There's 50 names of Scottish & English teams hidden in the text. i've got 45
The sun shone bright on a Saturday afternoon. I had just been watching the Wimbledon Ladies??? Singles Final on TV, and no.1 seed Navratilova had just beaten Chris Evert on Centre Court.
I was reading the paper and I felt a little peckish so I went to the fridge, and as per usual loads of stuff had gone off. All that was left was a lump of old ham. It was bloody awful ham. I had left it in the fridge for far too long so I decided to bury it in the garden. I then got in my brand new, top of the range RS Turbo and went out and got a brand new tin of tasty John West ham.
On the way home I must have taken a wrong turning because I ended up going past Okehampton and getting lost. I did not know if I was heading for Torquay or Kilmarnock and I ended up getting lost in some man???s field.
The owner of the field was a man called Ian, and, as he came over his mate Bernie arrived. ???Hi Bern??? Ian said ???Didn???t I see you in Sheffield Wednesday with your mum? Is your mother well????
???No??? said Ian ??? I think her heart???s a bit dodgy.???
Anyway, it turned out that Ian spent most of his spare times under Land Rovers. He came over, lifted the bonnet and said ???No problem! I can fix your car diff trouble easily!???
He fixed it, towed me in his old box ford truck, and after about an acre we eventually got it running smoothly again.
It took me ages to get back home because it is virtually impossible to drive fast on village roads, but in the end I went under by Exeter service station, got on the M5, and before I knew it, Hey presto!, no problem! I was home in time for match of the day, Rotherham v Manchester Utd and Blackburn, Leyton Orient.
I support Valencia in the Spanish League and my heart bleeds when they lose. Their game was called off this week because they found a strange parcel ticking in the south end of the stadium and somebody had graffitied a load of dumb art on the wall by the burger stand, where some bloke had bought, for his tot, ten hamburgers. Apparently somebody had tried to plant some plutonium in the burger van before the guy had chance to put the bolt on. The Spanish press reported that it was a member of the IRAI think. If it had gone off (like my ham!), it would have blown someone???s barnet off. They would have soiledundees and we would have had to buy another wigand get someone to apply mouth to mouth. But as luck would have it, it did not go off and all was well.
Apparently they are going to change it next year to a brand new, run of the mill sombre Chinese takeaway because they already have two successful outlets in Queen???s Park and Solihull.
I will finish now because there is not much elseanyone can say, except that at the end of the day it???s night.
There's 50 names of Scottish & English teams hidden in the text. i've got 45
The sun shone bright on a Saturday afternoon. I had just been watching the Wimbledon Ladies??? Singles Final on TV, and no.1 seed Navratilova had just beaten Chris Evert on Centre Court.
I was reading the paper and I felt a little peckish so I went to the fridge, and as per usual loads of stuff had gone off. All that was left was a lump of old ham. It was bloody awful ham. I had left it in the fridge for far too long so I decided to bury it in the garden. I then got in my brand new, top of the range RS Turbo and went out and got a brand new tin of tasty John West ham.
On the way home I must have taken a wrong turning because I ended up going past Okehampton and getting lost. I did not know if I was heading for Torquay or Kilmarnock and I ended up getting lost in some man???s field.
The owner of the field was a man called Ian, and, as he came over his mate Bernie arrived. ???Hi Bern??? Ian said ???Didn???t I see you in Sheffield Wednesday with your mum? Is your mother well????
???No??? said Ian ??? I think her heart???s a bit dodgy.???
Anyway, it turned out that Ian spent most of his spare times under Land Rovers. He came over, lifted the bonnet and said ???No problem! I can fix your car diff trouble easily!???
He fixed it, towed me in his old box ford truck, and after about an acre we eventually got it running smoothly again.
It took me ages to get back home because it is virtually impossible to drive fast on village roads, but in the end I went under by Exeter service station, got on the M5, and before I knew it, Hey presto!, no problem! I was home in time for match of the day, Rotherham v Manchester Utd and Blackburn, Leyton Orient.
I support Valencia in the Spanish League and my heart bleeds when they lose. Their game was called off this week because they found a strange parcel ticking in the south end of the stadium and somebody had graffitied a load of dumb art on the wall by the burger stand, where some bloke had bought, for his tot, ten hamburgers. Apparently somebody had tried to plant some plutonium in the burger van before the guy had chance to put the bolt on. The Spanish press reported that it was a member of the IRA I think. If it had gone off (like my ham!), it would have blown someone???s barnet off. They would have soiled undees and we would have had to buy another wig and get someone to apply mouth to mouth. But as luck would have it, it did not go off and all was well.
Apparently they are going to change it next year to a brand new, run of the mill sombre Chinese takeaway because they already have two successful outlets in Queen???s Park and Solihull.
I will finish now because there is not much else anyone can say, except that at the end of the day it???s night.