For everyone who has to work with THE PUBLIC.......

 

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get

through to enquiries, can you help?".

Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".

Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".

Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".

 

Samsung Electronics

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking

about".

Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that

I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone

Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".

 

RAC Motoring Services

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am

travelling in Australia?"

Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue?

 

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in

France):

"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel

to the other side of the car?"

 

Directory Enquiries

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".

Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"

Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B'

fell off".

 

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"

Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".

 

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone

box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up

the window to write the number on".

 

Computer Capers

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".

Customer: "OK".

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".

Customer: "No".

Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No".

Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this

point?".

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

 

Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you

see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

 

Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised

that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my

file back again?".

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?

 

Female customer: A white one...

 

----------------------------------------------

 

Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

 

Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?

 

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

 

Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..."

 

Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry

 

----------------------------------------------

 

 

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

 

Customer: Your left or my left?

 

----------------------------------------------

 

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?

 

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

 

Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and

 

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!

 

----------------------------------------------

 

Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

 

---------------------------------------------

 

Customer: I have problem printing in red...

 

Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?

 

Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

 

----------------------------------------------

 

Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?

 

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

 

----------------------------------------------

 

 

Helpdesk: And now hit F8.

 

Customer: It's not working.

 

Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?

 

Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening...

 

----------------------------------------------

 

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

 

Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

 

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

 

Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

 

Customer: OK

 

Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?

 

Customer: Yes

 

Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

 

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!

 

 

---------------------------------------------

 

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

 

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

 

----------------------------------------------

 

A customer couldn't get on the internet.

 

Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?

 

Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

 

Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?

 

Customer: Five stars.

 

----------------------------------------------

 

Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?

 

Customer: Netscape.

 

Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.

 

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

 

--------------------------------------------

 

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!

 

----------------------------------------------

 

Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?

 

Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you.

 

Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?

 

Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?

 

Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?

 

----------------------------------------------

 

Helpdesk: How may I help you?

 

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

 

Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?

 

Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?

excellent !!

must be an ellis? ( an ellis is when you think its a bextor but cant be bothered finding out if it has been previously posted)