So the eldest (14) has a proper girlfriend.

it must be serious because he has taken to regular brushing of his teeth and showers without being nagged.

Theyre holding hands on the way home from school in front or everyone so its 'serious'

My lad is...lets say...'well developed' for his age, and we have had a 'put your own sheets in the washer' agreement for at least 2 years.

Whilst i hope theyre not sexually active im also not stupid enough to assume they wont be, we do have an easy going relationship and we have briefly discussed things like masturbation ( knock yerself out kid its normal- just not in the wrong place lad)

I need to have a chat with him which doesnt phase me at all,

the thing that phases me is

Condoms.

If it seems things may be getting more 'serious' and i get him some is it encouragement or simply a wise move?

 

I dont want to embarrass them but i dont want to be a grandma either.

 

Advice please boys and girls.

So the eldest (14) has a proper girlfriend.

it must be serious because he has taken to regular brushing of his teeth and showers without being nagged.

Theyre holding hands on the way home from school in front or everyone so its 'serious'

My lad is...lets say...'well developed' for his age, and we have had a 'put your own sheets in the washer' agreement for at least 2 years.

Whilst i hope theyre not sexually active im also not stupid enough to assume they wont be, we do have an easy going relationship and we have briefly discussed things like masturbation ( knock yerself out kid its normal- just not in the wrong place lad)

I need to have a chat with him which doesnt phase me at all,

the thing that phases me is

Condoms.

If it seems things may be getting more 'serious' and i get him some is it encouragement or simply a wise move?

 

I dont want to embarrass them but i dont want to be a grandma either.

 

Advice please boys and girls.

 

Responsible parents do things for the right reasons. Irresponsible parents don't give a feck. No matter how uncomfortale, and embarrassing it may be, some things have just got to be said and done. The consequences are far worst. But don't forget that you are talking to someone who knows absolutly everything and is bulletproof to what the world has to throw at them.

If my 14 year old daughters 'boyfriend' mum was supplying condoms I wouldn't be happy.

 

Nor would I, but if my 14 yr old daughter was having sex, I'd want her fella to wearing a nodder.

 

Maybe the parents of the daughter should be giving out the condoms to their 14 year old.

Lozza, thats the most sensible thing youve ever typed. Thankyou

Maybe the parents of the daughter should be giving out the condoms to their 14 year old.

 

She's still a child.

 

I really am glad I didn't breed.

Edited March 14, 201214 yr by no balls

yeah tell him to stay away, dont wanna be a stepgrandad at 41

It's strange how schools etc and generally in the media there seems to be general agreement that 'discussing' matters of the flesh early in a kid's life is beneficial- yet we are one of the worst places in Europe for teenage pregnancies etc.

 

Im no expert but to my mind we seem to overload kids with facts, when they don't have the experience/maturity to utilise the facts correctly. Not an anti-youth statement, just from observations.

 

Is it that wrong to leave young uns to grow at their own pace, and enjoy finding things out for themselves without pressurising them with constant bombardments from all angles?

 

Mine's too young at the moment, but I guess in your situation, I'd have to have the condom chat- better to have tried than regret not doing later

I never had the chat. I was quiet lucky in that one of my mates caught something when he was 15. Gum clinic tested him for everything and that quite happily put me off for a little bit.

 

Sharing a room upto being 18 is also a mood killer

They used to have teenager only (and I mean teenager as in 12-16) 'drop-in' family planning sessions at Lever Chambers)* (near Octagon car park). You might shudder at the term 'teenager family planning' but surely that's better than 'unwanted teenage pregnancy'.

 

Anyhow, they called these sessions something else anyway - something more 'cool' and 'street'. There seemed to be a kind of cache for the kids who used to attend, a sort of 'look at us were having it off and being responsible about it, unlike these other mugs/chavs' - and they went in couples etc. so it made for a cheap date for them too

 

Another selling point was the massive party bags of free johnnies (good uns too - Mates, Durex etc. and all different varieties) they used to hand out on leaving "Would you like a bag?". The girls would get advice on going on the pill etc.. The all-female staff were non-patronising, non-judgmental or 'mumsy'.

 

Before any wags start asking why I know so much about these sessions, a girl I was seeing at the time was one of the advisors.

Anyway, I'm sure they still have some sort of scheme running - pick up a pamphlet or two (they have times/days etc. on them IIRC) and perhaps discreetly leave them in places where your lad will find one. If it causes any bother/embarrassment - say he confronts you with it - you can always claim they were for someone else (friend at work etc.) and he shouldn't be so nosey...

 

If one disappears and nothing is said hopefully it'll be job done, I have to reiterate the big selling point for a lot of kids who went was the party bags of loads of free johnnies - I mean have you seen the price of a pack of 12 these days?

 

HTH.

 

 

* They had similar sessions other places, but my then-girlfriend (the NHS worker! before you lot start) said the Lever Chambers ones were the best - the kids could also do something else afterward - Bella Pizza was over the way

Edited March 15, 201214 yr by Youri McAnespie

National Condom day according to Twitter.

they used to handy out those so called "party packs" outside the water place. i remember being in bella pizza as a yoof and seeing two lads in my year coming out of the walk in center with a bag full of johnnies, neither of them were wrapped too tight so much so that we proceeded to walk in bella pizza with one stretched around his head.

 

He has 4 kids now.