Thursday Joke

The Proper Way to Come Home Drunk

Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one; turns to the

other and says, 'You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go

home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I

"get to the driveway". "I shut off the engine and coast into the garage"

and take my shoes off before I go into the house. I sneak up the stairs,

and get undressed in the bathroom. Then I stick my foot in the toilet

and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I tiptoe into the

bedroom and ease into bed. My wife STILL wakes up, and yells at me for

staying out so late!'

His friend looks at him and says, Well, you're obviously taking the

wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the

steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my

shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap

her on the ass and shout, WHO'S HORNY?????!!! And she acts like she's

sound asleep!! It works every time!!!