Q. What have Heather McCartney and Everton got in common?

 

A. The second leg is just for show

 

 

 

Everton have got a new club sponsor - Easy Jet. It comes with shirts which have "In and out of Europe in a few hours" printed on them

 

 

 

An old lady falls over outside Goodison and David Moyes goes over to help. He asks her if she can manage and she replies "P*ss off - I don't want the job!"

 

 

 

Q. How many Evertonians does it take to change a light bulb?

 

A. As many as you like - they will never see the light.

 

 

 

After Everton's poor start to the season, a fan nailed his season ticket to the club gates in disgust. The next day he had a change of mind and went back - but some b*st*rd had nicked the nail.

 

 

 

Rumour has it that the Board are appointing a new sponsor - Tampax. They thought it appropriate as the club were currently going through a very bad period.

 

 

 

Heard the one about the Evertonian who bought a Golden Goal ticket - when he opened it he found the word "October" printed in it.

 

 

 

Q. What's the difference between Nigel Martyn and a taxi driver?

 

A. A taxi driver only lets in four at a time.

 

 

 

Q. Why does David Moyes keep visiting Argos?

 

A. Because that's the onlyu way he'll pick up any Premier points.

 

 

 

Q. What's the difference between Everton and a tea bag?

 

A. A tea bag stays in the cup longer

 

 

 

David Moyes goes into a building Society to deposit some money. Whilst there, a robbery takes place and David is kicked unconscious during the struggle. In a few minutes he comes round, but is still very confused...."What, er, How, er, Where am I?" he mumbles. "Relax, you're in the Nationwide" says a paramedic. "Bloody Hell!" says Moyes, "Have I been asleep all season?"

 

 

 

David Moyes went to the Everton Christmas Party dressed as a pumpkin. By midnight, he still hadn't turned into a coach!!

 

 

Nice one, did you make them up yourself !?!?!

 

 

=;

sorry pabbers. they did make me chuckle.

 

 

you might get a deserved win soon though!!

sorry pabbers. they did make me chuckle.

 

 

you might get a deserved win soon though!![/quote]

 

 

Now that did make me chuckle!!