Talking of orange poo why when you have a heavy night on the guinness is you turd black and thick and yet when you drink orange or blue wicked they are normal light brown if somewhat a bit sloppy

 

Men drinking alcopops? I'm surprised you can even poo after drinking those as you're obviously an uphill gardener!

I've just had a letter through the door from a company called Convance. They want me to let them test drugs on me because I'm fat (they say potential treatment for obesity, I know what they are getting at though). I got a similar letter a few weeks ago and just dismissed it as junk mail but they have sent another saying they will pay me ?2100 for a weeks 'work' Now thats tempting

I know someone who did it, ?895 cheque for 3 days and put him up in a hotel, he took the pills each day as instructed then had a blood test. Now, the thing is you are entitled to know what they have in 'em, but half the "study group" will be taking the new pills, the other half a placebo, to stop people saying yes they feel great or feel worse etc. you find out after the tests what you took, turns out this lad was paid ?895 and 3 nights in a hotel for eating a mixture of flour and sugar, so he was in no danger from any side effects.

its another point to consider, that you might get the placebo and be paid for nowt really.

Men drinking alcopops? I'm surprised you can even poo after drinking those as you're obviously an uphill gardener!

funniest thing you've written for ages NB, most amusing