Mental Health/Depression

[gonzo]

1 hour ago, athywhite1958 said:

On that note mate, how is your kid doing?

Nearly 8 months in now pal. Up on his feet to an extent and walking/hobbling on crutches.

Left leg is healing really well. Heel breaks and fractures nearly there. 

The right leg is a different kettle of fish. The ankle breaks and foot breaks are doing well, the skin transplant too. However the major breaks further up his leg arent healing at all, in fact they are no further on than they were 7 months ago. All bolted together like, but the bones arent knitting.

Hes now starting a 4 month plan of ultrasound to try and kick start it, no idea how it works like but apparently it can get things going and hopefully get the bones to knit. If that doesn't work, its another major op in 4 months time.

To add insult hes always had a dicky big toe, arthritis the cause. But since hes stopped moving it, its like its sped up and is that bad its breaking the skin. This is probably going to lead to him having part of his toe off or wearing a special shoe way down the line.

Oh and hes suffering tarsal tunnel syndrome. Shooting nerve pain and all that caper.

Apart from all that hes sound mate

[L/H White]

2 minutes ago, gonzo said:

Nearly 8 months in now pal. Up on his feet to an extent and walking/hobbling on crutches.

Left leg is healing really well. Heel breaks and fractures nearly there. 

The right leg is a different kettle of fish. The ankle breaks and foot breaks are doing well, the skin transplant too. However the major breaks further up his leg arent healing at all, in fact they are no further on than they were 7 months ago. All bolted together like, but the bones arent knitting.

Hes now starting a 4 month plan of ultrasound to try and kick start it, no idea how it works like but apparently it can get things going and hopefully get the bones to knit. If that doesn't work, its another major op in 4 months time.

To add insult hes always had a dicky big toe, arthritis the cause. But since hes stopped moving it, its like its sped up and is that bad its breaking the skin. This is probably going to lead to him having part of his toe off or wearing a special shoe way down the line.

Oh and hes suffering tarsal tunnel syndrome. Shooting nerve pain and all that caper.

Apart from all that hes sound mate

tell him to run it off ffs 

[athywhite1958]

7 minutes ago, gonzo said:

Nearly 8 months in now pal. Up on his feet to an extent and walking/hobbling on crutches.

Left leg is healing really well. Heel breaks and fractures nearly there. 

The right leg is a different kettle of fish. The ankle breaks and foot breaks are doing well, the skin transplant too. However the major breaks further up his leg arent healing at all, in fact they are no further on than they were 7 months ago. All bolted together like, but the bones arent knitting.

Hes now starting a 4 month plan of ultrasound to try and kick start it, no idea how it works like but apparently it can get things going and hopefully get the bones to knit. If that doesn't work, its another major op in 4 months time.

To add insult hes always had a dicky big toe, arthritis the cause. But since hes stopped moving it, its like its sped up and is that bad its breaking the skin. This is probably going to lead to him having part of his toe off or wearing a special shoe way down the line.

Oh and hes suffering tarsal tunnel syndrome. Shooting nerve pain and all that caper.

Apart from all that hes sound mate

Cheers Gonzo, hope the bones start knitting before he has to have another op, hope he starts improving more

[Tonge moor green jacket]

Kinell Gonzo, mixed news on your kid.

He'll get there in time.

As for mental health- I reckon covid messes with the brain too- tiredness and some brain fog afterwards.

[tomski]

5 hours ago, gonzo said:

Psychology miles better than I was a couple months ago. Better weather and lighter mornings helped massively.

Still swimming against the tide with work, spinnning plates all over the gaff and working 7 days still. Can deal with all tiredness though. 

We march on.

Good man. RITP

[bolton_blondie]

13 hours ago, gonzo said:

Mental health awareness week apparently.

Hows everyone doing?

A million times better than 12 months ago. Thank christ 

[Cheese]

Always worth reposting this.

