Madrid - Tips, Hints And Do?s / Don?ts

Followers

December 27, 200718 yr

Hi Guys,

The following are the replies to questions from the Aberdeen fans about Madrid before their game in the last round. Whilst I appreciate that things might be all over before the 2nd leg (ducks rapidly) for those of you coming over these could be useful pointers.

If that doesn?t answer your questions simply post them here and I?ll try and advise as best as possible.

Yours in Sport,

Angus Macleod

December 27, 200718 yr

Hi Guys,
The following are the replies to questions from the Aberdeen fans about Madrid before their game in the last round. Whilst I appreciate that things might be all over before the 2nd leg (ducks rapidly) for those of you coming over these could be useful pointers.

If that doesn?t answer your questions simply post them here and I?ll try and advise as best as possible.

Yours in Sport,

Angus Macleod

Rivetting replies them McSporran. Keep up the good work.

December 27, 200718 yr

How much are whores and chan?

December 27, 200718 yr

Author

Drinking

(lets start with the important stuff :good: )

24hr drinking - Bars 0800 - 0400, Discos: 1200 - 0600/0700 & 0900 After Clubs (Special discos to go to when the normal discos close and shielded from all sense of time and light) 0600 - 1700

Beer - Non alcoholic inside the ground.... plenty of places to "tank up" before arrival at the stadium though...

Best bars: Plaza santa Ana, Sol, Gran Via, Alonso Martinez (Four distinct areas that blend into one big area)

Lagers (thats all they serve in Spain except for the Irish muck in plastic paddy bars) that are most common and in order from best to worst:

Alhambra

Mahou Classica (The green one)

Mahou 5 Estrellas (The red one)

Heineken .... Stuff gets everywhere

Wife beater, sorry Stella

Estrella damm

& finally that which I wouldn?t even wash my "Don Juan" in... and its been some bloody horrible places in its time.... CRUZCAMPO. Put another way this is the anti christ of Lager, it contains more gas than Coca cola, less "body" than an anorexic hunger striker, less flavour than a black pudding masquerading as a haggis on Burns night and it comes out the same colour it goes in. Christ, even a eunuch could get a lob on after twenty pints of this stuff....

Other interests

Gay: Chueca

Women: Natives are very unlikly to try anything on the first date.... Bobby Moores openly soliciting trade 24hrs a day.

Strip joints.... One: Teatro Oz (next to the stadium of the Vikingos)

English language

Madrile?os = people from Madrid

Madridistas = fans of that mob up the road

Anti Madridistas = My lot

English has been obligatory in the Spanish schools now for the last 20 years mandating at least 4 years of courses. The English level of those under 35 is very good however for those over this age French was what was taught. In the center you?ll find that most of the tourist shops, snack bars and hotels are in the main staffed by South Americans or Chinese / African imigrants. Here things are a little more hit and miss although a little sign language should be enough.

December 27, 200718 yr

Author

How much are whores and chan?

10? for a "turkey", 20? plus for the works

Couldn?t really say how good .... been known to get the job done though...

Gran Via (0001 - 0700) and Calle Montoya (24hrs) are the normal working hours, bank holidays and weekends included. Selection includes your standard East european compliment along with a hint of the exotic provided by those of African origin who?ve crossed the Straights of Gibralter. Genuine Spanish ladies engaged in the worlds oldest profession are hard to find save the type you would offer your shaving kit too before considering making a purchase.

December 27, 200718 yr

Author

Discos

****IMPORTANT: A club in Spain is a whorehouse. A disco is a nightclub. Always say "Disco"****

The infamous "Fontana de Oro" is the place for most.... 5? to get in with first drink free after 0300... before 0300 free to enter.... It?s not a Disco disco but more of a large bar with a dancefloor and dj... two levels. Tourist meat market always on the go.... Hookers there as well if thats your style.. Normally full of drunks... Its a typical Uk style club. Its also next door to a Salsa disco, Cuban disco Bar and two Irish / american student bar discos.... lets be honest if its casual dress code, cheapish beer and the possibility of finding owt, this is the area... Calle de la Victoria

Alternatively:

Calle de las Huertas & Calle Santa Maria.... There are a few hundred small places that are constantly changing their theme, grove and style monthly and the crowd tends to drift from one to another. You?ll be sure to find what you?re looking for in this area. Jazz, blues, punk, rock, electro, rave, house, hardcore and everything from frisky young fillies to coked up grannies...

Dress code:

For the more fashionable discos (Kapital, Joy, palacio etc etc) you?ll need shoes and a shirt on Friday and Saturady nights. Thursday nights and everywhere else its as you like. One thing to remember though is that the Spanish are a very well presented / dressy type of people so if you turn up in footy top, old jeans and trainers they?ll let you in but there?ll be little interest from the fairer sex... Thats assuming of sourse you?re not born ugly in the first place...

Concerts / theater etc etc

www.guiadelocio.com

Then Madrid.... Conciertos, teatros etc etc.... Its the bible!

December 27, 200718 yr

Author

Whooops.... Should have been in the beer section but regarding the availability of "Sangria"

---Nope, is 5hit they put out for the tourists on the coast...

What you want is:

Calimocho (red wine and Coca Cola... Get pished and keeps you going all night as well)

The typical "Beer Tower" is available in Alonso Martinez and is sold by the Meter (Approx 6 pints) at 8? a meter. The same with Calimocho is 12? a meter. With Rum / Whiskey / Voka and Coke 16?.... Of course if you do the manly thing and get the 3 Meter Tower it works out Cheaper (Its not actually 3 Meters tall but instead has a bigger diameter)