My mother said

that I never should

never play with the naughty rude girls in the wood

Their giggling talk I could never understood

And thats why I fell in love with my right hand

 

(Chorus)

And thats why

I'm a gary neville

I'm a gary neville

And does it good like it bloody well should

I'm a gary neville

I'm a gary neville

And im always pulling my pudd

 

I was 25 years old

before I was kissed

and then I found the guy prefered

a swift one off the wrist

Its cheap and convenient

and you cant catch VD

Its avalible at anytime and its absolutly free

 

(Chorus)

And thats why

I'm a gary neville

I'm a gary neville

And it does me good like it bloody well should

I'm gary neville

I'm a gary neville

and im always pulling my pudd

 

Oh Mrs Palm

and your 5 lovely daughters

Thank you for having me

and being oh so kind

I've got pains in my arms

and my donkeys growing shorter

My knees have turnt to water

And I think im going blind

 

I've wanked over Italy

I've wanked over Spain

I've wanked in an omibus

I've even had a wank in a train

 

I've used a badger

and a melon

and a cat

a inflatable Linda Lovelace

and a David Crocket hat

 

(Chorus)

And thats why

I'm a gary neville

I'm a gary neville

and it does me good like it bloody well should

I'm a gary neville

I'm a gary neville

and im always pulling my pudd

 

Oh Mrs Palm

and your 5 lovely daughters

Thank you for having me

and being oh so kind

I've pains in my arms

and my donkeys growing shorter

My knees have turnt to water

And I think im going blind

Don't know who sang it originally but I heard Chubby Brown murder the song. He really is sh??te and doubt he has the talent to have written it.

Ivor Biggun if my memory serves. And I heard that it was the speccy bloke of That's Life, but I don't know if that's true.

 

Could be wrong.

No you are correct, it was the 'Doc' off That's Life

 

Bank were called Ivor Biggun and the Red Nose Burglars

 

Also did a track called 'I've farted'