BWFCOLINH58 Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 A bloke on his way home from work comes to a dead halt in traffic and thinks to himself, wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's moving." He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks: "Officer what's the hold up?" The officer replies: "It's a Man U fan, he's just so depressed about losing the premiership to chelsea, being knocked out of Europe and the prospect of winning f**k all after gobbing off all season, he's threatening to douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire. He says his family hates him, his mates are all laughing at him and he has never had a job. I'm walking around taking a collection for him." "Oh really?" says the bloke "How much have you collected so far?". "Only about 1/2 a litre, but a lot of people are still siphoning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggie Tate Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 A fella's pulled over for driving all over the shop and the copper gets out and asks him for a breath sample. The man says 'I've got asthma, I can't blow into that thing properly.' The copper asks for a blood sample instead. 'I'm a haemophiliac, you can't take any blood out of me.' The copper says 'OK then Sir, it'll have to a urine sample'. The man replies 'I'm a Manchester United shareholder, please don't take the piss out of me.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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