In HD is ace

 

and Lisa the lezzer has just been evicted

 

Get in

Mods, can one of you delete this filth

 

This is a family website

Mods, can one of you delete this filth

 

This is a family website

 

Final Friday and it's party time at mine yeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaa

 

Rodrigo to win

Final Friday and it's party time at mine yeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaa

 

Rodrigo to win

 

 

as long as that yorkshire faggot don't win i'm happy..

 

bear=bb fanatic..

I haven't watched any of it, but I sort of wish I had now after reading about that guy with the big sideburns.

 

Someone sent me a load of quotes, and some of his one-liners are fucking brilliant!

 

On Marcus:

 

?Do you know what, I?m the kind of hero who could probably teach my dick to suck itself, that?s how great I am?

 

?I?m the He-Man of comedy?

 

?I am the belle of the ball, I am the life and soul. Everyone wants to hang around with me, everyone wants to ride my incredible coat tails?

 

?What do you mean I need angler management. I don?t even like fishing!?

 

On an upcoming eviction:

 

?I could be thumbing a semi into a supermodel on Saturday?

 

?I?m going to buy a best of Rod Stewart album when I get home? for a change?

 

On a reportedly pregnant Sophie:

 

Marcus: Are you eating again?

 

Sophie: Yeah, just some chocolate

 

Marcus: Well, you?re eating for two now

 

?You fart, burp, steal things, you?re bald, you?re pregnant and you have one eyebrow?

 

?That face is not pretty. It looks like a doberman?s anus.?

 

 

On the contents of the food cupboard:

 

?Only two girls in here? why do we need all this fanny stuff??

 

On Piles:

 

?I feel like someone?s cut my arse cheeks open and put two golf balls of pain in there.?

 

On Bea:

 

Marcus: Bea..

 

Bea: Yes?

 

Marcus: Have you ever had a sexually transmitted desease?

 

Bea: No

 

Marcus: Bloody hell I thought you would have with amount of blokes you?ve piled through

 

 

 

Marcus: What would you offer me for a can of lager?

 

Bea: A blowjob

 

Marcus: Well I could get one of those anyway so I?ll keep my fucking can!

 

 

On Baths:

 

?The millions of fans at home know I?m the 100% man. I am the Irrepressible Dark Horse, if I want bubbles, boy you better fucking believe I?m gonna have bubbles!?

 

On his Mum entering the house:

 

?Skiving off work the lazy bastard?

 

?Old mingebag?

 

On Lucy Pinder:

 

?I think she?s pretty? she talks like a man, but? I can live with that? it?s not a deal breaker?

 

On BB9?s Luke and Bex:

 

?Those two are fucking losers? she was a Space Monster and he was a fucking drip?

 

On Money:

 

?I mean it?s not that I don?t think money makes you happy, but it can give you the means to make you happy, if you aren?t a very thoughtful person. I suppose I?m just lucky that things that make me happy don?t cost a lot, like, well I don?t know, I suppose sometimes naked ladies can cost a lot ? not prostitutes but just, you know, the cost of taking women out and flowers and shit.?

 

On Marcus:

 

?I am Captain Cool as Fuck?

 

Marcus: ?No, I?m not AN irrepressible dark horse. I am THE Irrepressible Dark Horse. I will not tolerate you making that mistake again.

 

BB: Would you care to elaborate on what makes you THE Irrepressible Dark Horse?

 

Marcus: *spreads arms* Film it? listen to it, live it and love it? there?s your elaboration.

 

?I am the yardstick against which all others are measured. You can?t get no one cooler. I was born to be the man. It?s done and dusted, set in stone. Whatever I do is cool. I breathe cool, I sleep cool. I shit cool. You can?t beat captain cool as fuck, it can?t be done?

 

?Yeah, thats why I drink puddle water and swallow my food whole without chewing, because my stomach juices are so strong and that.?

 

? My bladder tore open that night and I?ve been having trouble since. I don?t regret it.?

 

?I was put in this house as a piece of meat?

 

?I can scan a room in 10 seconds flat and make a weeks prediction of behaviour?

 

?I?m made of twisted steel and sex appeal?

 

?The ultimate karate test is I beat 100 men which took 4 hours and my hands and feet were blistered down to the bone.?

 

On his expectations of the Big Brother experience:

 

?It will be like a mini-Butlins?

 

On ?pulling? thanks to help from a fortune cookie:

 

?It said ?Saturday is your lucky day? and she got something which said ?bluebells? so he took her to a field of bluebells? and the rest is history?

 

On Sree:

 

?I could kill him with my eyebrow?

 

?I?ve got nothing to gain from smacking around a little pissant like him?

