Got a phone call at 1230am last night and had to rush a cat in to the 24hr animal hospital in Worsley. Cats not been feeling tip top lately and was in the vets last week. Anyway, waited an hour because some gold clad Pikeys were in with their "guard dog" and a young couple had a poorly puppy. Gets in and give's details to the vet then it was thermometer up bum (cat not me), a pill, an injection and a chat with the Belgium vet - ?106.00. The bill broke down as ?4 for the pill ?4 for the jab and ?98 for the consultation with Poirot, and he only told us what the vet told us last week.

 

Now I know it's out of hours but it is a 24hr animal hospital after all but feck me 106quid. Was hoping it was going to be around the ?60 mark. Anyway the thing was in a bad way, thyroid probs and water on the lungs if you must know, and is feeling a bit better now.. bastard!

 

Undies the 4th emergency service.

Edited January 30, 200818 yr by Underpants

Mate of mine had a dog that'd flaked out. Took it to the Vets and the guy told him it was dying and they could do nothing for it.

He asked for a second opinion and so the vet opened the door and a cat came in a had a look at it. Vet says 'Sorry, we can't do anything for you.'

'There must be summat'

So he opens the door again and a Labrador comes in and sniffs the dog.

Vet sez 'No, that's it I'm afraid'

'Ok, then how much do I owe you?'

'?1000.'

'A grand?? Bloody hell, why so much?'

'Well, the initial examination was only ?150 but with the Cat scan and the Lab test...'

3 dogs, a Doberman, a Boxer and a Labrador are sitting in a vets office and strike up a conversation.

 

The Doberman turns to the Boxer and asks, what are you here for?

 

"I'm a pisser", "I piss on everything", the sofa, the cat, the kid but the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owners bed.

 

So, what is the vet gonna do? the Doberman asks. "Lethal injection" came the sad reply from the Boxer.

 

The Doberman turns to the Lab and asked the same question.

 

"I'm a digger", I dig under fences, I dig up flowers and trees. I dig for the hell of it. When inside I even dig up the carpets, but I went over the limit when I dug a hole in the middle of the owner's couch.

 

So, what they gonna go to you? "Lethal injection," replied the Dejected Lab.

 

The Lab asked the Doberman why he was there.

 

"I'm a humper. I'll hump anything, I'll hump the cat, pillows, the table, fire hydrants. Whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just gotten out of the shower and bent down to dry her toes and I couldn't help myself and hopped on her back and started humping away.

 

The Boxer and Lab exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, lethal injection for you too, huh?"

 

No, No, the Doberman said. "I'm here to get my nails clipped."