Site Supporter Spider Posted July 16, 2022 Site Supporter Share Posted July 16, 2022 Missus reckons I spend too long on the potty. I have my reasons, but surely ten minutes is a minimum? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deane koontz Posted July 16, 2022 Share Posted July 16, 2022 If it aint a ghost poo, 5 minutes tops. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deane koontz Posted July 16, 2022 Share Posted July 16, 2022 Ghost poos are 2 minutes just to be on the safe side Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobyBrno Posted July 16, 2022 Share Posted July 16, 2022 17 minutes ago, Spider said: Missus reckons I spend too long on the potty. I have my reasons, but surely ten minutes is a minimum? If you eat the right food, 2 min. Not sure what your reasons are though.😊 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolton_blondie Posted July 16, 2022 Members Share Posted July 16, 2022 I go in to hide from the kids. Little sods always find me though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marc505 Posted July 16, 2022 Share Posted July 16, 2022 20-30 mins is acceptable for me, unless the pins and needles kick in beforehand. The shat is deployed well before that, but there's few times and places on earth you'll get such solitary and peaceful moments to yourself. Catch up on a book or all the links to articles/videos you save on your phone to watch at some point in future. Beautiful. Come back downstairs lightened, enlightened, and with DVT. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Cheese Posted July 16, 2022 Site Supporter Share Posted July 16, 2022 (edited) Anything over 6 inches is getting a bit daft. Edited July 17, 2022 by Cheese Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burndens Bogs Posted July 16, 2022 Share Posted July 16, 2022 60 seconds tops Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boogs Posted July 16, 2022 Share Posted July 16, 2022 22 minutes ago, Cheese said: Another over 6 inches is getting a bit daft. Managed one that was touching the water before being crimped the other day. I was embarrassingly proud of such a feat and glad it was at work so I could tell some similarly childish folk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 If I’m in a rush it takes forever and a day, but if I’ve got all the time in the world 2mins. Oh, if I’ve not had a brew about 5mins, bit of a bugger if it’s not loosened up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L/H White Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 10-15 minutes for me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 Its my only place of sanctuary in the house. Can do 15 minutes easy. Im in here now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radcliffe white Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 Can’t beat a shit & some peace 20-30 mins is the norm for me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted July 17, 2022 Author Site Supporter Share Posted July 17, 2022 15-25 minutes is optimum. All the women I’ve known are in and out in under 3 minutes which I ascribe to 2 main reasons 1) they don’t have hairy arseholes so have less of a clean up operation 2) They need to get out of there so they can continue mithering the fuck out of some poor bloke or family members I have 3 books on the go at any one time on the bathroom shelf and I need to read at least a chapter whilst my cutter gets to work. But the one thing I can guarantee, is that one of my children will always, fucking always, need something from the bathroom The second my buttocks make contact with the seat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nowack Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 9 hours ago, Marc505 said: 20-30 mins is acceptable for me, unless the pins and needles kick in beforehand. The shat is deployed well before that, but there's few times and places on earth you'll get such solitary and peaceful moments to yourself. Catch up on a book or all the links to articles/videos you save on your phone to watch at some point in future. Beautiful. Come back downstairs lightened, enlightened, and with DVT. Hope you do a courtesy flush, sitting atop a bowl of floating faeces is surely going to dampen the solitary and peaceful moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Zico Posted July 17, 2022 Moderators Share Posted July 17, 2022 You've got to add on a couple of minutes to get completely undressed before and dressed again afterwards Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted July 17, 2022 Author Site Supporter Share Posted July 17, 2022 Just now, Zico said: You've got to add on a couple of minutes to get completely undressed before and dressed again afterwards I need to at least wear undies to act as a sort of ‘ledge” to rest my ding dong against to prevent it touching the bowl. Horrid feeling when that happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marc505 Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 18 minutes ago, Nowack said: Hope you do a courtesy flush, sitting atop a bowl of floating faeces is surely going to dampen the solitary and peaceful moment. Sometimes yes although the bed of bog roll I put in there first to prevent splashback is usually enough to mummify the beastly effluent until it's time to leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Wanderer Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 Been getting into the 'squatty potty ' technique recently. Best poos I've ever had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted July 17, 2022 Author Site Supporter Share Posted July 17, 2022 8 minutes ago, London Wanderer said: Been getting into the 'squatty potty ' technique recently. Best poos I've ever had. Your Kama Sutra is a bit more specialist than mine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter barryk32 Posted July 17, 2022 Site Supporter Share Posted July 17, 2022 The lad I work with has the weidest shitting technique in the world. Not only does he strip completely naked leaving his pile of clothes in the hall, my hall, he does this in my house. Also fuck knows why he doesnt just do this in the bathroom. He then stands on the toilet seat and squats down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted July 17, 2022 Author Site Supporter Share Posted July 17, 2022 5 minutes ago, barryk32 said: The lad I work with has the weidest shitting technique in the world. Not only does he strip completely naked leaving his pile of clothes in the hall, my hall, he does this in my house. Also fuck knows why he doesnt just do this in the bathroom. He then stands on the toilet seat and squats down. Does your mate scream Allah o Akhbar when he’s done? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter barryk32 Posted July 17, 2022 Site Supporter Share Posted July 17, 2022 1 minute ago, Spider said: Does your mate scream Allah o Akhbar when he’s done? No, but he also doesn't believe in toilet brushes either as they're 'disgusting'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not in Crawley Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 12 minutes ago, barryk32 said: The lad I work with has the weidest shitting technique in the world. Not only does he strip completely naked leaving his pile of clothes in the hall, my hall, he does this in my house. Also fuck knows why he doesnt just do this in the bathroom. He then stands on the toilet seat and squats down. Eh? Seriously? That's more mental than having a sitting down wee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Zico Posted July 17, 2022 Moderators Share Posted July 17, 2022 7 minutes ago, barryk32 said: No, but he also doesn't believe in toilet brushes either as they're 'disgusting'. I agree to an extent Especially white ones Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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