 

On John Barrowman:

 

?He?s a juggernaut of Saturday night TV?

 

On Tasks:

 

?I could pull that truck with my bellend?

 

On Tea:

 

Sophie: In Alice and Wonderland they had a tea party.

 

Marcus: I hate tea. Did they have Diet Pepsi and 7up at the teaparty?

 

Sophie: No.

 

Marcus: Well they were fucking wankers then.

 

On Nikki Grahame:

 

?She?s got nice long hair and acceptable breasts?

 

Before clapping inbetween press-ups:

 

?I don?t like these little peacock displays?

 

On eating a vanilla Magic Tree:

 

?I thought that something that smells so nice couldn?t taste that bad but it did. Proved myself wrong there.?

 

On Leona Lewis:

 

?It?s because of my girth? my girth? that she keeps bleeding?

 

On Noirin and Isaac:

 

?If they start having sex in the middle of the night, I will creep up with a spoon and whack him in the ball bag?

 

?Noirin reckons she doesn?t have any good storylines coming up, yeah, like she?s seen the fucking radio times??

 

?Noirin is my favorite girl, not just for the cooking but the tits, arse and face as well?

 

On Bea:

 

Bea: How do you think the public would describe me?

 

Marcus: A bit of a tit.

 

Bea: No really, tell me.

 

Marcus: Just told you. A bit of a tit.

 

?She?s a moaning mingebag?

 

While some housemates are having to eat Pigs Eyeballs, Pigs Tail and Head Cheese tarts:

 

?What?s the pastry like??

 

To Sophie:

 

?I made a cameo appearance in your bath and your life has been better since?

 

On George Lamb:

 

?We?re not fucking sleeping, you cunt!?

 

On his fans on the outside:

 

?All those women having a good old strum over a picture of the Dark Horse?

 

?I wonder how many women pretend their husbands are ME when they have sex with them??

 

To Charlie, on Bea:

 

?Were we not having a nice talk about Girls Aloud until she came in??

 

Talking with Big Brother:

 

BB: Would you like to say anything, Marcus?

 

Marcus: Yes, you?re talking shit.

 

?Would you like cherryade all over your diary room chair??

 

BB: Would you have shaved your eyebrow off, Marcus?

 

Marcus: I?d rather do something like? set fire to ourselves

 

BB: Can Marcus, Siavash and Halfwit come to the diary room.

 

Marcus: How about you lick my love pump, baby.

 

Marcus: In conclusion, I leave you with this *flexes right bicep* and this *flexes left bicep*

 

On a coughing cameraman:

 

?Not you again, get some fucking Tixylix, yeah??

 

When asked to name words beginning with ?b?:

 

?Bollocks, bastard, brontosaurus??

 

On what he?ll do when he leaves the house:

 

?I?ll watch it on the TV, have fish and chips, watch Terminator Salvation, start arguments on the BB forum, have sex, play with toys, get my birthday presents, and make a nuisance of myself?

 

On Sophie?s ?message from home?:

 

?I think yours will just be a picture of your dogs grave?

 

On his own ?message from home?:

 

?I think Selma Hayek and Jet from Gladiators will be in it?

 

On Colonic Irrigation:

 

?Do you think we can swap a Token for a colonic irrigator? You know, one of those machines with a little tube so you can see the bits of shit go past. I?d feel like Jaws and there?d be stuff in there like number plates and turtles?

 

On his plans for the next week:

 

?I may just smash your poxy house to its foundations. How do you like those fucking apples??

 

Writing to his fans:

 

?I have a Siamese cat called Abdul. He is a little shit.?

 

?All the fucking best, Marcus?

 

His favourite chat-up line:

 

?Would you be offended if blood rushed to my penis??

 

Finally, the Big Brother voice over when Marcus was in the shower:

 

?Twelve fifty-two pm. Marcus is washing himself in the shower using a pan scourer?

 

On purchasing a Britney Spears CD from HMV.com:

 

'It was ?1.99, I thought to myself well I can't afford not to plonk down for that'

Got Sophie at 44, 38, 33, 25 and 20s

 

so im praying for her to win

I haven't watched any of it, but I sort of wish I had now after reading about that guy with the big sideburns.

 

Someone sent me a load of quotes, and some of his one-liners are fucking brilliant!

 

 

He's my new favourite man on the planet

Marcus was funny as fuck but our Maude hated him

Marcus was funny as fuck but our Maude hated him

 

I only ever watch it when i'm at the enemy's.

 

Now Marcus has gone, I make her turn the shit over.

Got Sophie at 44, 38, 33, 25 and 20s

 

so im praying for her to win

 

Nah! her hair's like a bloody haystack! and as for her laugh