 

[Traf]

15 hours ago, gonzo said:

Mental health awareness week apparently.

Hows everyone doing?

What's the fuck's it got to do with you?

[stevieb]

1 hour ago, Traf said:

What's the fuck's it got to do with you?

EFL Club shop straightener... Wembley way 

 

 

[Tonge moor green jacket]

11 hours ago, Cheese said:

Always worth reposting this.

 

Not seen that before. Welled up a bit at the end. It's rather poignant.

[Tonge moor green jacket]

10 hours ago, Traf said:

What's the fuck's it got to do with you?

😁

[little whitt]

19 hours ago, bolton_blondie said:

A million times better than 12 months ago. Thank christ 

Amazing what a Good RUINING can do for you 

[Zico]

I could've posted this in this thread, the tv programs or quittign the booze, but this one will do

watched the battling addiction documentary on iplayer, with Matt Willis (who's in Busted and married to Emma Willis)

he's a former booze and drugs addict who's relapsed a few times

currently clean but lives in fear of falling off the wagon every day

which is grim

I've had periods of way too much indulgence in booze and weed, but fortunately not to the point it destroyed (or threatened to destory) my life and where I needed help/rehab

but not sure what would be worse, getting to that point, or then getting clean and constantly worrying about it all happening again

the thought of never being able to touch a drop or indulge ever again is depressing enough as it is, but knowing it's for the best is even more so

apparently there's been medicinal advances and research to come up with a drug that former addicts can take that should help reduce the chances of them relapsing

somethign to do with the reward part of the brain

interesting stuff if you think you're addicted to anything in any way

https://dana.org/article/how-addiction-hijacks-our-reward-system/

[Duck Egg]

I was sat in a jam on the M61 this lunchtime. Pissed off cos I wasn't going anywhere. Turns out some poor lass had jumped off one of the bridges.  Christ alone knows how bad you must be feeling to do something like that. 

Coincidentally, one of the blokes in that 3 dad's walking group had just been on Jeremy Vine.  Said he had no idea how his daughter had been feeling before she took her own life.  He'd accidentally pocket dialled her as she was on her way to kill herself. Apparently it's the single biggest killer of males under 35.

[Dr Faustus]

Almost started a new thread for this, cos I feel like an emotionless monster
 

My mum died a week ago. She’d been poorly for a while; was told the end was nigh… a week later I get a call saying her breathing had a changed; within 20 mins this was followed with a call saying she’d passed. I didn’t get there…

 

I flit between relief and anger; she’s not suffering anymore, she’s free… medics couldn’t have done anything… I’m angry with my family…

 

I’ve been asked constantly if I’m ok, and I am- sick of the faux empathy. I need to crack on. Got the death certificate today, feel the battle starts tomorrow trying to appease folk cos blood is thicker than water

 Is this normal?

[Winchester White]

Perfectly normal because there is no normal when it comes to grief.

Go easy on yourself and others.

Sorry for your loss.

[Zico]

7 hours ago, Dr Faustus said:

 

 Is this normal?

What I've found in life 

Is that whatever your feeling about something 

No matter how strange and alien it might feel 

Is that someone else has felt the same way too 

Which is why it's important to talk about it 

Because that in itself will make you feel better  

Don't bottle the grief up 

Sorry for your loss mate 

[Marc505]

8 hours ago, Dr Faustus said:

Almost started a new thread for this, cos I feel like an emotionless monster
 

My mum died a week ago. She’d been poorly for a while; was told the end was nigh… a week later I get a call saying her breathing had a changed; within 20 mins this was followed with a call saying she’d passed. I didn’t get there…

 

I flit between relief and anger; she’s not suffering anymore, she’s free… medics couldn’t have done anything… I’m angry with my family…

 

I’ve been asked constantly if I’m ok, and I am- sick of the faux empathy. I need to crack on. Got the death certificate today, feel the battle starts tomorrow trying to appease folk cos blood is thicker than water

 Is this normal?

