’ve been moonlighting as a NaughtyNurse-O-Gram with telling me you’ve been moonlighting as a NaughtyNurse-O-Gram

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3 hours ago, bolton_blondie said:

Once went to a new patients house for a pressure area check.Asked if they was called Derek* Explained who I was, what I was there for, got consent, went into the house, they dropped their kecks. Not a single mark on their arse. Was pretty pissed off as the referal said it was bad. Filling in the paperwork and the patient was called into the kitchen by his wife by a different name. Then realised it wasn't the person I'd been sent to see. Completely wrong address. That was awkward. 

*Not his real name. I don't fancy being sacked. 

 

I'm Derek, and so's my wife

 

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Early 90s worked as a windscreen fitter, somedays it was a great job out and about in the sunshine and meet interesting people and get to drive and work on some nice motors.

Other times it was awful, freezing cold, Soaking wet and doing jobs for ignorant arseholes on shitty wrecks of cars, vans and trucks.

In them days (probably still can) you could tell the type of person from the car they had, now bare in mind this is circa 91 so someone with an XR2 for example was seem as a bit flash, a D reg montego owner was maybe a downtroden family man, and a Nissan bluebird man was probably a taxi driver from an Asian background and so on.

 

Anyway on a freezing cold very dark night you don't want to do a job for a volvo 740 estate type person, not only would they probably be a pretentious knob but Volvo 740 estate rear vent ( the small rectangular glass in the back door) were a bastard to fit , you normally had to strip all the door down, however if you could get the punter to fuck off you could cut the rubber seal top and bottom, slide the glass in and tuck all the seal back in, it might work a bit loose in time but you'd be well gone.

So very dark freezing night miles outta town, punted goes back in the house, you think right I'm not hanging about here. In goes a brand new Stanley blade, tight hold of the seal, goes through like a hot knife through butter and continues straight through jacket, jumper and t shirt and on through skin just under my ribs.

Claret everywhere, so your trying to finish of the job whilst heavily bleeding all down the side of a car and you clothing looks like a murder scene.

Job finished to best of your ability under the circumstance but you still gotta go in their house and do the paperwork and get payment.

Had to drive back to town and get stitched up, very embarrassing.

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