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Wanderers Ways - passion not fashion

Hunting Cats (In The Home)


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Cats are cunts.   You deserve everything you get to be honest.

All gingers should have their nuts nipped.

Talking of cats.....   About thirty years ago, my parents were having new windows fitted and we thought the house was haunted due to a bizarre incident.   My uncle fitting the windows, put putty i

  • 5 months later...

Had to laugh just now, sort of.  My mrs came down stairs looking white and could barely speak . . .

 

Anyways, last week during the mega hot weather the cat woke her up middle of the night scrabbling round the back of her head (our bed broke recently so we are on a mattress on the floor) she thought he was after a moth or something.

 

Apart from her not sleeping much we thought no more about it.

 

She wouldn't tell me what was up but said would I please go and look under the mattress and remove what was there.  I thought it would be a big moth or a spider

 

Turns out it's a dead mouse or shrew that had been squashed to death by my mrs.  Poor thing must have squirmed under there trying to escape the cat only to be slowly crushed to death instead of mauled.

 

What wasn't so funny was when I pretended it was still alive and waggled the tail she whacked my arm spilling my whisky and smashing my Glencairn!

 

It stunk too!  New mattress, please

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Towser, then glenturret mouse catching feline is having a whisky named after her. You'll have to try a drop.

 

Will certainly check it out!

 

I may well lose an appendage if I buy anymore bottles of whisky at the minute.

 

One more today . . . eeek!

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We recently had a little bugger crawl into the isofix section of my daughters car seat before getting itself stuck. My car absolutely hummed for days and I spent a fortune on cleaning products. Luckily the dog was straight on it when I moved the seat out.

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Fucking hate cats. Three close neighbours have them and they all dig holes in my garden and shit in them. One even climbed in a big flower pot and shat in it

 

Seem to have solved the problem though. Bought a load of those thin sticks that you hold small plants up with. Broke em in half and stuck em in the soil. Saw one of the cats the other morning. Soon scarpered when it tried to squat and got a stick up it's ring

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Fucking hate cats. Three close neighbours have them and they all dig holes in my garden and shit in them. One even climbed in a big flower pot and shat in it

 

Seem to have solved the problem though. Bought a load of those thin sticks that you hold small plants up with. Broke em in half and stuck em in the soil. Saw one of the cats the other morning. Soon scarpered when it tried to squat and got a stick up it's ring

 

Olbas Oil.  Seriously.  Just sprinkle it around or Vicks

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