It'll come in ways you (and others) least expect. Just cracking on and ploughing through can work but can also mean you hit the wall further down the line if you're forcing yourself to suppress anything.

There's no rules to it, every day is a challenge and a fight and it is absolutely shit. I'm sorry for your loss mate, and don't burn any bridges with people you may need them in time.

[SatanGreavsie]

46 minutes ago, Winchester White said:

Perfectly normal because there is no normal when it comes to grief.

Go easy on yourself and others.

Sorry for your loss.

Absolutely. My old mam passed late last year; I was due to set off on another visit to the hospital in Bolton (from th'east midlands) when I got the call. Different family members reacted differently; but you let that go as - as has been said - people deal with things in different ways. She wouldn't have wanted it to be catalyst for fall out. Take care.

[Dr Faustus]

cheers folks- we fell out years ago when my dad died; was accused of all shit. none of them have lifted a finger thus far, and just expect me to do it.

 

we were told to expect the worst a decade ago following a massive heart attack; she has been a shell of the person she was since, ad at the minute i just feel relief she isnt suffering. she didnt open her eyes in days, but i played music; i couldve sworn she tried singing along to the 'ra,ra' in rasputin; her lips barely moved, but they were in time

[Tonge moor green jacket]

Families are shitters at times, brill others.

As posts above have said, it's all normal, and go easy on yourself. 

May be worthwhile seeking some counselling if you are struggling: a non-judgemental stranger and a chat can work wonders.

[tomski]

Sorry for your loss @Dr Faustus

[batton carrier]

21 hours ago, Dr Faustus said:

Almost started a new thread for this, cos I feel like an emotionless monster
 

My mum died a week ago. She’d been poorly for a while; was told the end was nigh… a week later I get a call saying her breathing had a changed; within 20 mins this was followed with a call saying she’d passed. I didn’t get there…

 

I flit between relief and anger; she’s not suffering anymore, she’s free… medics couldn’t have done anything… I’m angry with my family…

 

I’ve been asked constantly if I’m ok, and I am- sick of the faux empathy. I need to crack on. Got the death certificate today, feel the battle starts tomorrow trying to appease folk cos blood is thicker than water

 Is this normal?

I Hope you are ok .

I lost my mum last year and it was the hardest thing . It really is hard  to process. I don't think I have felt as alone as I did then 

People asking you if you are ok does get to you . Of course you're not ok but you would feel worse if they didn't ask. People just genuinely don't know what to say. We are all pretty shit at finding the right words. 

Try your best not to get angry with your family even if they deserve it, now is not the time.The anger will pass

Death is a bastard and Grief is something we must all face at some point in our lives . But as others have said it is a very personal experience.

I hope you are ok

[MancWanderer]

Sorry to hear that @Dr Faustus

Nothing to offer tbh as family thankfully pulled together when my dad and my sister died. Hope it all resolves itself for your sake 

[gonzo]

Only just seen this. 

Hope you're battling through @Dr Faustus

Im 18 months in, trust me theres no manual on grief.

One thing I learned is to just accept the way you feel. Its like watching a horror film and expecing not to feel scared.

Dont waste time and precious energy trying to repress feelings you're meant to be feeling. Your mind is like any other organ, it goes in to shock and trauma like the rest of your body and tries to protect itself. You'll go through every emotion under the sun as it tries to balance one extreme againts the other.

Just roll your best with the punches mate, dont feel bad about being sad or angry at being angry. Its all natural and father time takes the edge off gradually. 

Theres also no manuals regarding families, when you're in the mixer, you think its just you're own, but its not...trust me its not. Every family has barmy issues that send you insane.

Worst thing you can do is try and address those issues in your current states.

Mourn your mum, get your head a bit better then you can sort the other stuff. Ducks in a row and all that.

Dont be smashing the ale either.

We are all here bud x