Had to go to London today. Left here at crack of sparrows, parked up at Uxbridge then got the tube into the middle of London, the proper mad busy middle. Embankment tube was where I got off, so the proper middle.

 

F?ckin f?ck doing that twice a day all your working life, sweating like a c?nt on the tube (which you've paid a fortume to get on) for 2 hours a day and being pushed up against some Somali's armpit (and I don't mind Somalis). No c?nt talks to anyone else, I tried to get in a conversation with some tart who came and sat next to me about what her notes she was leafing through were about (taxation policy, for the minority who are interested) but she looked at me as if I'd sh?t on her lap, and she was one of the friendlier ones. And the amount of dickhead f?ckin Apprentice wannabees in pink shirts with huge collars and if they did have a tie on the knot was the size of a f?ckin cushion, and massive lensed sunglasses seem all the rage nowadays. Yuppees, that's all. All style, no substance.

 

I truly believe London is an amazing city - the whole world in one city - but live and work there for years on end, communting from the outside of it to its inside, f?ckin f?ck that is what I say.

 

Cambridgeshire tomorrow. More likely to have a conversation about fagging and w?nking on digestives than taxation policy.

 

I'll let you know how that goes.

w?nking on digestives

 

massive lensed sunglasses seem all the rage nowadays.

 

Them fcking "knob glasses" I just don't understand them, why not just wear blinkers, tunnel vision or what.

 

Bet folk getting knocked down has shot up.

 

 

The application of chefs special sauce before placing strawberrys in / on it and calling it a strawberry flan. Marc Almonds favourite dessert.

Maggie, there is a pub at the end of Shaftsbury Avenue, just up from Piccadilly Circus. We often go in there and I think you were with us when we played the Germans in 99 or whenever they shut Wembley.

 

Sit in the window one afteroon with a couple of pints and people watch.

 

You will see every creed, colour, orientation, and freak known to man within a couple of hours. One armed pink haired chinese transexuals on stilts is nowt compared to that street.

 

As The Bear said on our Charlton trip down there 'You have to go to London every now and again to remind you that you are actually quite normal'.

Edited May 7, 200818 yr by Smiffs

Maggie, there is a pub at the end of Shaftsbury Avenue, just up from Piccadilly Circus. We often go in there and I think you were with us when we played the Germans in 99 or whenever they shut Wembley.

 

Sit in the window one afteroon with a couple of pints and people watch.

 

You will see every creed, colour, orientation, and freak known to man within a couple of hours. One armed pink haired chinese transexuals on stilts is nowt compared to that street.

 

As The Bear said on our Charlton trip down there 'You have to go to London every now and again to remind you that you are actually quite normal'.

 

 

Yipes, the yokels en masse!

Well there has to be some white British males there now and again.

went for a job interview in London years ago, had to navigate the tube, and then decided I didn't ever want to work in London

 

because

 

right I'm a bit late for the tube, so I'm legging it, I go through the barrier and makes my way to the platform, train is about to leave, doors are shutting, got rucksack on my back with pack lunch in it, gets trapped in the doors and leaves me stuck half on the train half off it, never been so embarrassed in my life when fully clothed

 

the train won't leave because the doors won't shut, the whole carriage stares at me like I've just dropped my pants and shat on the floor, but bear in mind I'm stuck and can't get bag through the door, does one of them help me? do they f?ck, just stand there looking coldly at me

 

then one guy on the platform starts to whack my bag for me, and the "woah my sandwiches are in there, easy now" didn't go down well either

 

I know that makes me look a bit provincial but still, would never happen on the 126 bus to Bolton

 

the only redeeming aspect of the journey, when I got to the other end, not got my ticket as I didn't realise in my rush they come out the other side of the barrier and you carry on - woman tells me she'll have to charge me ?10 for not having a ticket - "but I'm from Bolton, we don't have the tube there" - and she let me off

When we were navigating the tube down in London prior to Madrid, we too got confused with it.

 

Our excuse of "we're from Bolton" got us off too.

 

Then we proceeded to blame young Oliver for not putting it in his itinerary beforehand and not carrying out a full risk assessment on the trip.

young oliver you are you ger than me you little fecker. and my itinery was expecting each person in the group to have an IQ of over 20. so pipe that boyo

went for a job interview in London years ago, had to navigate the tube, and then decided I didn't ever want to work in London

 

because

 

right I'm a bit late for the tube, so I'm legging it, I go through the barrier and makes my way to the platform, train is about to leave, doors are shutting, got rucksack on my back with pack lunch in it, gets trapped in the doors and leaves me stuck half on the train half off it, never been so embarrassed in my life when fully clothed

 

the train won't leave because the doors won't shut, the whole carriage stares at me like I've just dropped my pants and shat on the floor, but bear in mind I'm stuck and can't get bag through the door, does one of them help me? do they f?ck, just stand there looking coldly at me

 

then one guy on the platform starts to whack my bag for me, and the "woah my sandwiches are in there, easy now" didn't go down well either

 

I know that makes me look a bit provincial but still, would never happen on the 126 bus to Bolton

 

the only redeeming aspect of the journey, when I got to the other end, not got my ticket as I didn't realise in my rush they come out the other side of the barrier and you carry on - woman tells me she'll have to charge me ?10 for not having a ticket - "but I'm from Bolton, we don't have the tube there" - and she let me off

 

that really made me chuckle. Can you imagine a suicide bomber 'whoah, my home made semtex is in there?'

young oliver you are you ger than me you little fecker. and my itinery was expecting each person in the group to have an IQ of over 20. so pipe that boyo

 

 

we need to go for a couple of pints in this weather i might go directly to the beer garden at lunch and have a few quiet ones with fellow classmates

we need to go for a couple of pints in this weather i might go directly to the beer garden at lunch and have a few quiet ones with fellow classmates

 

I'm chained to this desk until I finish this work today. Why isn't there a button to switch wways off or the time being, and slam it behind some reinforced concrete doors?

i get like that. in fact thats what mim doing now. fcuk the work off and get down to the pub. you fancy a few tomorrow in town

i get like that. in fact thats what mim doing now. fcuk the work off and get down to the pub. you fancy a few tomorrow in town

 

No, college then working at 5.30pm. As much as i'd like to, i;'ve found enough will power to say no. No means no Oli,, and don;t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Drivel.

 

 

 

PM each other you couple of botty slappers.

thought you would want to join in you ginger freak. im sure it was you that fucked the itinery up

thought you would want to join in you ginger freak. im sure it was you that fucked the itinery up

 

 

GINGERIST

 

YOU SICKEN ME

your not a freak thought alison. you lot are like another bloody race

thought you would want to join in you ginger freak. im sure it was you that fucked the itinery up

 

 

 

 

Why what did i do you lanky streak of piss?

cant quite remember it was such a shambles. and lanky means tall and thin i think you will find i am not the second of these. i am off for a few beers now ladies. see you at 1pm ish

"But I'm from Bolton, we don't have the tube there" - and she let me off

 

She left you off because your Northern & she was scared of foreigners