Idiot Wind

Going for a walk with the bearded lady? What a scintillating proposition.

Nope. Next guess...

Work, and being paid lots to go there! I actually work in Belfast but live about 40 miles away.

Who mentioned facial? Sorry, only joking!

You'll be fine noballs, the beard is usually a good deterrant.

They wouldn't be a very successful rapist if they did would they.

About 10 pints.

Idiot dating is for people who have been assaulted with the ugly stick or are 'differently abled'. Not in a good way.

Hmm, just pondering whether I'll be needing a large tub or not?

Absolutely bang on. KFC gravy - the choice of Gods.

I prefer to give rather than receive.

I remember phoning the Boleyn pub about an hour after Wham were relegated. I kindly offered to enlighten them of the geographical whereabouts of places such as Crewe and Rotherham. The profanities. Shocking.

We threw that game against Chesterfield, I'm ragging adamant about that.

I think that's why I fell foul of jim - acting like a pussy on the coaches as a kid.

Ta very much! I hope I do! HBIYC? (not seen that for a while!) Neither have I - my beer belly gets in the way you see.

Are they orange? 8-[

Hello. Despite the name, no. Anyone any other explanations for my unusual moniker? I'm actually in Northern Ireland these days - just outside Omagh.

If I want you to speak ditch digger I'll throw you a bone Good comeback son.

Was for safety reasons, we wouldn't want people doing themselves a mischief whilst in the throes of laughter due to your literary hirality would we.

8-[

Absolutely no chance of signing the surrender monkey. I think Faye is the only player on the planet uglier than him!

English confuses you does it?

It's ok, I'm quite capable of finding a person in reality rather than on t'internet. My sense of humour is a winner.

Shame, I was getting excited until I found out you are a bird.