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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

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Posted

Another horny arachnid has just stomped clumsily into the living room and frightened the bejesus out of my daughter.

 

It's no exaggeration to say it's as big as a mouse. Well it was until it got sucked up into the Dyson and ripped into pieces.

 

What the fuck have they been feeding on all summer?

Posted

Another horny arachnid has just stomped clumsily into the living room and frightened the bejesus out of my daughter.

 

It's no exaggeration to say it's as big as a mouse. Well it was until it got sucked up into the Dyson and ripped into pieces.

 

What the fuck have they been feeding on all summer?

 

Conkers.

Posted

Another horny arachnid has just stomped clumsily into the living room and frightened the bejesus out of my daughter.

 

It's no exaggeration to say it's as big as a mouse. Well it was until it got sucked up into the Dyson and ripped into pieces.

 

What the fuck have they been feeding on all summer?

Fear. They feed on fear. 

Bid them a cheery "hello" and engage in conversation about the soaps or Xfactor and they'll be off faster than a tennis player from Bolty's lift.

Posted
One time I was about to go to sleep and saw this spider circling the ceiling above me.

Anyway I turned off the bedroom light thinking nothing of it, then soon realized I'd 

forgotten something and turned the light back on to see the spider descending down on a thread towards me. I grabbed the thread and placed the spider out the back door into 

the yard.

Anyway about a year later just before going to sleep I once again noticed a spider circling the ceiling above me. I turned off the light thinking nothing of it, then thought hang on,

and turned the light back on to see the spider again descending downwards towards me.

I threw it out in the yard again. Strange though, I wonder if it was the same

spider.

It was probably something the ex was involved with, she was devious enough.

Posted

Why do you kill them when they catch so many pesky flies?

Have to catch them and put them outside- maybe I'm part Buddhist

 

I agree, I'm not a big fan of them, in fact I scream like a girl when one is anywhere near me, I never kill them though.............I'd gladly murder a wasp though

Posted

Why do you kill them when they catch so many pesky flies?

Have to catch them and put them outside- maybe I'm part Buddhist

For a quiet marriage

 

Personally I'd leave them be, but she's shit scared of 'em and they HAVE TO DIE or they may come back inside apparently

Posted (edited)

For a quiet marriage

 

Personally I'd leave them be, but she's shit scared of 'em and they HAVE TO DIE or they may come back inside apparently

This is where you need to watch jaws II together, and explain it was based on spiders... Slay mama spider, and junior will avenge her Edited by Dr Faustus
Posted

I agree, I'm not a big fan of them, in fact I scream like a girl when one is anywhere near me, I never kill them though.............I'd gladly murder a wasp though

Agreed. Perhaps these here homing spiders from Jules' missus could be trained to become wasp destroying machines. Could sell them in garden centres

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