November 19, 200421 yr made me chuckle.. If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with,' Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young proclaimed proudly once upon a time. Well I can't be with my girlfriend at the moment, because I'm in Risley Remand Centre awaiting trial for driving offences. And worse, the man in the cell with me is six foot four, called Skull, has Satan tattooed on his forehead and is serving a 7 year stretch for attempted murder. S Hymen, Risley Remand Centre ONE pound a week will supply water for an entire village in Tanzania', says Oxfam. So how come United Utilities charge me twenty pounds a month for my three bedroom semi? The fleecing b@st@rds. Tracey Cusick, Cumbria HOW come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my son's football match I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one law for the rich and another for the poor. Reg Ashcroft, Bradford They say "you can't judge a book by its cover". What nonsense. The last edition of High School An@l that I bought featured a young lady stuffing a big one up her bomb-bay on the front page, and this turned out to be an excellent indication of the contents. Mark Roberts IT'S uncanny how some of these old sayings are true. 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder', said my wife as she waved goodbye to me on the way to spend a month with her mother. Since then I have grown quite fond of my next door neighbour. I actually gave her one on the living room carpet this morning. Christopher Hampshire, Bristol I was shocked to hear Home Secretary David Blunkett say that Britain's prison population has been ballooning for the past ten years. My God has the world gone mad? Those people are there to be punished, not to be given 'thrill of a lifetime' experiences that most law abiding citizens can only dream of. Mrs Close, Headingley Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey. What about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering on about galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once. Genius. Mike Woods, e-mail With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces soldiers try to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers include a couple of Iraqis in the hunting team? They found the tw@t quickly enough the last time he played hide and seek with them. Shuggie, Email It's all very well Meg Ryan getting her kit off for her new film, but why wasn't she doing it twenty years ago before her puppies hit the pan? Alan Pick, Kingston-upon-Toast Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection with the exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo Fighters. I hope that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their splendid sense of humour.
November 19, 200421 yr HOW come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my son's football match I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one law for the rich and another for the poor. seriously, why is it ok for a blacky to call another 'nigga', but not ok fer a white bloke to say it? [-(
November 19, 200421 yr HOW come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my son's football match I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one law for the rich and another for the poor. seriously, why is it ok for a blacky to call another 'nigga', but not ok fer a white bloke to say it? [-( it all depends on the context in which it is used bet Tim Westwood "gets away with it"
November 19, 200421 yr bet Tim Westwood "gets away with it" Who's going to argue with him though. With his dad being a vicar and him coming from the crack ridden, mean streets of downtown Cambridgeshire, he's one bad mo'fo.
November 19, 200421 yr bet Tim Westwood "gets away with it" Who's going to argue with him though. With his dad being a vicar and him coming from the crack ridden, mean streets of downtown Cambridgeshire, he's one bad mo'fo. he's a cock is what he is.
November 19, 200421 yr ONE pound a week will supply water for an entire village in Tanzania', says Oxfam. So how come United Utilities charge me twenty pounds a month for my three bedroom semi? The fleecing b@st@rds. Tracey Cusick, Cumbria
November 19, 200421 yr Last night I dreamt I was shagging ther blond one out of ABBA. Well, it was the worst night of my life - what a nightmare. Just my luck that I didn't dream about shagging his wife Agnatha.
made me chuckle..
If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with,'
Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young proclaimed proudly once upon a time. Well
I can't be with my girlfriend at the moment, because I'm in Risley
Remand Centre awaiting trial for driving offences. And worse, the man in
the cell with me is six foot four, called Skull, has Satan tattooed on
his forehead and is serving a 7 year stretch for attempted murder.
S Hymen, Risley Remand Centre
ONE pound a week will supply water for an entire village in Tanzania',
says Oxfam. So how come United Utilities charge me twenty pounds a month
for my three bedroom semi? The fleecing b@st@rds.
Tracey Cusick, Cumbria
HOW come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million
selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my son's
football match I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one law
for the rich and another for the poor.
Reg Ashcroft, Bradford
They say "you can't judge a book by its cover". What nonsense. The last
edition of High School An@l that I bought featured a young lady stuffing
a big one up her bomb-bay on the front page, and this turned out to be
an excellent indication of the contents.
Mark Roberts
IT'S uncanny how some of these old sayings are true. 'Absence makes the
heart grow fonder', said my wife as she waved goodbye to me on the way
to spend a month with her mother. Since then I have grown quite fond of
my next door neighbour. I actually gave her one on the living room
carpet this morning.
Christopher Hampshire, Bristol
I was shocked to hear Home Secretary David Blunkett say that Britain's
prison population has been ballooning for the past ten years. My God has
the world gone mad? Those people are there to be punished, not to be
given 'thrill of a lifetime' experiences that most law abiding citizens
can only dream of.
Mrs Close, Headingley
Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey. What
about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering on about
galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once. Genius.
Mike Woods, e-mail
With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces soldiers
try to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers include a couple of
Iraqis in the hunting team? They found the tw@t quickly enough the last
time he played hide and seek with them.
Shuggie, Email
It's all very well Meg Ryan getting her kit off for her new film, but
why wasn't she doing it twenty years ago before her puppies hit the pan?
Alan Pick, Kingston-upon-Toast
Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection with
the exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo Fighters. I
hope that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their splendid
sense of humour.