One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

 

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

 

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..

 

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

 

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

 

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

 

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

 

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

 

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

 

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

 

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

well that was a minute and a half wasted

well that was a minute and a half wasted

 

You obviously don't know how long it took me to make up that joke.

 

Whatever I do, I can't win. Pfft

You obviously don't know how long it took me to make up that joke.Whatever I do, I can't win. Pfft

That 'joke' is about 15 years old

And it was shocking then

That 'joke' is about 15 years old

 

I know. I made it up then. I was a bright spark when I was a young un you know

Oh, right

Are you American Ashey?

A Double Nextor

 

Bottom 2 threads

Edited November 27, 200718 yr by superbobby

what a bad one.....

Never heard this one before

thats older than Smileys 'carol' joke. (although that one did make me laugh)

A Double Nextor

 

 

I'm sorry but speech impediment springs to mind.

A combination of Nando's and bextor..........

A combination of Nando's and bextor..........

I don't get it.............................

They like to have a little 'in joke'.

 

If you post something thats been on before, such as a joke, the spotty ones shout 'BEXTORRRRRRRR'! or 'SEB'. It is a little competition to see who can 'SEB' it first, the winner gets the opportunity to wank themselves into a frenzy.

 

You see millions of years ago somone put a joke up, the 'murder on Zidane's floor'one . It wasnt funny then but when when someone else put in on they were ridiculed to the point of suicide and the 'Bextor' rule came about.

 

More recently, some butty shop opened up Horwich, the sme thing happened, and the 'Nando' call was born.

 

You are either in the 'SEB' class or the 'Nando' class, or neither if you are not special needs.