I need some advice

 

I'm in the middle of sorting some flights out for the England v NI match next September but there seems to be more that 1 airport in Belfast so these are the questions

 

1. Where's the nightlife

2. Where are the hotels situated

3. Which is the nearest airport to 1 and 2

4. Where are all the 'mucky bastard' parlours for the single ones amongst us

5. Will tickets go on sale to England travel club members only and what's the chance of getting some in the Irish end

6. Is there a lucrative sex trade in ovine molestation?

7. Is it true that Clint Eastwood is Stan Laurels love child

8. Do women in in Belfast share kidneys and have to visit the toilets together?

 

Ta

Widnes

 

PS, not all these questions are relevant

I will ask the two Norn Iron people here...

Right, the nightlife is in the centre along with the hotels. You want Belfast City Airport, not International which is miles away, and there's about 0 change of getting a ticket.

all the clubs and Hotels are in the city centre,

 

the city airport is the handiest of the 2 but far more expensive, theres a bus that runs from the international to the city centre every half hour anyway

 

you have no chance of tickets for the game as there are only 1400 away seats and all the home ones are sold out already

 

the bars for the dirtiest skank (and I mean dirty) are the parlour, laverys and upstairs in the Bot, none of you will get a bird though as your all 'dirty brits'

Can somebody please answer the goat question or do they not like 'dirty brits' too

 

Right, If we aren't going to get tickets, where is the best bar to watch the match without being nailbombed or having our eyelids glues together?

 

Ta

Oh and Carlos

 

Are you still coming?

the bars for the dirtiest skank (and I mean dirty) are the parlour, laverys and upstairs in the Bot, none of you will get a bird though as your all 'dirty brits'

 

went on Stag Do back in April

 

went to the Bot

 

pulled an Aussie bird who let me piss on her

 

she was asleep, but she didn't say no

Vaughns, the harbour and the bot will all probably be a good place to watch it

 

 

I have my ticket for the game though :D/

pulled an Aussie bird who let me piss on her

 

she was asleep, but she didn't say no

 

I don't think that's the same thing Zico

 

It's like going to the bog, having a roll in the hay with madam palm and her 4 finger sisters or Pamela Handerson, jizzing on your hand, rolling it until it's like parmasan cheese and flicking it in the face of the fittest bird you know, then telling all your mates that you've just cum in her face

 

And that leads me nicely to the 'biggest fib you told as a kid' thread

Nightlife's in the town centre more or less. Up towards the University's worth a look too, Botanic Avenue area where Johnny Adair was shot in the head and survived. Hotel's, Botanic Avenue again for B&Bs, will have to book in advance as most are small. You could always stay at the Europa, Belfast's main hotel and the most bombed one in Europe. Sleep tight.

 

Belfast City's nearest as Carlos says, but Belfast International ain't bad at all, when I went in November 03 it was 6 quid on the Ulsterbus to the centre. Jet2 from Leeds/Bratfert we went with, the economy flights go to International. Not an issue when it comes to sorting flights I wouldn't have said.

 

And to all England fans, cos I can see this coming a mile off, just because it's Brit zone don't go wandering up the Shankill as if you own the place because your feet won't fuckin touch...

 

And in the interests of parity, here's an interesting anecdote from my trip. There's a boozer in the centre called O' Murray's, or something Irish or other. Tried to get in, couldn't, door locked. Looked down, there's a buzzer. Pressed buzzer. Fella the other side of the door more suspicious than Inspector Morse opens door and lets us in. All Irish stuff on the walls, OK we thought, no Provo stuff or anything so we'll be OK. Had a Guinness apiece to be safe. Attracted more stares. 10 o clock at night, barman came over and said 'another drink lads before you go?' 'erm...no thanks.' Went to go out the door we'd been in through. 'Wrong door lads'. Got pointed to the back door. Walked through it and through a shitty 20 foot long ginnel populated by 3 of the meanest looking fuckers you've seen in your life, all in bouncer gear. Interesting that there's no bouncers when you walk in but Satanic ones when you walk out.

 

Fantastic place though. Saw Alex Higgins in one pub. What a mess.

Oh and Carlos

 

Are you still coming?

 

Yes, as long as the price is right, I don't have to share a room with Danny Dickhead and you promise to take me up the bot :Mm

I can promise you 2 out of 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't think Danny Dickhead is coming